


And One More Makes Three

by jessi_08



Series: And One More Makes Three Universe [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 42,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessi_08/pseuds/jessi_08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Motherhood is a long journey with some of the greatest of life's rewards but also it's deepest falls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been working on this for a few months now and finally got to a point where I just have to finish polishing the end up as I post. I'll try to post at least every day. Be warned there is a major death in here. Please let me know what you guys think.

Tobin stared at Alex, a grin on her face as Alex stood there with the test results, a ‘congratulations’ in bright pink on the very bottom. 

“You’re pregnant,” Tobin said, eyes filling with tears. They had been trying for a year to get one of them to take. 

“We’re going to be parents,” Alex said smiling, as Tobin wrapped her arms around Alex’s hips, pulling her closer, burying her face in Alex’s neck, trying not to cry. 

“We’re going to be parents,” Tobin said back, and shimmied her way down so she was kneeling, eye level with Alex’s still flat stomach. “Hey, you in there, I’m your mom and I can’t believe you are in there. I’m so happy; I can’t wait to meet you.” Tobin stood up and wrapped Alex in her arms, picking the forward up; Alex locking her legs around Tobin. 

“I’m so excited Lex,” Tobin said kissing her. 

“I know,” Alex smiled, wiping the tears from Tobin’s face. “We’re going to have a baby,” she said, kissing Tobin again.

x-x-x

They told Jill right off the bat, allowing her to call up another forward. However, they also asked her to keep Alex on the roster. They wanted to tell the team all at once and their camp coming up in two weeks was the perfect time. Jill, after confirming with Dawn, agreed with them and even agreed to let Alex condition still, as long as she didn’t push herself too hard. 

So now in their hotel room, getting ready for the first team dinner of camp, Alex couldn’t sit still. 

“Lex, please just settle a little bit, you’re making me nervous,” Tobin said and Alex tried her damnedest to calm down but didn’t succeed very well. Tobin sighed and walked over to Alex, sitting next to her on the bed and pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Stop being ridiculous,” Tobin said rocking them back and forth. Alex laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind Tobin’s ear.

“I’m just excited, they are our family,” Alex said and Tobin nodded in understanding, “we’re bringing the next generation in.”

“Well actually, I do believe that Ryan was the start of the next gen Lex, or well maybe Mal,” Tobin smirked and Alex laughed, resting her head on Tobin’s shoulder as the midfielder laid them down on the bed. 

“I just can’t wait to tell them,” Alex said again, nuzzling Tobin’s neck. She placed a soft kiss against the woman’s pulse point. 

“Well, dinner is only ten minutes away, so you don’t have to wait much longer,” Tobin grinned. 

“We could go early,” Alex said and Tobin laughed, shaking her head. She rolled over so she was hovering over Alex.

“I have a better idea,” she said before leaning down and kissing her.

They ended up being five minutes late to team dinner, earning a stern look from Jill and a smirk from Dawn. Alex quickly pulled Tobin to a table grabbing empty seats. 

“Dude, bad way to start off a new camp,” Ash said and Ali pinched her arm. 

“Oh trust me, we already started out on a bad foot with Jill,” Tobin said back and Alex rolled her eyes.

“Ok, now that everyone has finally decided to join us,” Jill said giving the two a pointed look, earning chuckles from across the room, “we have some announcements to make. First off, practice in the morning is being moved back by an hour…” Jill droned, causing Alex to start getting anxious again.

“Babe, relax,” Tobin said, kissing Alex’s temple. 

“I’m just excited,” Alex said and Tobin smiled at her. 

“I know, so am I.”

“Alright, lastly Tobin and Alex have some news to share with everyone,” Jill said looking over toward them, this time with an encouraging smile, “girls?”

“Ready?” Tobin asked as the team focused on them. 

“More than ready,” Alex grinned as she turned to the team. “So, I won’t be able to play with you guys for a while,” Alex said and everyone looked at her, concerned.

“Why?!” Kelley shouted from her seat, looking as if someone had kicked her puppy. 

“Yeah Alex, you ok? You didn’t get injured already, did you?” Syd asked.

“I told you to avoid the stairs! They’re the downfall of so many good people,” Pinoe joked and Alex couldn’t contain her smile from getting bigger with each comment.

“Actually guys,” Tobin said looking up at Alex, who gave her a nod, “Alex is pregnant,” she said and the room erupted into cheers. 

“I call godmother!” Kelley yelled and Ali glared at her.

“Shut it squirrel. We all know who has godmother locked down,” Ali warned.

“Yup, that’d be me,” Lauren smirked, crossing her arms triumphantly in front of her.

“Oh yeah, Holiday?” Amy sassed, “try me.”

“Woah guys, seriously chill. We aren’t making any choices any time soon,” Tobin explained looking over at Alex. “Anyway, all of you aren’t in the running,” Tobin teased and Alex laughed as the team started bickering all over again. Alex leaned over pressing her forehead to Tobin’s.

“I love you,” she whispered and kissed Tobin as the woman smiled.

“I love you too, Lex.”

x-x-x

It wasn’t long after that the excitement started to wear off for Tobin, and the fear started taking over. She found herself unable to breathe when she thought about all the ways she could screw a kid up. Alex noticed the change in her wife; the spark vanishing from the woman’s eyes. It forced her own fears to bubble to the surface.

“Tobs, I promise. You’ll be a wonderful mom,” Alex said, snuggling into Tobin’s side. She ran a hand over her three-month baby bump. 

“I’m terrified, Lex.”

“Tobin, you are great with kids.” Alex took Tobin’s hand and placed it over the baby bump. “You feel that? That’s our little boy or girl in there, and they already love you,” Alex promised, watching Tobin sigh and shake her head.

“What if I fuck this up, Lex?” Alex knew it was serious, Tobin rarely swore. Alex sighed and moved to sit up, glad that Tobin gave her a hand. 

“Where are you going?” Tobin asked as Alex left the couch, going to find her phone. 

“I’m calling in reinforcements,” Alex clarified and Tobin rolled her eyes. Every time they had a big fight or one of them refused to deal with things, the other would call in the team. Normally, it worked out well, but for this, Tobin doubted there was anything they could do to ease her worry. 

“Babe, you don’t have to do that,” Tobin said following her wife into the kitchen as Alex grabbed her phone and sent out an S.O.S. text. 

“Too late,” Alex said, smiling at Tobin and wrapping her arms around the midfielder’s neck. 

“Toby, I love you. This is a new adventure for the both of us. I’m scared too, but I know that we’ll be great.”

“How do you know?”

“Because, ” Alex smiled, “we have each other.” Leaning in, she kissed Tobin. “Nothing can beat the two of us when we’re together,” she promised as Tobin rested her head on Alex’s shoulder, holding her tightly. 

“You’re right.”

“I know I am,” Alex smirked, kissing Tobin’s forehead. Alex walked away, leaving Tobin behind as the woman smiled, shaking her head. Sometimes, her wife was too much, but Tobin wouldn’t have it any other way. Tobin finally ran to catch up with her and wrapped her arms around her, settling her hands on the small baby bump.

“Listen here little one, you better not get your mother’s sass. I won’t be able to handle two of you!” Tobin said and Alex laughed, leaning back she kissed Tobin.

“We’ll double team you one day,” Alex promised and Tobin smiled, kissing her again.

“I can’t wait.” 

x-x-x

Alex expected some response to her S.O.S. text but not the turnout they received. Somehow, the whole team had gotten together and made a trip out to their Portland home and were now standing in the doorway waiting to be let in. 

“We’ve decided to prove Tobin wrong,” Carli declared as she stood front and center of the whole team. She smiled warmly at Alex, before handing over a book to the woman. “We all put our favorite memories of Tobin and kids in there for her. Most include pictures, some don’t. We know us saying things to her will only have so much effect, but her actually remembering her own memories and being able to turn to it whenever she needs? That’ll help her more,” Alex took the book gently. 

Opening the cover, Alex saw one of her favorite photos of Tobin with Ryan. Tobin had the young boy in her arms, their foreheads pressed together. Ryan had a marker in his hand and Tobin was clearly laughing, a fresh trail of color down her cheek.

Alex remembered the day like it was just yesterday. Tobin had been trying to get the young two year old to stop crying after she had told him he couldn’t have ice cream for dinner, even if he was aunty Toby’s favorite nephew. Tobin grabbed the first thing in sight to distract him with, not even thinking about handing the child Alex’s permanent marker. The kid was smart enough to know exactly how to uncap it and do what little kids do best; leave an imprint of where they were. Once Tobin realized what he had done she couldn’t help but laugh and kiss the boy’s nose, pressing their foreheads together. Ryan, now feeling much better about the outlook of his evening, smiled brightly back at his aunt.

The memory brought tears to Alex’s eyes. Of course their family would know exactly what to remind Tobin of when she was nervous about her future. She looked back up at her teammates and waved a hand toward her eyes, trying to chuckle.

“Sorry, pregnancy hormones,” she joked.

“There're well over twenty-three stories in there from us, to her,” Carli said and looked over to Abby who stepped up.

“And there is also well over twenty-three more stories in this one, from us to you,” she said, handing another book over. Alex took the book before ushering everyone in, she stopped Abby as the retired player passed and hugged her tightly. 

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough,” she said, tears falling as Abby chuckled.

“You will, one day. When that beautiful child is running around having a wonderful time with their loving parents, that’ll be enough for me.”

“What are you doing?” Tobin yelled from the living room. Alex chuckled, knowing that, by now, Ash and Kelley were with the woman and most likely picking on her. “Put me down!” she shouted again and Alex laughed harder.

“Come on, let’s go save your wife,” Abby smiled throwing an arm over Alex’s shoulders. When they walked into the living room they found Tobin over Ash’s shoulder and Kelley pinching her cheeks taking advantage of Tobin’s predicament.

“Ash, put her down,” Alex said softly and Ashlyn smiled before putting her friend down. She brushed Tobin’s shoulders off once she stood upright but Tobin shoved her away.

“What are you doing here?” Tobin asked laughing at Ash as she stumbled away before pulling the keeper into a hug.

“We got an S.O.S. message, so we got on a plane!” Ash said, ruffling Tobin’s hair, “heard you’re a bit afraid of fucking this kid all up.”

“I’m not scared,” Tobin pouted, looking at Alex. “I’m not scared,” she repeated and Alex walked over to her, wrapping a hand around the back of Tobin’s neck, stroking the soft hairs there. She pressed her forehead to Tobin’s feeling the woman relax in her arms. 

“It’s ok, I’m scared too,” she said softly. Tobin wrapped her arms around Alex, breathing in her wife’s scent, allowing it to calm her further, “I’m scared too Tobs, but we’re in this together.”

“It takes a village,” Christie said and the other women in the room nodded, “and we’ll be that village.”

“Yeah, Tobs. You are there for our kids, we’ll be there for yours,” Syd promised, her son hitched on her hip as she spoke. 

“And we’ll spoil them rotten,” Julie added.

“And we’ll babysit whenever,” Mallory said.

“I call babysitting gig,” Lindsey said prompting her and Mallory to start a staredown with each other. 

“If anyone gets babysitting gig, it’s aunt Pinoe!” 

“Psh, try aunt Morgan, we’ll share a name,” Moe said and Alex chuckled looking back at Tobin, cupping her cheek.

“All of you are wrong, aunt Christen will be watching the little bundle of joy, and will make sure they follow in the right mother’s footsteps becoming a forward!” Christen said and Alex grinned at her nodding. 

“See, we aren’t alone, and you aren’t going to screw our kid up,” Alex promised and Tobin kissed her softly.

“I guess not,” she replied. “We’re never going to let Pinoe babysit, right?” Tobin asked under her breath.

“Never,” Alex shook her head and Tobin chuckled. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alex loved that Tobin was so interested in keeping her and the baby as safe as possible— to a point. That point was when Tobin’s protective crusade ran afoul of their cat, Smudge.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” Alex said, setting her book down and looking across the room at Tobin, who had just walked in and blurted out her new found information.

“I asked, if you knew that cats aren’t the best for soon to be mothers?…” Tobin said quietly. She knew Alex had heard her by the tone she had used. Tobin, however, was going to at least attempt to stand her ground. Alex glared at Tobin before looking down at Smudge who stared back up at her, eyes narrowed as he purred in her lap. 

“And you’re telling me this why?” Alex asked, looking back at her wife, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“No reason,” Tobin gave in, she knew this was a mistake. 

Tobin walked over, sitting next to Alex and looking down at Smudge. It wasn’t that Tobin didn’t like the cat, hell, she loved him, but lately he had changed. He was now Alex’s constant companion; he never left her side. Whether it be at night, where he slept by her side; dinner, where he was on her feet; or even on the couch, where he would curl against her baby bump. And god forbid Tobin try and get near the woman. Smudge, who was by no means a small specimen, would hiss, swipe a paw at her, and puff himself up as large as he could until Alex would calm him back down and Tobin would settle on being near, but not close enough to touch her wife. 

“You’re jealous of the cat, you know this right?”

“I am not!” Tobin exclaimed. Smudge looked up at her, hissing, and Tobin sighed, “he hates me now.”

“He doesn’t, he’s just protective,”

“Alex, I feed him, he refuses to eat; I let him outside, he won’t budge; I try to give him treats and he hisses at me. The cat hates me.”

“Tobin, he is your cat. He doesn’t hate you.”

“He is not my cat,” Tobin glared at him, “if you’ll remember correctly, you wanted him, I just agreed.”

“Yes, but he spent his first year practically living in your hoodie with you. First, it was your pocket, then when he got too big, you carried him around inside your hoodie with his head poking out. You wanted to get that sweatshirt so that he could have his own pocket and you wouldn’t have to hold him.” Alex deadpanned as she scratched the back of Smudge’s head, the large cat purring loudly. 

“I didn’t even want him,” Tobin tried again and Alex laughed.

“No, but look how well that worked out for you.” 

“Yeah and now he hates me too.” 

“Smudge, do you hate Tobin?” Alex asked, looking down at the cat who stopped purring and looked over at Tobin. He meowed once before turning back to Alex. “He’s just protecting his little brother or sister,” Alex tried but Tobin pouted. 

“He won’t let me near you.” 

“I’ll protect you, come here,” Alex said lifting an arm up. Tobin inched closer while Smudge glared at her. He began to hiss but Alex tapped the top of his head. “Hey now, be nice to mommy,” she said and the cat relaxed but kept a close eye on Tobin. Tobin snuggled into Alex’s side, Alex wrapped an arm around Tobin, kissing the top of her head, “see? He’s fine.”

“Just wait, he’ll puke in my shoes or something,” Tobin said earning a laugh from Alex. 

x-x-x

Alex read quietly as Tobin slept next to her, the woman cuddled into her side. Soccer was ramping up to full swing again and it was taking a toll on Tobin. She was coming home every evening, barely dragging herself to the nearest soft surface on which to sit and eventually fall asleep upon, and today had been no different. Alex laid next to her, running a hand through her still damp hair. She tried not to gasp when she felt a sharp kick, placing her hand that had been in Tobin’s hair over the spot the kick had been.

“Stop that right now, you’ll wake mommy,” she said, only to receive two more sharp, painful kicks. Alex groaned and looked over at Tobin who was staring back at her, the woman’s brown eyes filled with mirth.

“Everything alright there, Lex?”

“I swear, if this one isn’t a soccer player—” she was cut off as another jab was doled out to her. Tobin chuckled before shimmying her way down Alex’s body to her belly, she put a hand on either side of it before kissing gently where the last kick had been. 

“Hey little one,” she said warmly, “why don’t you give mama a break for a bit, hmm? You see, as much fun as you’re having, it’s causing mama to be in a little bit of pain,” Tobin explained as she looked up at Alex, her eyes filled with unshed tears and endless love, “so, just take it easy on her, ok?” Tobin asked before moving back over Alex and leaning down, kissing her. “I love you.” 

“I love you too Toby,” Alex smiled as Tobin pressed their foreheads together, her hand still on Alex’s baby bump. She chuckled when the baby kicked again against her hand. 

“Love you too little one.”

x-x-x

“So, according to this our baby now has their eyes open and can see,” Alex explained, reading a book that their doctor said would be good for them to pick up. 

“Not much to see,” Tobin raised an eyebrow over at Alex who chuckled. 

“Well, it also says they’ll track a flashlight,” Alex replied and now both of Tobin’s eyebrow were high.

“Really?” she jumped up and scampered  away. 

“Tobs, where are you going?”

“Do we have a flashlight?” 

“On the headboard,” Alex said and Tobin came back a few minutes later, flashlight in hand. Alex laughed as Tobin knelt by her and looked up at her imploringly. “Well, you fetched it so I might as well let you,” she chuckled. Tobin leaned up and kissed her lightly. 

“Why don’t you do it? I don’t want to hurt you at all,” Tobin said and Alex cupped her cheek. 

“You could never hurt me, Toby,” Alex promised, pulling her wife back in for one more kiss before snatching the flashlight away from her and clicking it on. She placed the light against her stomach and a tiny handprint appeared where the light was shining. Alex smiled and looked up at Tobin who was grinning. She moved the flashlight slowly, the hand tracked against her, following after the light. She couldn’t help but laugh; Tobin was watching in awe as the hand moved steadily across her stomach. Tobin scrambled onto the couch next to Alex watching still. She wrapped her arms around Alex kissing her temple. 

“That’s our kid,” Tobin said softly and Alex smiled.

“Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, feedback of any kind is welcome! Hope you enjoyed.  
> (Late edit) Any guesses to if the baby is a boy or girl?


	3. Chapter 3

“Ali, we aren’t sure if we want to know,” Alex said. She and Tobin were seated across from Ali and Ash as they talked about the upcoming baby shower.

“I’m sorry you… what?” 

“We don’t want to know,” Alex said, a bit more firmly, and Ash looked at Tobin who just shrugged. 

“I’m going with whatever she says,” Tobin said, “you know how it is.” 

“Alex, think about this. This’ll make everything so much more difficult for everyone. People won’t want to pick out a blanket and clothes, if they don’t know what they’re buying for. You’re passing up a ridiculous amount of free baby clothes!” Ali said like it was the end of the world and Alex sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“I just... I’m not sure. I like the idea of them being a surprise,” she smiled, running a hand across the baby bump. 

“Aww, come on Ali, at least that’s the kind of surprise they can get,” Ash said and Ali rolled her eyes at her. 

“Hey, you never know Ash,” Tobin said raising an eyebrow at the blonde. 

“Fine, first of us to knock up our wives without help—” Ash was cut off by Ali smacking her arm and Alex smacking Tobin’s.

“Stop being children,” Ali said hitting Ash’s arm over and over. Ash laughed and grabbed Ali’s hands, pulling them up to kiss both of them. 

“You married it,” she reminded her and Ali glared at her.

“And I can still divorce it,” Ali warned darkly and Ash paled then looked at Tobin. 

“God Tobin, stop being a child,” Ash said and Tobin just smiled back at her. 

“How about I think about it?” Alex offered and Ali smiled back with a nod.

“Now, onto something much more important. Godparents.” Ali said and Alex’s eyes went wide. Tobin just chuckled and kissed her cheek, before turning to Ali with a smirk.

“Excellent idea. Now I think the obvious choice here is Hope and—” Tobin had to hold back her laughter as she was cut off by a wadded-up napkin bouncing off her face.

x-x-x

“Toby?” Alex said softly after a few minutes after curling up in bed together.

“What’s up Lex?” she asked quietly, trying to keep her eyes open.

“Do you want to know?”

“Know what?” Tobin asked, confused, and Alex chuckled. She sat up and looked over at Tobin who looked up at her, doe-eyed, “know what, babe?” she asked again.

“If it’s a boy or a girl?” Alex said and Tobin sat up, wrapping her arms around Alex. 

“I want whatever you want Lex, we’re a team on this.”

“Tobs, I’m serious, I want to know…”

“Lex, so am I. Sure, I’d love to know, it’d give me the chance to paint their room and pick out the most ridiculous clothes for them. All of that can wait though,” Tobin nuzzled Alex’s neck. 

“I think we should find out,” Alex whispered and Tobin kissed her neck. 

“Babe, whatever you want.”

“I want to know if you’ll be painting their room with pink or blue soccer balls,” Alex smiled, she could feel Tobin’s expression change against her neck.

“Lex, I think you have too much faith in my abilities,” Alex laughed and turned kissing her.

x-x-x

Tobin held Alex’s hand as they waited for the information back on the early tests they had done. The doctor stood there humming to himself as he went over everything.

“I don’t see anything out of the norm,” he flipped through the last few pages before looking up at the couple, “I was going to say I’d like to run one last blood test to check that everything is alright with you, but I can see that Dawn ran the same test two days ago and it’s all clear.”

“Yeah, Dawn’s keeping a very close eye on her,” Tobin chuckled, more than slightly relieved that nothing was wrong with their child. 

“That certainly makes my job easier,” he gave them a soft smile, “now, last important question. Do you want to know the sex of your baby?”

“Lex?” Tobin asked looking down at Alex. 

“Yes, please,” Alex smiled and Tobin grinned, nodding.

“Alright then,” the doctor smiled as he prepped everything. “I was told earlier that a couple picked me for their third child when they found out we warm our ultrasound gel,” he chuckled, “glad to know my credentials didn’t matter at all,” he said turning back to the two, who looked guilty. 

“Well, Amy did say you were the best…” Tobin tried to explain.

“I think it would be best if we just all ignored what was just said,” he said and Alex gave him another guilty smile. 

“It was an important quality, but we chose you because you’ve worked with a lot of our teammates. I trusted you to take care of our baby,” Alex said as the man gave her a look. 

“Well, would you look at that, your little one is being very photogenic today,” the man smiled, snapping some screenshots of the ultrasound, “you are certain you want to know? Wouldn’t want to cause any wrinkles.”

“Yes,” Alex said and the man smiled brightly looking up at Tobin. 

“You two are having a very happy, healthy, baby boy,” he said and Tobin beamed at Alex, who started to tear up, “I’ll print these off for you and you’ll be good to go,” he said as she put everything back and walked out. Tobin picked up the washcloth the nurse had left them and carefully cleaned off the gel along Alex’s stomach, grinning.

“We’re having a boy,” she said beaming, leaning up to kiss Alex.

“A boy,” Alex repeated, tears falling down her cheeks, “a healthy boy.”

“Oh, Lex don’t cry,” Tobin said, she quickly climbed next to Alex on the exam table and wrapped her into her arms, “it’s ok.”

“I’m so damn happy. Stupid hormones,” Alex complained, burying her face in Tobin’s neck. 

“So, you said something about blue soccer balls?” Tobin asked and Alex chuckled.

“Mal said in exchange for surfing lessons, she’ll help decorate the room.”

“Oh, I thought you had faith in my abilities?” Tobin teased and Alex kissed her. 

“We could always have a drawing contest between the two of you,” Alex offered.

“Looks like Mal is gonna learn to surf soon,” Tobin said, smiling as Alex pulled her into another kiss.

x-x-x

Alex laid with her head against Tobin’s stomach as the woman flipped through a book of baby names. Their due date was quickly approaching and neither could settle on a name. The top contenders kept being turned down for one reason or another. Either they knew someone with the name, it was a teammate’s name, or they just flat out refused.

Dylan, Derek, Finn, Henrik, Zander; all had been proposed in the last ten minutes alone and all had been shot down.

“Pavel?” Tobin threw out smirking, earning a glare from Alex.

“Pavel? Our child isn’t going to be picked on because you want him to have a talented player’s name,” Alex said and Tobin chuckled.

“But he’s the Me of the hockey world?”

“Oh Tobin, you think highly of yourself huh?” Alex chuckled as Tobin pouted, “aw, you’re better than him,” she said and Tobin leaned down to kiss her.

“What about Sasha?” Tobin asked and Alex thought for a moment.

“Tell me about it?” she asked as Tobin ran a hand up and down her shoulder. 

“It means defender or helper of mankind. Of Russian origin. Came from Alexander.”

“Oh…” Alex spent a moment thinking about it, unsure, “I’m not sure that I want him to be named after me…”

“I like it, I’ll have two Alexes,” Tobin grinned and Alex laughed but added it to the very short list. 

“No promises,” Alex said and Tobin kissed her.

“It’ll grow on you.”

“Or in me,” Alex shot back and Tobin smiled into another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for hockey fans, I wrote the end a long time ago, way before Pavel announced his possible end in the league, and now I'm still not over it... (I'll never be over it)   
> For everyone else (including hockey fans) Please keep letting me know what you think. Excited it's a boy? Not excited? Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?


	4. Chapter 4

Tobin was glad that Alex stopped by the Thorns practice. She missed having her on the field, but it was a sacrifice they were both willing to make for their kid. Tobin jogged over to Alex, grabbing the towel that was next to her, and wiping her face off before kissing her wife. 

“Hey babe,” Tobin smiled. She knelt down on the bleachers, kissing Alex’s baby bump, “hey Sa—”

“Toby,” Alex cut her off, and Tobin groaned. They had made a deal that they wouldn’t tell anyone that they had picked a name out yet. 

“Hey little fella,” Tobin smiled again. Alex rolled her eyes at her but couldn’t help the smile as their boy started moving around. “Let me tell you about this practice. Your aunt Allie decided to try and sneak past me with the ball but you know as well as I do that she’s not a match for your mommy.”

“So humble, my Toby,” Alex said chuckling as she tucked Tobin’s flyaway hairs behind her ear. 

“Ignore her bud,” Tobin said and Alex laughed. “Now, that just wasn’t smart of Allie. She has to be smarter than that, especially since I got the ball and scored,” Tobin grinned and Alex pulled her up.

“Go shower big shot, we have to go to the store still.”

“Hang tight little man, mommy still has some stories for you today,” Tobin promised as she kissed Alex and followed the rest of the team toward the locker room. Alex smiled as Nadine walked over, sitting next to her.

“How do they look coach?” she asked and Nadine shook her head.

“Can you have the little one sooner, rather than later, so you can score for us?” Nadine asked, her thick accent and pleading tone making Alex laugh.

“Aw come on, they aren’t that bad.”

“Did you see Tobin’s goal? That was pure dumb luck.”

“Aw, my Toby is a great goal-getter,” Alex defended and Nadine laughed, shaking her head. 

“How are you doing mama?” 

“He’s active and won’t let me sleep most nights, but I’m excited. It’s coming up quick.”

“He’ll be here before you know it, then you’ll be too busy for anything else.”

“I’ll still visit,” Alex promised and Nadine grinned.

“You’d better. I can’t whip these kids into being mini me’s without you taking shots at them.”

“Trust me, I can’t wait to be back on the field, but doctor’s orders say both feet firmly on the ground. Not kicking anything,” Alex sighed and Nadine chuckled pulling her into a sideways hug. 

“He’ll be worth it Alex, just you wait and see.” 

Alex smiled, running a hand over her baby bump, “I can’t wait.”

“Hey Lex, coach,” Tobin greeted as she walked up, freshly showered and changed into board shorts, a cut off tee, and her PDX snapback. “Ready?” she asked and Alex nodded, taking Tobin’s hand to help her to her feet.

“Enjoy your evening ladies,” Nadine said as they walked away, Tobin keeping their hands laced together. 

“Ok, so store, right?” Tobin asked as she got into the car.

“Yup,” Alex smiled, letting her eyes slide shut as Tobin drove to their store, listening to Tobin hum along with the radio. She groaned when she felt the car being put into park. 

“We can’t be there already,” she whined.

“Sorry babe,” Tobin said and Alex huffed but got out of the car. Tobin followed her closely, knowing Alex wouldn’t want to be there long. Grabbing a cart and starting her trek up and down the aisles, Alex tossed what they needed into the cart. She stopped at the pasta, looking for the type she needed. When she knocked a box off the shelf, she growled and Tobin tried not to laugh as she reached for it.

“Don’t touch it,” Alex snapped and Tobin shot up, giving Alex a confused look, “it insulted me! It can stay down there.”

“Lex, it’s a box of pasta—”

“It’s dead to me Tobin,” Alex snapped again and Tobin rolled her eyes, reaching for it again. “Tobin! Dead. To. Me!” 

“Alright, Lex, I’m just gonna put it back.”

“No. It can stay there shamed on the floor,” Alex growled and Tobin tried so hard not to laugh at her wife. 

“Ok Lex,” she said, grabbing another box for her wife and setting it in the cart. Once Alex was a few feet down the row, Tobin picked the box up, quickly pulling out the sharpie that she had been carrying since Alex had taken to wearing pocketless leggings. She quickly scrawled on the box before taking a picture of it and posting it to her Instagram. She made sure the box was back on the shelf before jogging back to Alex’s side, wrapping an arm around her.

“You put it back,” Alex huffed and Tobin laughed.

“It’s just pasta, Lex.”

“Evil, dead to me, pasta.”

“It’ll find a loving home, I’m sure of it,” Tobin said and Alex glared at her. A ping drew her attention to her phone, leaving Tobin to find pop-tarts. 

“Babe?” Alex asked looking at Tobin as the woman scoured the shelves.

“Hmmm?”

“You seriously put ‘this box of pasta is dead to Alex Morgan’ on that box?” Alex asked and Tobin tensed before peeking over her shoulder to look at her wife.

“Maybe?”

“That’s your signature under it,” Alex pointed out, shoving the phone under Tobin’s nose.

“It sure does look like mine, but see I loop my—”

“Tobin Powell Heath.”

“It’ll make someone really happy one day?” Tobin said and Alex finally broke and laughed. She pulled Tobin as close as she could, kissing her. 

“If it hits the ground it’s dead to me,” Alex said, clarifying the new rule.

“Ok, note to self, don’t ever drop the baby.”

“I thought I never would’ve had to even say that as a rule!” Alex groaned as Tobin grinned at her. 

x-x-x

“I think Ash was more excited than me about knowing it was a boy,” Ali chuckled as she sat down next to them, “she basically planned the whole party with Hope and Alyssa in about two hours. It was really cute.” Ali smiled as she watched Ash and Kelley talking adamantly with JJ and Christen. “Though, of course everything had to be checked over by every single person on our teams, and both families, and oh, did it ever get chaotic when those keepers dug their heels in.”

“Well, I’m glad they did. They did a great job,” Alex said. 

The shower had come together like clockwork. They had rented a hall in Portland, Hope having done most of the footwork to find local places that were suitable, enlisting the help of Sonnet and Hinkle. They had found both the hall and as well as a fantastic local caterer. Lindsey had taken it upon herself to find the best bakery in the city, quietly obtaining Alex and Tobin’s assistance in the matter. Ash, Crystal, Alyssa, Ali and Whitney all worked on the invitations together, crafting each one by hand. Syd, Lauren and Amy had flown out and helped Alex and Tobin create a perfect registry, pointing out things that they would have overlooked normally. JJ and Christen, under the careful supervision of Cap, created the games they would play. All in all, every team member had had a hand in the preparations

“They did, I’m proud of them,” Ali beamed and Alex laughed. 

“Yours is growing up!” she joked and Ali laughed but nodded. 

“She sure is,” Ali smiled proudly before promptly dropping her face into her hand as Ash and Kelley started arguing over who was the better aunt. “Ok, maybe not that much.”

“That’s ok, we don’t want them to be grown up completely. It’s a reason we fell in love with them,” Alex smiled. She watched as Tobin held up a finger, pausing her conversation with JJ and Christen, to assert that she, in fact, was the best aunt to Ash and Kelley, before picking right back up with the younger players. 

“You two are going to be great moms,” Ali said and Alex refocused on Ali.

“Yeah?”

“Ali’s right,” Abby sat down, smiling at Alex. 

“Hey, you made it,” Alex beamed, hugging the older woman.

“Of course I made it. You couldn’t keep me away from something this important,” Abby grinned, “anyways, someone here needs to keep everyone in line.”

“That’s why Christie is here,” Ali snorted earning a hard look from Abby.

“Oh come on Abs. You know for a fact you’re one of the wildest of all of us,” Alex said and Abby chuckled before nodding.

“True, but watch it, Kreiger.”

“Hey Abby,” Tobin said walking up, she put a hand on Alex’s shoulder, causing the forward to look up at her, “you doing ok Lex? Want anything?” 

“I’m good,” Alex promised, tugging Tobin down into a kiss. 

“Isn’t there a rule about how you aren’t supposed to be here?” Abby asked and Tobin shook her head.

“If you think for one second I wouldn’t be here to celebrate the upcoming birth of my child, you’re insane,” Tobin said and Abby smiled. 

“Good, it wouldn’t be the same here without you,” Abby smiled, “plus I’m pretty sure when you two are apart for more than an hour, you get homesick.”

“It was one time!” Alex whined as Tobin kissed her jaw. 

“Aw babe, once is all it takes for these idiots,” Tobin chuckled. The one time Tobin had elected to stay back at the hotel when everyone else had gone to the bar lead to the other half of the newly married couple getting nauseous a little more than an hour after parting ways. 

“Be nice to her Abs,” Ali said, “she wasn’t the only one who got sick that night. We ate something bad.”

“Sure, give her excuses,” Abby smirked, “I still remember carrying your butt all the way back to the hotel, but the moment you saw Tobin, you magically could walk the three steps needed to curl up in bed with her.”

“Hey, to be fair we did spend that whole night in the bathroom,” Tobin pointed out.

“Yeah, don’t you remember the next morning? Alex sent us all a photo of Tobin, fast asleep in the makeshift bed she had made for Alex. She’d pulled all of the covers off the bed and stayed up with poor Baby Horse all night, comforting her,” Ali said, swooning over what Tobin had been nice enough to do for her.

“Woah now, do we not remember what I did for you, princess?” Ash asked as she plopped down next to Ali.

“I do, stud, trust me I do,” Ali dropped her head to Ash’s shoulder, playing with Ash’s hand, “you stayed with me the whole night too. Once I was done being sick, you set me up in the bed with a trash can, just in case, as well as meds and water. You spent the rest of the night cuddling me and rubbing my back.”

“Till you elbowed me away from you cause you were too hot,” Ash said and Tobin laughed. She remembered that night and the next morning when Ash showed off her blackened ribs. Dawn made her get x-rays down just to be sure they weren’t broken.

“Are we talking about the night in Nashville?” Kelley asked, sitting on Hope’s lap once the keeper had found a seat while the rest of the team slowly filled in around the table. 

“Oh man, that wasn’t a fun night,” JJ chuckled. “How many of us got sick?”

“Eighteen out of twenty-three, and man was Dawn pissed that none of us went to her that night,” Heather said. 

“You couldn’t take any of that blame,” Shannon said, “you were the worst out of everyone. First to get sick and last to get over it.”

“And you are still the best roomie, ever, for taking care of me!” Heather grinned. 

“I had no idea someone could get that sick.”

“Alright, alright, we’re making my poor Lex green,” Tobin said. 

“Awesome, we can do gifts now!” Ash said excitedly.

Ash got Becky and Lindsey to help her with moving gifts over to Alex and away once they had been opened. Soon Alex was surrounded by the items from their list, including a car seat, stroller, high-chair, the rocking chair from Tobin’s grandmother, and more. They had piles of books and clothes, and more than a few blankets. Alex couldn’t help but laugh at the shirt Ash had gotten the boy; it had a shark on it and said ‘keep calm, and swim fast’. She’d even bought a book called ‘Nugget and Fang’ and a stuffed shark to go along with it.

“So, this is from both Dawn and I,” Christie explained, smiling at Alex, “we finally found a way to get back at you guys for calling us mom,” she chuckled as Alex opened the package. It was an outfit with a duck on the front and a little duck butt on the back. Nestled inside was a book ‘Make Way For Ducklings’ and a blanket with ducks on it. “We figured if we were mothers, you must be our ducklings,” Christie smiled and Alex gave her a watery smile back.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t cry,” Alex grumbled, taking the tissue Tobin handed her, “and you guys made it too hard to keep that promise.” 

“Yeah well, we had a bet,” Hope winked at her and Alex laughed.

“Alright, everyone pay up,” Alex said and her jaw dropped when Tobin pulled her own wallet out. “Tobs!”

“Oh no babe, I’m collecting,” she smirked as a number of their friends and family handed over cash, “totally getting that crib we were looking at.” 

x-x-x

Tobin glared at Smudge as he yowled in front of the bathroom door. Ever since Alex had gotten up to shower, the cat had been yowling on the other side of the door. Tobin had warned him, Alex had scolded him, but nothing stopped the cat. Tobin, finally annoyed with him, stalked across the room. 

“Smudge! Stop!” she demanded as the bathroom door opened and Alex glared down at the cat, who instantly started rubbing against her legs. 

“I can’t have 20 minutes of peace, Smudge? Really?” Alex snapped at the cat, both Tobin and Smudge staring back up at her. Tobin scooped the cat up in her arms and started moving slowly away from Alex.

“I think you made her mad,” Tobin said quietly as they walked away, the cat settling down into her arms for the first time in a long time. 

“Tobs…” Alex said almost painfully and Tobin spun around, facing her again.

“Lex?” Tobin let Smudge jump out of her arms and she ran over to Alex’s side, putting her hand on Alex’s back, “Lex, what’s wrong?” 

“I think you should get the baby bag,” Alex said through gritted teeth. Tobin’s eyes shot wide and she nodded, running to the closet. She grabbed the bag they had made ready for the hospital and made her way back over to Alex, wrapping an arm around her. 

“You ok?” Tobin asked as they walked out of their house toward the car.

“No.”  

“You’ll be ok.”

“Tobin, get me to the damn hospital,” Alex warned and Tobin chuckled, kissing her temple.

“Ready to welcome our baby into the world?” Tobin asked once they were both settled into the car. Alex looked over at Tobin and nodded.

“Not scared anymore?” Alex asked.

“Not scared anymore,” Tobin smiled, leaning over and kissing Alex. 

She popped the car into gear and started off to the hospital, to meet her son for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Also fair warning I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow or not, I won't be home, I'm hoping to be able to but no promises.


	5. Chapter 5

Sasha was born on a stormy day. He came into the world trying to drown out the thunder with his own cries. His eyes matched his mother’s as he wailed in the nurse’s arms before gently being settled into Tobin’s. 

“Hey there little buddy,” Tobin said. His blue eyes looked up at her and he stopped crying. “There you go, you don’t have to cry anymore,” she promised him and the boy let out a yawn as Tobin carried him over to Alex, sitting on the edge of the bed with him. 

Alex had tears in her eyes. It had not been that long ago that she and their friends had spent a lot of their time trying to convince Tobin she would be a great mother and they hadn’t been wrong. Tobin placed the small boy into Alex’s arms, the woman crying at seeing the boy stare up at her, her own eyes looking back at her. 

“Hello Sasha. God, are we happy to meet you,” Alex said kissing his forehead. Alex moved over so Tobin could lay down on the bed next to her, their boy in-between them. The small family stayed that way even after Alex and Sasha had fallen asleep, Tobin staying awake keeping watch over the most precious things in her life.

x-x-x

Alex woke up to an empty bed. She groaned and got up, knowing that Sasha hadn’t woken Tobin up but that didn’t mean that Tobin hadn’t woken him up. At this rate, he’d never learn to sleep through the night. She padded down the hallway to where their boy’s room was and, sure enough, Tobin was standing over top of his crib watching him sleep.

“Tobs,” Alex whispered and Tobin looked over at her, not moving. Alex rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile. She walked over to Tobin wrapping her arms tightly around the woman’s waist, “if you wake him up, I swear to god...” 

“He looks so tiny, and peaceful,” Tobin said in awe. Alex chuckled, kissing the back of Tobin’s shoulder.

“He’s a baby. That’s how they’re supposed to look,” Alex said and Tobin turned around, kissing her. 

“I can’t explain how much I love him,” Tobin said and Alex chuckled, pulling her out of the room. 

“I know.”

A small cry floated out of the room behind them and Alex could only smile at the sudden absence of her wife from her embrace. Tobin was standing at the crib with Sasha in her arms, the young boy’s eyes still closed as his mother rocked him back to sleep. “He’s got you wrapped perfectly around his finger.” 

“Just like his mama,” Tobin said back and Alex smiled kissing Tobin. 

Alex rubbed the infant’s back. “Ok big guy, back to bed for you, no matter what mom says,” she said and Tobin pouted but went and laid him back in his crib. She walked back over to Alex, the forward wrapping her arms around Tobin as the watched him sleep from the doorway.

“I love you, Lex,” Tobin said her eyes not leaving the child across the room. Alex kissed the top of Tobin’s shoulder. 

“I love you too, Toby,”

“I’m so grateful, for all of this,” she said and she could feel Alex smile against her shoulder, “there’s nothing more I could ask for.” She turned in the woman’s arms, picking her up; Alex locked her legs around Tobin’s waist. 

“I know the feeling,” Alex grinned, pressing their foreheads together as Tobin walked them back to their bed. 

x-x-x

Tobin woke up, moving to pull Alex closer to her but she couldn’t find her wife when she stretched her arms out. Tobin rolled back over and noticed the alarm clock read 3:30 in the morning. Most nights, Sasha would wake up at two begging for a feeding, his sharp cries filling the night calm. Normally, whoever got up would be gone no more than twenty minutes. So Tobin stretched herself out again, pulling her sore muscles trying to get them to loosen up. Soccer was taking its toll on her overly tired body. 

Swinging her legs off the side of the bed, Tobin started making her way toward Sasha’s room. She leaned against the door frame when she spotted Alex holding Sasha in their rocking chair, both fast asleep. Tobin smiled and went back to the bedroom to retrieve her phone to take a picture of the two before setting it down on Sasha’s dresser and walking over to them. Tobin gently put a hand on Sasha’s back she leaned down in front of Alex and spoke softly.

“Lex,” she ran her other hand down Alex’s cheek, “baby, you gotta wake up and come back to bed,” Tobin smiled as Alex slowly woke up. 

“Toby?” She asked stifling a yawn.

“Hey baby, you fell asleep with Sash in the chair,” Tobin said, cupping Alex’s cheek, “I’ll put him back to bed. Why don’t you go to ours?” Tobin asked and Alex nodded, allowing Tobin to take their son from her. 

“Night my sweet boy,” Alex said, kissing his head before shuffling out of the room. Tobin rocked Sasha as she walked over to the crib, his eyes cracking opening for barely a moment. He yawned, his little arms stretching over his head as he curled closer to Tobin. 

“Good night Sash,” Tobin said laying him down, his eyes opened again looking right up at Tobin before he allowed sleep to overtake him, stretching once more, leaving his arms over his head. Tobin turned the dim light they had in his room off and checked that the monitor was still on before walking back to the bedroom. She crawled into the bed next to Alex whom she figured was already back asleep, but as soon as she was settled, Alex was spooning her back, pulling her as close as possible.

“That rocking chair, from your grandma, is the best thing in the world,” Alex mumbled into Tobin’s neck, kissing it before allowing sleep to consume her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but you've now met Sasha! :D Like the name? Hate the name? Thinking what the hell kind of name is that (I did this one, but it stuck.) Thoughts? Good or bad?


	6. Chapter 6

Sasha’s first soccer game just so happened to be Tobin’s first back with the National Team after his birth. The four-month-old was grumpy at first. He wanted no one but his mommy, who struggled to hold him while she went through her game day routine. By midday, the boy was more comfortable being around others, after having gotten passed around to every teammate. Jill had given Alex permission to be in the locker room and out on the field, away from the teams, but still on the field with them. 

“Nervous?” Ali asked Alex as the young striker watched Tobin getting ready. Sasha was stretching his arms out so Ali could hold him and Alex gratefully handed him over.

“No, I know she’ll do great. I just can’t wait to come back,” Alex admitted. She was so close. She was practicing with the team but wasn’t allowed to play yet. 

“Soon Alex, I bet the next game, they’ll clear you,” Ali promised, little Sasha playing with her necklace. 

“It’s been over a year,” Alex groaned and Ali laughed. 

“It’ll be soon,” she promised, “now, go take this little one and enjoy the game.” She handed Sasha back before rejoining Ash. Alex sighed and walked over to Tobin, the midfielder beaming at her as she approached. 

“Hey! My two favorite people,” Tobin said, pulling Alex into a kiss. 

“Offended,” Amy scoffed from a few spots down and Alex relaxed, laughing a bit.

“You ready babe?” Alex asked and Tobin grinned.

“Yeah, I’m super ready. First game my boy gets to watch just so happens to be the first game back with our family? Yeah, I can’t wait.”

“I wish I was out there with you,” Alex admitted and Tobin kissed her forehead. 

“Soon baby, I promise you. If Jill didn’t already have 23 players on the roster it would have been you,” Tobin said firmly; she honestly believed that deep in her soul. 

“Soon,” Alex said, smiling as Sasha latched onto Tobin's shirt. Tobin smiled down at him, picking him up and lifting him over her head.

“You ready to watch mommy play bud?” she asked and the boy giggled, reaching for her face. Tobin swept him back down so he was cradled into her chest again, before pulling Alex into her side. She kissed Alex’s temple then the top of Sasha’s head, “I couldn’t ask for any more.” Alex smiled and kissed her.

“And I couldn’t ask for any better,” Alex said, before reluctantly taking Sasha back and carrying him out to the seats that had been saved for them. 

“I got this,” Tobin said, more to herself than anyone else. She didn’t even hear Christen walk up.

“Tobin?” she said, causing her to jump, “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” she added, the two of them laughing it off.

“It’s ok Chris,” Tobin grinned.

“I wanted to show you this,” the forward grinned; she had been able to snap a photo of the small family. Sasha was cradled in one of Tobin’s arms while the other was around Alex. Tobin and Alex were smiling at Sasha who was staring back at them. 

“Can you send that to me?” Tobin asked, grabbing her phone. 

“Yeah,” Christen smiled as Tobin typed something out quickly on her phone. A minute later, Christen looked at her phone and smiled as she was tagged in the photo with the caption ‘Couldn’t ask for better, photo credit to Press.’ Christen smiled at Tobin as they lined up. They started out toward the field, Tobin waving to Alex and Sasha as she went by them. 

“Look Sash, there’s mommy!” Alex said excitedly the little boy wiggling all over in Alex’s lap as he saw his mother. 

x-x-x

Tobin was right, the next game Alex had been called upon to be a starter. She couldn’t contain her excitement, right up until the moment she had to hand Sasha over to her parents for them to watch during the game.

“Ok, I lied, I can’t,” Alex said, wrapping the now five-month-old in her arms. “I’ll sit out,” Alex told Jill who laughed and shook her head. 

“You need to face this sooner or later Baby Horse,” Jill reminded her and Alex groaned, “he’ll be right down on the pitch with us, safe and sound with your family.”

“Yeah Alex, better your family than the Heath clan,” Syd said poking fun, which wasn’t helping Alex in the least bit.

“Not funny Syd, The Heaths are some of the most capable caretakers I know,” Alex shot back and Syd backed up, not taking the tone from her friend lightly, “anyway, I remember your first game back. You sobbed when Dom took your boy.”

“Girls, stop,” Dawn warned and looked at Alex who pouted, kissing Sasha’s cheek once more before handing him over to her mother. 

“He’s in good care Alex, I raised you, didn’t I?” 

“Yes... but someone dropped me, and you still won’t say who,” Alex glared at her mother as the woman laughed.

“It was a joke love,” she kissed her daughter’s forehead, “go win.”

“Come on Lex,” Tobin said pulling her away.

“Don’t worry Alex. Your little man is out there repping his mommies with his little Heath/Morgan joint onesie, and it’ll be great,” Syd promised and Alex sighed, worrying her lip. 

Soon, they’d be out on the field together and Alex’s worries would be far from her mind. Her focus only broke once as the boy waved at her from his seat,  a tiny USA Soccer hat, brought by her father, sitting proudly on Sasha’s head. A picture of him with the hat on, playfully tugging at the brim with a smile on his face, was brought up on the jumbotron right at the start of halftime. Alex just smiled as Tobin hugged her tightly, telling her their son was destined for soccer greatness.  

x-x-x   
y-y-y

Amy and Lauren had warned them to baby proof the house.

“Do it before the kid comes, trust me on this one,” Amy had cautioned them over dinner.

“He'll move faster than you think, you'll never be ready for it” Lauren had added, gesturing with her fork for emphasis.

The warnings, however, had gone unheeded and when Sasha began to crawl, they barely had enough time and energy to keep ahead of him, to say nothing of safeguarding the house. He had an insatiable exploratory streak which quickly lead to their friends' lesson being learned the hard way.

The young boy had found and promptly stuck in his mouth, a tide wash pack. Almost immediately,  the boy started getting violently ill. So as Alex drove, Tobin sat in the back seat trying to comfort Sasha as he screamed between bouts of throwing up. Alex had insisted on driving, knowing that Tobin would be too anxious to drive safely. However, the louder Sasha’s cries got, the faster Alex would go. Her child was sick, and it was killing her. 

They pulled into the hospital and Alex barely had the car in park before Tobin had jumped out of it, running toward the ER. Alex was right behind her as Tobin got to the front desk. The nurse behind the counter looked up at them, noticing the boy in Tobin’s arms.

“Let me guess? Soap pack?” she asked smiling at Sasha who whimpered.

“Yeah, Tide,” Tobin answered and the woman nodded. 

“We’ll get him on some fluids. He’ll be ok,” she promised and lead them toward a room. “You’ll probably be here for a while. It’ll take some time to make sure he’ll be ok.”

“That’s fine,” Alex said wrapping an arm around Tobin’s waist. 

They ended up in the hospital for nearly six hours. While Sasha had stopped being sick soon after arriving, the doctors wanted him to stay there to make sure he hadn’t actually consumed anything hazardous. The boy wasn’t happy with being poked and prodded by the doctors but, with large amounts of cuddles from his mothers, allowed them to do whatever they needed to have done. By the end of their long day, they were all drained both physically and emotionally. When they walked back into their house, they found Hope and Kelley asleep on the couch together and their house finally baby proofed. 

x-x-x

Alex yawned as she carried Sasha, walking into a team meeting. She and Tobin were grateful that the team was so accommodating to the kids, but today she really would have preferred not to have an eight PM meeting. She positioned the nearly-one-year-old so he was facing the front, which really meant he was facing Kelley, who was playing peek-a-boo with him while Hope chuckled next to her. Alex could tell the keeper’s heart was melting at the sight and knew that the woman was debating retiring and starting a family with Kelley. So, when Hope pulled her phone out and started videotaping the interaction, she wasn’t shocked in the slightest. 

“Hey, sorry babe,” Tobin said, sitting next to Alex. She quickly kissed her temple and tickled Sasha’s tummy, “Hinkle wanted to know if I could work with her tomorrow on some things, so I’ll be up early.”

“But it’s our day off,” Alex whined and Tobin kissed her forehead quickly. 

“I’ll take Sash with us and you can sleep, how about that Lex?” Tobin asked and Alex smiled at the thought of extra sleep. 

“That wouldn’t be fair, you’re trying to help her. I can’t ask you to watch him.”

“Nonsense, I’m not ‘watching’ him,” Tobin said using air quotes, “he’s my son, I’m parenting. Plus, how far can he get in the middle of a soccer field?”

“Oh you’re in for it now,” Hope smirked, “you never jinx that shi—,” Hope stopped and looked between Kelley and Sasha, “—stuff.”

“Good catch,” Tobin said and Hope nodded, “but it’ll be fine, Lex, promise.”

“Awx,” Sasha said, shocking all four of the women.

“Did he just?” Kelley asked looking up at them. 

“Awex,” he giggled out again and Alex beamed.

“That was an ‘Alex’!” she said bouncing him on her legs, “that’s my boy.” She kissed his face.

“What’s going on?” Pinoe asked leaning across the chairs, they had gained the attention of the team.

“Sasha, who is this?” Tobin asked pointing at Alex.

“Awex!” he grinned and everyone awed at him. Tobin grinned brightly at Alex, kissing her.

“So, I owe you ten bucks,” Tobin said into the kiss.

“You two bet on this?” Kelley asked, shocked. 

“Heck yeah, whose name would he say first,” Alex said and Hope laughed.

“You were so shi— stuff outta luck there Tobin,” Hope said and Tobin grinned.

“I know. I’m ok with that though, they both bring me so much joy. Who cares about ten bucks?” Tobin smiled.

“If you don’t care about it, then I’ll just split the ice cream I was gonna split with you with Sasha instead,” Alex grinned and Tobin’s face fell.

“I care about that ten bucks, best ten bucks of my life,” Tobin said quickly following Alex as the woman shook her head, heading toward the hotel store.

“Nope, no ice cream for you,” Alex smirked.

“Aw come on babe. Sasha, can mommy have ice cream?”

“No!” The child shouted and Alex laughed. 

“I seriously need to work on yes,” Tobin grumbled. 

x-x-x

Tobin dragged herself into the house after a hard practice with the Thorns. All she wanted to do was curl up with Alex on the couch and sleep, and hopefully, Sasha would be tired enough to let it happen. 

The music filling the air however, told her differently. Tobin couldn’t help but smile as Thomas Rhett’s ‘Die a Happy Man’ filled the normally still house. She followed the music till coming across Alex in the living room as she danced around with Sasha in her arms. Tobin watched from the corner for a few moments, putting her finger to her lips to tell Sasha not to alert Alex to her presence. Alex was dancing, singing aloud to the song and Tobin knew she was smiling, just from how she was moving. Unable to ignore her wife anymore, Tobin walked over and wrapped her arms around Alex, pulling the woman back against her. She softly sang into Alex’s ear, kissing right under it. 

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Tobin asked kissing Alex.

“Not today,” Alex smiled into the kiss, laughing as Sasha whined to be put down.

“Mama! ew!” he said, giggling. Alex rolled her eyes but set the boy down so he could run away. Tobin took the chance and pulled Alex against her by her hips, kissing her.

“I love you so much. I’m pretty sure my heart tries to bust out of my chest every time I see you,” Tobin smiled resting her forehead against Alex’s. 

“Alright smooth talker,” Alex smiled back, “I love you too Toby.”

“Oh gosh, Sasha did you hear that? Mama loves me!” Tobin said dramatically, she rushed over to the boy, swooping him into her arms, “she loves me Sash! Mama loves me!” Tobin bounced the two of them around the room, the boy laughing.

“She loves you!” he said back as Alex leaned against the wall, laughing at their antics. “Does mama love me?” Sasha asked looking toward Alex, who was instantly off the wall pulling the young boy to her.

“Of course, mama loves you, my silly boy,” Alex said, kissing his face all over, “you’re my main man.”

“I love you too mama,” Sasha said cuddling into Alex, who ran a hand through his hair. Alex took Tobin’s hand in her own, pulling her closer and kissing the midfielder. 

“I love both of you,” she smiled as Tobin beamed at her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a loser for such a late update, but it's a pretty long one so I hope that helps. This one covers a lot of time Sasha goes from 4 months up to just about a year and a half. I added the 'official' chapter count its a what I'll call a rough number because I'm a jerk to my beta who counted it out and i will change shit around all the time, seriously ask how many times I said I was finished but changed my mind. So Comments? Thoughts? Things you adored? Little Sasha speaking!


	7. Chapter 7

Tobin thought that Sasha was special, not that every other parent didn’t think their kid was, but he was different. Most young children were afraid of storms as they rolled through, but he thrived on them. That first few raindrops hitting the windows or the low rumble of thunder far in the distance. He’d perk up, looking out the windows to watch the storms roll in. Alex wasn’t so convinced; she wasn’t much of a fan of storms herself and her son’s adventurous side toward them worried her. 

So, when she was woken in the middle of the night by a loud clap of thunder and went to curl closer to Tobin only to find the other side of the bed empty, she sighed. This was becoming a normal thing with her wife and their son; the 18-month-old had Tobin wrapped around his finger. Alex shuddered as another loud boom shook the house followed by the power going out. She would never understand their fascination with storms. Alex pulled herself out of the bed and pulled a pair of shorts on before padding down the hall, checking Sasha’s room. Finding it empty, she groaned. Of course, Tobin would have taken the boy outside. Alex grabbed her pull over before opening the front door and stepping outside next to Tobin who held Sasha as they watched the lightning streak across the sky. 

“Here you guys are,” Alex said softly and Tobin smiled over at her, wrapping an arm around her.

“Hey Lex, sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up,” Tobin said kissing Alex’s forehead. 

“It’s ok,” Alex said, snuggling into Tobin’s side. She ran a finger over Sasha’s face as he was enthralled with the storm. “How’s my sweet angel?” she asked and Tobin grinned.

“Enjoying the storm as much as ever,” she explained and Alex laughed, shaking her head. 

“You two, what will I do with you?”

“Let us be wild and free?” Tobin offered and Alex looked up at her, kissing her. 

“I’d never try and take that from you,” she promised and Tobin tightened her grip on her. She kissed the top of the striker’s head and led them over to the bench on the porch. They stayed there as a family watching the storm roll in, Sasha in Tobin’s lap and Alex snuggled into her side, trying not to let her fears show. 

“It’s ok Lex, I’m right here, I’ll protect you,” Tobin said trying to sooth her worrying wife. Alex couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face, she leaned closer to Tobin placing a kiss on her neck.

“I know you will, you always do,” Alex said. Tobin smiled contently. Sasha leaning back into her as they watched the storm progress and Alex snuggled in her side; she honestly couldn’t ask for a better evening. 

x-x-x

Alex should have figured that her rambunctious boy would have her equally rambunctious wife up early the morning after a storm to go out and explore the newly soaked earth. Shaking her head laughing, she grabbed a pair of rain boots that Tobin had insisted she get so all of them could match, and went outside to join them. 

“Mama!” Sasha squealed when he spotted her. He was already covered in mud as he charged toward Alex. She scooped him up, tossing him into the air before catching him safely in her arms again and planting kisses all over his face.

“Morning Sash,” she said and he laughed trying to wiggle out of her arms.

“Play with me?” he asked and Alex smiled, setting him back down. 

She watched as he ran toward a puddle and jumped in, soaking himself in the process. Sasha looked back at her expectantly and Alex chuckled before chasing after him, jumping in the puddle next to him. His laughs filled the air. Soon, the boy was jumping into as many puddles as he could, trying to get his mother's clothes soaked with the water. Tobin and Alex were doing the same back to the boy. Tobin showed him how to sweep his rainboot covered foot through a puddle to push the water with it. Sasha tried to perfect his movements while Tobin walked over to Alex and kicked water at her. Alex turned around raising an eyebrow at the woman who stood there smirking. Alex walked over to Tobin and wrapped her arms around the woman’s neck. 

“Morning Miss Heath,” she said and Tobin grinned back at her.

“Oh ma’am, I haven’t been Miss Heath for years. I’ve been a proud Mrs. Morgan since the day I married the most amazing woman in the world,” Tobin explained, placing her hands on Alex’s hips, pulling her close. 

“Then I guess for the sake of your wife, we should keep what we’ve been doing together quiet,”

“Well then, thank god it’s not my wife you’re sleeping with, I doubt she could ever be quiet,” Tobin smirked as Alex turned red but kissed her. 

“I can’t blame her, the things you do would have anyone unable to contain themselves,” Alex said nuzzling Tobin’s neck. The moment, however, was cut short as Alex shrieked and jumped as water soaked her back. She snapped around facing a giggling Sasha.

“Did I do good mommy?” he asked, looking toward Tobin for reassurance and Tobin grinned giving the boy a thumbs up.

“Better than good Sash, but now is the second part. Do you remember the second part?” she asked, watching Alex look between the two of them.

“Um… run?” his eyes went wide, “run!” he yelled before running away from Alex into the yard, his two year old legs moving as quick as they could. Tobin wrapped around Alex’s waist trying to give Sasha an extra head start.

“Go Sasha go!” Tobin yelled as Alex tried to fight her way out of Tobin’s grip. 

“I swear Tobs!” Alex said and Tobin laughed, releasing her. Tobin watched as Alex chased Sasha down, she hoisted the boy into her arms tickling his stomach, causing the boy to laugh and wiggle around in her arms. 

“Mama! Stop,” He said and Alex shook her head.

“Never!” 

“Mommy help!” he pled and Tobin chuckled before heading over to help the boy.

x-x-x

Of course, some of the mornings after a fresh rainstorm didn’t end as nicely as that day. This time, when it rained at a camp, she should have figured it would end the same way.

Alex woke up to another empty bed. She sighed but got up, rolling her shoulders trying to stretch them out. She walked over to the door looking out onto the courtyard where Sasha and Tobin were splashing in the puddles again. The two had the same routine every time it rained; they’d wake up early to go play in the fresh, rain-soaked world. Alex smiled as she watched them from the hotel window. She grabbed a pair of sweats, pulling them on to go join her family. By the time she got down there a few other members of the team had joined them. 

“Best kid ever!” Mccaffery said, smiling at Alex who laughed while watching her son chase after Mal. Alex didn’t hear Abby walk up beside her, nearly jumping out of her skin when an arm fell around her shoulders. 

“Hey kid,” Abby said and Alex smiled up at her mentor, “you did a great job with him.”

“He’s a wild one, but I love him. He’s so much like his mommy it's insane,” Alex beamed and Abby laughed. 

“Hate to break up the fun guys but breakfast, then practice. Now hurry up Sash! You don’t wanna miss the awesome puddles at the field!” Carli called out, walking out to the group. She looked over at Alex and Abby, smiling at them. Carli scooped the young boy up in her arms as he tried to run pass. “Come on, I’ll let you get extra waffles,” she promised him. 

“There is something about rain that just wakes him up,” Tobin said walking up to Alex and Abby, “normally he’s so sluggish in the morning.”

“Like someone else I know,” Alex said and Tobin laughed, pulling her wife close and kissing her.

“Sure Lex, I’m the one who hates mornings,” Tobin smirked. 

After breakfast, the team piled into the bus and were off to the practice fields. Alex kept an eye on Sasha while the team got ready. He was playing on the turf with Jill watching over him, the coach listening to him intently as he explained the little bugs and worms that he had found and put in a cup that Jill had gotten for him to collect them in. 

“Mama! Jill got me bugs!” Sasha grinned running over to his mother who picked him up. 

“Oh yeah? Did she tell you who loves bugs?”

“No!” 

“Aunt Abby loves bugs, especially worms,” Alex grinned and Jill rolled her eyes at the woman’s antics. Alex set the boy down and he quickly ran to check if he had a worm. Alex smiled when arms wrapped around her. 

“What kind of trouble are you getting our boy into Lex?” Tobin asked, kissing Alex’s neck.

“Just watch,” Alex smirked, watching as Sasha ran from Jill, holding what looked like the largest worm ever, over toward the team as they walked outta the locker room. Pinoe was the first to spot him and saw the worm in the boy’s hands, she looked up to Alex who smirked and the blonde quickly formulated her own plan. 

“Aunt Abby!” Sasha grinned as he saw his aunt walking out, the older woman smiled at him, ruffling his hair.

“Hey bud, what’s up?”

“Look what I got!” he grinned and opened his hands revealing the squirming worm, causing Abby to jump away, screaming. Sasha grinned, his aunt Jill told him Abby would play a game and run away so he would have to chase after her, he had no idea she was that fast though. Thankfully his other aunt, aunty Pinoe quickly picked him up and helped him chase after her. 

Soon everyone was out of breath, either from running, like Abby and Pinoe or laughing like most the rest of the team. Young Sasha ran back over to Alex, worm still in hand and grinned up at his mother.

“Did I do good?” He asked and Alex kissed his cheek. 

“Sure did bud,” She smiled. 

x-x-x

Alex walked into the living room only to find Sasha sitting sadly on the couch, the Ipad in his lap. Alex could hear one of the videos they had taken playing. She sat next to the boy pulling him close.

“Whatcha you doin bud?” 

“I don’t want you to go to camp,” He said pouting. Alex pulled the boy into her lap. 

“Why not buddy?”

“I want to stay home,” He said and Alex kissed the top of his head. 

“You want me to call grandma, have her watch you?”

“No, I want to stay with you guys,” He said slightly freaking out. 

“Hey, hey it’s ok. Sash it’s ok.” Alex said rocking the now crying boy back and forth. “Why are you so upset?”

“I’m scared.”

“Oh buddy, I promise you it’ll be just like every other camp, boring, filled with workouts, and your aunts freaking out over how cute you are,” Alex smiled kissing the boy’s nose. “I think I know what we can do to help, you wanna make cookies?”

“Ok,” He sniffed as Alex hooked him on her hip as she walked into the kitchen, pulling the things out of cabinets that she’d need. She set Sasha down on the counter as she started measuring things out, letting the boy dump them in the bowl. 

“Mama, can I lick the bowl?”

“When we’re done don’t I always let you?”

“You gave mommy some last time,” He accused and Alex laughed, kissing the tip of his nose. 

“Well we do have to share.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s nice?”

“Why?”

“Because everyone likes cookie dough.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s good?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s sugary?” 

“Why?”

“Why are you asking so many question little boy?” Alex asked and Sasha smiled.

“My job,” He said smugly and Alex laughed hugging him. 

“I smell cookies!” Tobin said as she walked into the house.

“Mommy!” Sasha said and jumped off the counter, he ran to the woman. Tobin picked him up and tossed him in the air.

“Are you and mama making cookies?” She asked and he nodded. Tobin walked into the kitchen with him, finding Alex leaning against the counter, Tobin set the boy down before placing a hand on either side of the woman, trapping her there. She leaned in and kissed her. 

“Welcome home babe,” Alex said wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck. 

“Cookies a day before camp?” 

“Well someone was a little upset and nothing turns a day around like fresh cookie dough,” Alex smiled and Tobin kissed her again. 

“Dawn will understand,” Tobin said and looked over to Sasha who had a spoonful of cookie dough that he was eating. She shook her head before grabbing the spoon lightly and leading it toward her mouth, Sasha protesting loudly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Thoughts? I can so see Tobin enjoying thunderstorms. Ok because I actually confused myself Sasha goes from 18 months just like 2 1/2 in this one. I seriously am still confused too... so don't hold me to that. Ok so tell me what you guys think!


	8. Chapter 8

Alex woke up feeling a little under the weather, but a camp right before qualifiers for the World Cup? She certainly wasn’t going to sit out. Alex crawled out of Tobin’s arms before leaning over the other bed to check on Sasha as he slept. Quietly, she walked into the bathroom, shutting the door before turning the light on. Digging through her toiletry bag, she tried to find some cold meds to dull the symptoms. She knew that ignoring the cold wasn’t her best plan of action but she hated sitting out, so she just kept quiet. 

“Lex?” Tobin said as she opened the door, stepping into the bathroom. She took one look at Alex before walking across the bathroom and putting a hand on the woman’s forehead. 

“I’m fine Tobin, I promise.” 

“Alex, you’ve been fighting this cold for two weeks now. You’re having a hard time breathing, and you keep coughing unless you have a lot of drugs in you. I know you don’t want to sit out but Lex, you have to take care of yourself,” Tobin explained, wrapping her arms around Alex, kissing her shoulder. “I need you to be healthy Lex.”

“I’ll be fine Tobs,” Alex promised turning her head to kiss her, “it’s just a cold.” 

“Sit out today, for me?” 

“Tobin...”

“Lex...”

“I’ll think about it.”

“At least keep it light.”

“That, I can do,” Alex smiled, kissing Tobin once more, “now come on, we need to get ready and get our boy up.” 

“Can’t we get another chunk of sleep?” Tobin asked and Alex let out a laugh before nodding. Tobin opened the door and spotted Sasha staring at the door waiting for them.

“Breakfast time?” he asked and Tobin sighed before nodding. She knew the hope for extra sleep was long gone now.

“Sure is bud, why don’t we get ready?” Tobin asked, walking over to him. She picked him up and carried him to the bathroom as Alex grabbed fresh clothes for the boy. The couple moved around getting ready for the day.

“Mama,” Sasha called out and Alex turned to look at the boy.

“Yeah Sash?” she asked and Sasha walked over to her, lifting his arms to be picked up. Once safely in her arms, he nuzzled into her neck. 

“Mama, can I sit with you today?” he asked and Tobin smiled. 

Sasha always sat with Tobin in the mornings. He wasn’t much of a morning person and Tobin would coddle him till he was fed and in a better mood. It wasn’t that Alex didn’t do the same but Tobin was his favorite in the mornings. Some of their friends thought there would be a hint of jealousy running through Alex at that fact, but instead, Alex felt she got the better end of the deal; Alex was the one he wanted to put him to bed. He’d allow only her to get him his water, put him into PJs and tuck him in, and he’d always pick a book out that she would read to him as they cuddled. Tobin could be there but she wasn’t ever allowed to read or help in any way. Her only role that she was allowed was to give him a goodnight kiss. 

“Of course little man, you can always sit with me,” Alex grinned and Tobin chuckled shaking her head. 

“Ready to go you two?” Tobin asked, grabbing their bags before turning toward them.

“Yeah!” Sasha said excitedly. Alex opened the door, allowing Tobin out first so she could shut the door behind her. As they walked down the hall, Tobin took Alex’s free hand, smiling at her as they walked. 

“Promise me,” Tobin said and Alex nodded.

“I promise,” Alex replied as they walked into the team breakfast. Tobin set their bags over with the rest of the team bags and followed her wife and son into the room, sliding up alongside Amy and Lauren.

“Breakfast! Best time of the mornings,” she grinned and Amy laughed. Lauren looked at Tobin then over toward Alex who was holding Sasha. 

“Everything ok?” Lauren asked once Tobin’s attention was off of her.

“Yeah, someone just wants his mama today,” Tobin smiled, looking over at the two, Sasha still snuggled against Alex as she prepared two plates for them. 

“It’s seriously not fair how cute that kid is Tobs,” Amy said.

“Oh come on, like your kids aren’t?” Tobin shot back and Amy scoffed.

“If you want to deal with their tantrums, feel free,” Amy laughed as they walked over to their normal table, Tobin sitting next to Alex and Sasha while Ali and Ash sat across from them with Amy and Lauren on one side and Hope and Kelley on the other. 

“Aw, look at that. Sasha’s spreading the love today,” Kelley awed at the little boy who gave her a shy smile. “Hope…”

“I know, I know,” Hope said back, knowing exactly what Kelley was going to say.

“Can we just steal him?” Kelley asked and Hope laughed, shaking her head.

“I doubt Alex would be up for that, and I think poor Tobin would be lost without her shadow.” 

“We’ll distract them somehow.”

“For years till they die? Cause they won't forget they had a kid Kells,” Hope chuckled.

“He’s certainly cute,” Ali said and Ash nodded, tearing off a piece of her chocolate chip muffin and handing it to the boy who had been staring at it. 

“Thanks, aunty Ash,” he grinned, excitedly biting the piece of muffin. 

“Really Ash?” Alex asked, glaring at her across the table, “sugar this early? He’s three. It’s like giving Kelley a Red Bull—”

“No!” Hope said rather loudly as Kelley’s head snapped up at her name, a grin plastered to her face.

“Just wait, next time we agree to babysit I’m feeding them pixy sticks,” Alex warned and Ash laughed.

“You wouldn’t dare; you’d have to deal with angry Princess Warrior here.”

“She can stay at our house while you wrangle the kids,” Alex said and Ali high fived her across the table. 

“We could do a spa day the next day!”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“How about in a few weeks? That weekend we’re in Portland, we’ll bring the kids along. It’ll be fun,” Ali suggested and Alex agreed.

“Sure, we’ll take the kids for a bit.”

“Alright kids, it’s time for practice,” Hope said getting everyone refocused on the task at hand. 

x-x-x

Tobin trotted up next to Alex, putting a hand on the woman’s back. 

“Lex, why don’t you take a moment to catch your breath?” Tobin asked. They’d had a hard practice and even though Alex did promise to take it easy, she couldn’t seem to catch her breath again. Alex tried waving her off but to no avail. The moment she lifted her arm up, she had to catch herself from tipping over. Tobin quickly wrapped an arm around her, holding her up. 

“Lex, this is it. I’m making you go see a doctor,” Tobin said sternly and Alex nodded slightly as Tobin walked her over toward Dawn, ready to explain what was going on. Before they got there, however, Alex had slumped against Tobin losing consciousness. 

“What the… Lex! Dawn!” Tobin shouted gaining the attention of the team and staff. Soon, Alex was being looked at by Dawn and an EMT, the team standing around trying to calm Tobin’s fears and their own. 

“We’re going to take her to the hospital, her lungs sound horrible,” Dawn said addressing Tobin, who nodded.

“She has a cold, but it’s not that bad,”

“Tobin, it’s that bad,” Dawn said and Tobin sighed.

“We’ll take Sasha. You go with her to the hospital,” Lauren said stepping up. Tobin gave her a grateful look before turning toward Jill.

“Go, practice is over. Too much excitement today,” she said and Tobin followed Dawn over toward the ambulance, climbing in she put a hand on Alex’s thigh as they drove toward the hospital. 

x-x-x

Tobin waited, and waited, and waited, for Alex to wake up. They had her hooked up to fluids and antibiotics and were monitoring her heart and lungs. The nurses told Tobin that they weren’t out of the woods but that her being in the hospital was good. 

“Hey Tobs,” Hope said as she walked in, taking a seat across the room from her, “how are you doing?”

“She’s still not awake, I don’t know what to do.”

“Just keep waiting, we know she’s a fighter,” Hope said and Tobin looked up at the keeper, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I should have made her get checked the minute she came down with this,” she said and Hope got up, crossing the room. She knelt in front of Tobin, placing a hand on her knee.

“You had no idea it was this bad, Tobin. We all know how Alex gets. She doesn’t complain about being sick, she just sucks it up and pushes too hard,” Hope said making sure Tobin was looking at her before adding, “this isn’t your fault.” 

“I’m scared,” Tobin said honestly and Hope nodded. She would be terrified too if it was Kelley in the bed instead of Alex. 

“I’m scared too Tobs, but keep your faith. Alex is strong, she’ll fight to come back to you and Sasha,” Hope said before getting up and sitting herself in the chair next to Tobin. She remained there with Tobin till Jill called and told her to return to the hotel. Dawn would switch with her so Tobin wouldn’t have to be alone. However, when Dawn arrived, Hope made it clear that she wouldn’t be leaving the couple. Dawn just nodded, not willing to take on an angry Hope Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? It's starting to get more interesting huh? You guys still aren't half way through this one yet. Let me know what you're thinking!


	9. Chapter 9

When Tobin woke up the next morning, it was to Alex running a hand through her hair. She slowly stretched her neck and sore back before looking up at her wife, slowly smiling.

“Morning,” Alex said.

“Hey beautiful,” Tobin said back, she leaned up and kissed Alex, “gave me a scare.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, but you need to promise to take better care of yourself, Lex.” 

“I know Tobs,” Alex scooted over, patting the bed, “come on, let’s get some real sleep.” She pulled Tobin up into the bed next to her. Tobin laid her head down on Alex’s shoulder, intertwining their hands together.

“Don’t push yourself that hard next time, you scared everyone,” Tobin said as Alex wrapped an arm around her. 

“I know. Hope sleeping in the chair next to you and Dawn in the corner, that pretty much told me how everyone was feeling about it,” Alex said and Tobin looked up. Seeing Hope and Dawn still there made her feel better but at the same time, much worse. If Dawn was posted here overnight with her, it meant whatever Alex had was serious.

“They love you.”

“They love us both,” Alex corrected, kissing the top of Tobin’s head, “now go back to sleep Toby.”

x-x-x

“It’s out of the question, he could catch any multitude of different colds and infections,” Alex said shaking her head. She understood why Tobin had brought up the idea that Sasha should come visit. It had been three days now since Alex had been brought to the hospital and the only plan the doctors had for her was to keep her on oxygen, fluids and medication, and then just watch and wait. After three days, she still wasn’t feeling much better and now they wouldn’t allow her to take the cold meds that she had been taking before that had actually made her feel better. 

“Lex, he misses you,” Tobin said strongly and Alex shook her head. She wasn’t about to risk her baby boy to infection just to see her.

“I’ll be out of here in a few days and he can see me then. I miss him too but there is too much here for him to pick up.” 

“Hospital policy is he can’t be in the room anyway,” Helen, Alex’s nurse since day one, said as she walked in, “kids carry germs, and Alex is too sick to be exposed to another potential infection.” Tobin groaned.

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” Tobin said and Helen shook her head.

“Oh no Tobin, I’m on my patient's side. I was only on your side that one night because she actually sleeps when you’re here,” Helen explained and Tobin huffed, turning back to Alex.

“He misses his mama.”

“I know.”

“He hates that you aren’t there to tuck him in and read to him.” 

“Why don’t you have him pick out a book tonight and we’ll video chat. Will that help?” Alex offered and Tobin narrowed her eyes at her for a moment before nodding. She sighed walking back over to Alex’s bed, picking up her hand.

“Only because Helen says he isn’t allowed in here,” she grumbled and Alex laughed, brushing the hair back from Tobin’s face. 

“I love you Tobin, even when you’re being stubborn,” she said kissing her forehead. 

x-x-x

“Ok Sash, this is the book you want mama to read?” Tobin asked as she settled onto the bed with the boy in her lap.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling and waving at Alex on the laptop screen, “hi mama!”

“Hi my sweet boy,” Alex smiled, “what book did you pick out for us tonight?” 

“Make Way For Duckies,” Sasha said, holding the book up as he snuggled back into Tobin. 

“That’s one of my favorites,” Alex smiled, watching her wife and son on the screen. 

“Me too mama,” he said as he handed Tobin the book for her to hold open. 

“Hey big boy. Is it ok if mommy reads some parts for you too?” Alex asked and Sasha looked up at her, his lip quivering for a moment, he nodded however. 

“You do my favorite parts?” he asked and Alex smiled. 

“Of course,” she promised. 

“You two ready?” Tobin asked, brushing Sasha’s hair back. 

“Yes mommy,” he said and Tobin opened the book starting to read out loud. She and Alex switched back and forth who was reading, Alex having read it enough times to the little boy to have it memorized. By the time she started her fourth turn she knew the boy would be fast asleep like always. 

“He’s asleep Toby,” Alex said softly and Tobin smiled down at him, kissing his forehead. She pulled the blanket up around him before turning back to Alex on the laptop.

“Give me thirty minutes to get washed up and have Lauren or Amy come watch him and I’ll be right there,” Tobin said and Alex shook her head.

“I’ll be asleep before you even get here, just stay there with our boy. You can visit me in the morning. Right now, he needs you more than I do.”

“Lex,” Tobin said, shaking her head. 

“Please Toby, I’ll see you in the morning. Promise.”

“Ok Lex, I love you.”

“I love you too, Toby. I love you and I love Sasha and I can’t wait to get home to you two.” 

Tobin smiled,“we love you too Lex.” 

“Good night Tobin.”

“See you in the morning, Lex,” Tobin said, watching as the stream cut off and Alex’s face froze on the screen. Tobin smiled and took a quick screen capture before closing the laptop. She shot a quick text to Lauren and Amy telling them that they wouldn’t be needed tonight. Setting her phone back down, she snuggled into Sasha, kissing the top of his head. 

“We love you baby boy,” Tobin said softly. “Don’t ever forget how much we love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok as always thoughts? Comments? Someone wanna drop me a line on how the fuck to start an econ paper on the equal pay for the team? Someone wanna write this thing for me before noon EST tomorrow?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I wanted to thank you guys so much, I wasn't expecting help on my paper but you guys offered it up anyway and came to my rescue so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Jill stood in front of the door. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door, changing this woman’s world forever.

“Why didn’t they call Tobin?” 

Jill started at the question. She hadn’t heard Hope walk up.

“They said they did but she didn’t answer.”

“Do you want me to do it?”

“No, I should,” Jill sighed and Hope stood next to her. It was still the middle of the night and you could hear a pin drop in the hall. 

“I’ll be right there with you,” Hope said and Jill nodded, finally knocking softly on the door. The two women didn’t realize they had stopped breathing. 

“What the heck…” Tobin asked as she opened the door. Seeing Jill and Hope standing there, her heart dropped into her stomach. 

“Tobin…” Jill said but Tobin was looking at Hope, she wouldn’t take her eyes off the woman.

“Tobs... “

“No... no, they would’ve called me,” Tobin said, heading back into her room and grabbing her phone. She had half a dozen missed calls. Hope lead Tobin back out of the room, away from a sleeping Sasha. 

“Tobs... I’m so sorry,” Hope said, tears starting to fall down her own cheeks. 

“She can’t be gone… she can’t be. She was just fine,” Tobin said, still in shock. She looked up, seeing Dawn walking toward her, “Dawn tell them, she is doing fine.”

“Tobin,” the woman said, hugging her tightly, gently patting the back of her head, “my sweet, sweet Tobin… Alex’s heart stopped. They tried bringing her back but it couldn’t be done.”

“No, it can’t be.”

“Tobin, I’m so sorry child. They tried… god, they tried, but she was so weak from the sickness…” Dawn explained as Tobin clutched onto her, sobs starting to rack her body. Dawn carefully lowered Tobin down to the floor, keeping her wrapped in her arms tightly. 

Drawn by the commotion, doors slowly started opening and teammates starting poking their heads out into the hall. Lauren opened the door of her and Amy’s room and walked out, quickly making her way down to the small group. Dawn shifted aside, allowing Lauren to scoop Tobin into her arms; the young midfielder sobbed into her friend’s shoulder. Soon, the whole team was in the hall. Everyone knew without a single word being said. They stayed out in the hall with Tobin, trying to comfort the woman as she cried her heart out through the night.

x-x-x

Tobin stood outside the hospital room, she hadn’t moved for over ten minutes now. This was the last place where Alex was living, where Alex was breathing… that was the last place where Alex had been, and she had been alone. 

Alex had slipped away in these stark white walls, in the most uncomfortable bed, and all alone. Tobin should have fought harder to be here with her. She shouldn’t have listened. She should have checked that her phone was turned up. 

“Ok Tobs,” Hope said, standing beside her. Tobin had asked Hope to come with her, knowing she’d need the support and entrusted Lauren with Sasha till she could return. She didn’t think she would be long, but then it took half an hour to get out of the car, another twenty minutes to get up to the room, and now ten more minutes, standing outside of the room. Hope had let Tobin take it at her own pace, knowing today would be the hardest day of her life. 

“I can’t,” Tobin choked out and Hope wrapped an arm around Tobin, leading her forward. 

“You can. I know you can, know why? Because you need to be strong for that little boy. I don’t know how hard this can possibly be, but I do know you aren’t alone. We are here for you Tobin, and we won’t leave your side. Not for one second.”

“I can’t do this Hope,” Tobin said again.

Tobin stood in the middle of the room. So many things had filled the room in the last few days, trying to make it more like home. Lauren had bought sheets for the bed, the kids bought her some movies, the vets had pulled together and got the hospital to provide Alex’s room with any sports channel she could dream of. Hope walked over to the side table, picking up the book of photos and stories that the team had put together for Alex. She smiled, running her hand over it as she turned to Tobin.

“I remember giving these to you guys,” she smiled, “you both were so in love, and so terrified of your future. Of that wonderful little boy,” that got Tobin to crack a smile.

“She took that everywhere with her. Would never let either of us forget that we were made to be parents to Sash,” Tobin said, tears welling up. “Let’s just get everything and go.”

“Ok Tobs,” Hope said, picking up the tablet Alex had been using. The screen lit up and Hope couldn’t stop the video from starting. 

_ My sweet Sasha. There are going to be some nights where mommy and I won’t be home to tuck you in, so I decided to help whoever is watching you out. This is your favorite book and mine and I hope you will enjoy this as much as I enjoyed making it. _

Hope tried to turn it off but Tobin gently pushed her hand away. She sat down on the bed, Hope sitting next to her. They listened to Alex read the book perfectly, her smile never leaving her face.

_ I hope as you get older, you understand why we can’t always be there with you, Sash. I hope you know that we kept playing for you, we kept working to provide you with, not only food on your plate and a roof over your head, but also family. Those women, those teammates, your aunts, they mean so much to us and they love you so much Sasha. If you ever need anything they will help you out. Now, close your eyes my sweet boy and go to sleep. Always remember, mommy and mama love you. _

Hope looked over at Tobin, unsure of what to do. Tobin stared at the tablet, the video turned off and went back to the desktop. 

“We should get back,” Tobin said and Hope nodded. She quickly grabbed the items they came for, knowing the hospital would pack everything else up for them. She stopped at the end of the bed, spotting Tobin’s UNC sweatshirt that Alex had claimed many years ago. She grabbed it before handing it over to Tobin. Freezing, she held it reverently as her eyes began to water once more.Burying her face into the sweatshirt,  she started sobbing into the fabric as Hope lead her out of the hospital.

x-x-x

Tobin watched Sasha play with Lauren and Amy’s kids. She sat across the room from them, trying to find the words to explain to her young son what happened. There was nothing she could say to the boy to make him understand, she knew that. 

“Do you want one of us there with you, Tobin?” Christen asked, kneeling next to her. Tobin shook her head.

“No, I should do this alone.”

“Come on Ryan, Jackie, let’s go,” Amy said calling her two kids over.

“Kip,” Lauren said and her son ran after them. “If you need anything,” Lauren said to Tobin as she passed.

“I know Chen,” Tobin said. She waited till the door clicked shut before walking over to Sasha as he sat on the floor still playing with the cars his ‘cousins’ had left behind. 

“Hi mommy,” he smiled at her, “you want to play?”

“Actually bub, I need to talk to you, ok?” 

“Ok mommy,” he said, still playing. Tobin slowly pushed his hand down till he was looking at her wondering why she had made him stop playing.

“It’s serious bud.”

“Oh,” he dropped the toy and sat down in front of Tobin, sitting crossed legged. He grinned up at her.

“Buddy, you know how mama was sick? She had to stay at the doctors?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… sometimes doctors can’t fix what is making us sick,” Tobin could feel the tears welling up her throat constricting. She tilted her head back, biting her lip as she tried to blink the tears away. She refocused back on Sasha after a moment, “the doctors couldn’t help mama buddy.” Tobin watched Sasha closely, realizing he didn’t understand. “Sash, do you remember what we taught you about God and Heaven?”

“That when people are old, or really sick, and they can’t fight… they go to Heaven with God and the angels,” he said proudly and Tobin gave a sad smile.

“Yeah buddy, that’s right. Well... mama went to Heaven to be with God.”

“When will she be back?”

“Oh Sasha…” Tobin’s voice broke and she pulled the toddler to her, “Mama won’t be coming back buddy. Mama was too sick, she… Sasha… mama died last night.”

“No she didn’t, she told me she loves me and to be good and be strong. That she’ll always be with me,” Sasha said quickly and Tobin’s breathing hitched.

“When did she tell you this buddy?”

“Last night, after she tucked us in. She promised she’d see me again.” Tears began welling up in Sasha’s eyes, “I want to see mama!” he shouted, wiggling out of Tobin’s arms, “where’s mama?!” 

“Sasha,” Tobin said but the little boy took off. He ran right out the door and through the lobby of the hotel. Tobin chased after him, trying to control her own emotions.

“Woah there bud,” Ash said, picking the boy up as he sped past her, “where are you going?”

“Where’s mama?” he sobbed and Ash’s face fell. She walked him over to one of the chairs in the lobby and sat down, the boy in her lap. 

“What did you mommy tell you sweetheart?” Ash asked and Sasha swiped at his eyes, trying to calm his sobs.

“That mama is with God, and she won’t be back.”

“Well Sasha… mommy was right. Mama is with God and won’t be coming back,” Ash explained and Sasha sniffled, his lower lip quivering. “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love you, or that she isn’t still with you every day though, ok? She will always love you, Sasha.”

“I want mama,” he whimpered, hugging Ashlyn tightly. She hugged him back, starting to cry herself. 

“I know buddy, I want her too,” Ash said holding the boy as they cried together. A few people passed by, watching the exchange, but soon the team moved in and blocked them from view. Tobin sat on the floor next to the chair the two were in and cried. Kelley sat down next to her, holding her tightly. They cried together, Tobin’s face buried into Kelley’s shoulder. 

“Ok gang, let’s go upstairs,” Dawn said coming over to the group.

She lead the group toward the elevators. Loading them up with players, sending Tobin, Sasha, Ash and Kelley up in one of the first ones. Soon, the whole team was settled into the shared room of Lauren and Amy, everyone remaining quiet, unsure of what to do or say. Everyone had tears running down their cheeks; some were openly crying while others stood in stilted silence. Ash fussed over Sasha with Ali, while Carli walked over to Tobin. The older woman sat down next to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and just held her. They sat there, not saying a word as the reality sunk in.

Alex Morgan wasn’t coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I know this was a tough one (I still have no clue how I wrote it). I have feels boxes for anyone who needs one. Blanket, teddy bear, tissues, chocolate and a few other useful things to help get you guys through. Stay with me on this guys. Act II has begun.


	11. Chapter 11

Tobin couldn’t believe how much the team had taken charge of for Alex’s funeral. The whole team, current and retired players, pulled together to plan the funeral. US Soccer paid for everything, stating she passed away on the job.

Ali and Ash had taken Sasha out to get him a new suit. All of his aunts had spent time with Sasha over the week, trying to keep Tobin’s mind clear of extra worry. Hope and Carli set up the service, dealing out who would say what prayers at the church and who would say something graveside. Kelley, JJ, and Christen had gotten Tobin new clothes for her to wear. Moe, Kling, and Alyssa set up arrangements to get both the Morgan and Heath families into the city in time. Cap had made the call to Abby, who arrived the afternoon after Alex’s passing. Tobin had nothing to do, and it left her thinking too much.

“He’s her mini-me huh?” Servando asked as he slid into the empty spot next to Tobin as they watched Sasha kick a mini soccer ball around with Hope and Kelley. 

“Yeah, he is,” Tobin said, turning to face the man. They ended up being good friends with him even if he did claim Alex broke his heart. Servando picked Tobin up into a hug.

“God Tobin, I’m so sorry,” he said, trying not to sob into her chest.

“I know Serv,” Tobin said as he set her down but held her close. 

“What can I do to help?” he asked and Tobin chuckled.

“I don’t know, they did everything,” Tobin said, referring to her team.

“What do you want to do?” he asked and Tobin looked back over at Sasha. “Alright,” he said, jumping over the rail. He picked her up and pulled her over the rail to join him, “let’s go play,” he said, dragging her toward the field. 

Soon the whole team, along with many others, were out on the field playing an easygoing pickup game. Tobin watched as Ash had Sasha on her shoulders, letting the boy punch a shot over the crossbar. When she looked around at the team, her family, she noticed that for the first time all week she felt like maybe it wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe they could move on from this, it would be hard but they all had each other’s backs. Servando started jogging along the sideline with her.

“She’d be proud,” he said and Tobin nodded, “she loved you so much Tobin, she couldn’t stop talking about you whenever she and I would see each other after you two got together. Hell, even before,“ he added with a chuckle. “She talked about marrying you, and having kids with you and just being happy with you. You made her damn happy Tobs. Don’t forget that.” Tobin stopped him from running, and hugged him tightly, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Thank you, Serv. You’ll never understand how much that means to me.” He nodded and held her tightly, knowing that his friend needed him to just be there. 

x-x-x

Abby sat down next to Tobin, handing the woman a cup of coffee. The two stayed quiet for awhile, watching Sasha play on the playground. 

“How’d you figure out where I was?” Tobin asked after a minute.

“Easy, I figured out where Sasha would want to go,” Abby smirked and Tobin nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I was supposed to take care of her for you. I promised you I would take care of her the day I married her.”

“Tobin, Alex was a grown ass woman. She should have known she was pushing herself too hard,” Abby said sternly, “this isn’t your fault.”

“Sure feels like it,” Tobin scoffed and Abby shook her head.

“It’s not. Do you remember the day we came over and had to convince you that you could handle a kid?”

“Yeah,” Tobin smiled, Sasha was the brightest thing in her world right now.

“I told Alex that, no matter what, as long as he was happy and healthy, that that was payment enough for that day. Look how happy he is. Yes, it’ll be hard but Tobin you have to be strong for him,” they looked back over toward Sasha, “he’s going to need you, Tobin.”

“I haven’t even caught my breath yet,” Tobin admitted. 

“Tobin, we won’t leave you. You’re family. Him,” Abby pointed to the child on the playground, “he is family. From the moment he was born, he has been my family and our teams family and I promise you anything he could ever want or need, he’ll have it. We will be there.” 

“I know you will be.”

“We owe Alex that much.”

x-x-x

Tobin stood in the front of the church, Sasha at her side in his suit. Ashlyn knelt in front of Sasha setting his tie up for him. 

“There you go bud, you look better than me in that tie,” Ashlyn said, pulling a comb out of her back pocket and running it through the boy’s hair. 

“Aunt Ash... I don’t like it here,” he whispered as if telling her a secret, Ashlyn sat down, pulling him onto her lap. 

“I know buddy, I don’t like it either.”

“I like church, but today feels sad,” he pouted, snuggling into his aunt, “I don’t like when people are sad.”

“I know buddy, I don’t either,” Ash looked up as someone put a hand on her shoulder. She smiled at Christie, “Cap.”

“Hey Ash, can I borrow my favorite little man for a minute?” she asked and Ash nodded, moving over so Christie could sit down. The woman pulled Sasha into her lap, “hey buddy, how are you doing?” 

“I miss mama,” he said and Christie brushed his hair back, kissing his forehead. 

“I know buddy, I miss her too. It’s ok to feel sad,” she explained to him and he nuzzled into her. 

“Why did God take her?” he whimpered and Christie looked up at Tobin who had tears falling down her cheeks. 

“Sometimes God works in a weird way. He takes things from us that we don’t want him to. You know what we have to do, though?”

“What?” he asked, pouting.

“Have faith that he knows what we can handle,” she explained and Sasha looked forward toward the front of the church, where the cross hung on the wall. 

“He didn’t need her,” he said, jumping out of Christie’s arms. He stood by Tobin, taking his mother’s hand. Tobin gave Christie an apologetic look but Christie just shook her head and kissed Tobin’s forehead. 

“It’s ok,” she promised, squeezing Tobin’s shoulder. She made her way back to her seat as Jeffery sat next to Tobin, and the service started. The filled church barely noticed the thunder rolling outside.

x-x-x

Lauren walked over to Tobin, sitting next to her on the airport chairs. She didn’t say anything, just placed a hand on Tobin’s knee. They stayed that way for a few minutes, till Tobin leaned into Lauren’s side, allowing Lauren to wrap an arm around her, holding her close. 

“Are you sure about this?” Lauren asked, kissing the top of Tobin’s head.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Tobin said, looking down at Sasha as he slept in the seat next to her. 

“If you need anything, just call,” Lauren said and Tobin nodded. 

“I’ll be with my parents, it’ll be ok.”

“Tobin,” Lauren waited till the woman was looking up at her, “I mean it; if you need anything. You’re walking away from something you love at the same time you lost the biggest part of your life—”

“Lauren, I promise I’ll be ok. I need to do this for Sasha. He needs more people around him that love him and he needs stability. Traveling all over with us isn’t going to help him right now.” 

“Tobin… what about you?” Lauren asked, concerned for her long time friend. 

“I’ll be ok, I got my little buddy with me and my parents, it’ll be ok.”

“Tobs…”

“Lauren, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where we’ll be in a year, or even a month. Maybe we’ll hate it and we’ll come back home, I have no idea. All I know is, for now, it seems like the right choice,” Tobin said and Lauren pulled Tobin into a tight hug.

“Ok Tobs, but if you—”

“Need anything, just call, I know Chen. I promise I’m not as lost as I was when we first met. I know how to take care of us,” Tobin smiled down at Sasha, running a hand through his hair, “we just need some time.”

“New Jersey isn’t far.”

“It’s not.”

“I’ll come visit.”

“I’d like that,” Tobin smiled.

“I’ll even bring Amy and the kids… we’ll visit and we’ll let the kids have a good time,” Lauren tried to keep her tears from overflowing but couldn’t. Tobin pulled her into another hug.

“Lauren, I promise this isn’t goodbye,” she said softly, “I’ll come to a few games when I’m ready, and I’ll be the loudest one in the crowd.”

“I’m going to miss you, Toby.”

“I’ll always be a phone call away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are pretty amazing I had a huge outpouring of comments last night. I know many of you are a bit upset about Alex's passing but I promise you this story isn't done yet, there is a lot more down the road for Tobin and Sasha. I also have at least one, one-shot written in this universe (Hope and Kelley babyproofing the house) so that should be out in the next few days, keep an eye out for that on. So as always thoughts? Comments?


	12. Chapter 12

Lauren hadn’t heard from Tobin for over a month after she watched her and Sasha climb onto the airplane. She had gone home to Jrue and their son, the man wrapping her in a hug, knowing she was suffering from the past few weeks too. 

Jrue had nearly begged Lauren to call Tobin after two weeks. He kept saying that it wasn’t good for everyone to go this long without hearing from the woman. Lauren tried to brush him off, Tobin had gone months without talking to anyone when they were young. However, no matter how hard she tried to push it away something kept eating away at her. 

She did finally make the call in the end, but Tobin never picked up. She tried again a few days later and again nothing. Concerned, she coordinated with the rest of the ‘family’ so that a teammate would call each day. They even brought in her Portland teammates and a few of the PSG players that Lindsey knew were worried and would help out too.

Now, at week five, Jrue stood in front of her with a plane ticket, once again begging her to go. She grabbed the bag he had packed for her and went to the airport. She made a few calls before boarding, getting some back up. 

x-x-x

Lauren enveloped Christen into a hug when they spotted each other in baggage claim. 

“You still haven’t heard from her?” Lauren asked and Christen shook her head, “come on, I know where her parents live.”

The drive to the Heath home was quiet, both women worrying about what their friend was going through. They accepted that they could never understand what Tobin had endured, but they could still be there for the woman, if she let them. Christen looked up at Lauren when the woman covered her hand with her own. 

“We’ll get her back,” she said in a tone that Christen knew was her way of promising and that when Lauren made a promise, she never backed down from it. Christen focused back on her own concerns as she absently watched the outside world whirl by. She didn’t notice when they pulled into a subdivision, or even when they had stopped; she was so lost in her own thoughts. 

“You ready?” Lauren asked and Christen looked over at her, shocked they were sitting in front of the Heath’s home.

“No,” Christen said honestly and Lauren nodded, “but I have to be,” she said as they climbed out. Christen stayed behind Lauren as they stood in front of the door. She felt oddly uncomfortable; out of place, and entirely unwanted; standing there on their front porch. When the door opened she was glad that Mrs. Heath knew Lauren so well, the women quickly being swooped into a hug by Lauren before ushering them both in. 

“Tobin’s been…” she stopped, unable to find words to express how her daughter was doing. Christen looked at the woman with a critical eye; her eyes were sunken in, bags formed under them, a little paler than she had been the prior month. 

“It’s ok,” Lauren said when the woman couldn’t come up with the words, “we came to see her though.”

“She’s taking a nap with Sasha right now,” she explained, “you are more than welcome to stay.”

“Thank you Mrs. Heath,” Lauren said graciously. Christen knew the woman wouldn’t relax till she saw her best friend, so the next words out of her mouth didn’t shock Christen at all. “Can I check on them?” Lauren asked quietly and the older woman nodded, leading the way toward what must have been Tobin’s childhood room. She opened the door as quietly as possible and Christen looked in over Lauren’s shoulder. Tobin was curled up on the bed, her back to the door with Sasha was wrapped in her arms, held tightly against Tobin’s chest, his thumb in his mouth. Lauren nodded and pulled the door shut.

“How about I run out to the store and I’ll treat everyone to dinner tonight?” Lauren offered and the woman gave a watery smile before pulling Lauren back into her arms, trying not to cry on her.

“I don’t know what Tobin did to deserve you as a friend, but am I sure glad God gave you to her,” Mrs. Heath said to Lauren who hugged her back, running a hand up and down her back.

“Oh trust me, I’m the lucky one to have Tobin in my life. Now, why don’t you go get your own nap in. We’ll be back soon,” Lauren promised before practically dragging Christen out of the house. When they got to the car Lauren looked over at Christen, “are you going to be ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You didn’t say one word to Tobin’s mother,” Lauren pointed out and Christen looked down at her feet.

“I’m just really worried about Tobin.”

“Chris...”

“What if she doesn’t want us here Lauren? What if she never comes back to the team? What if she’s never ok again?” Christen shot rapid fire questions at Lauren, shocking her.

“Woah, Christen, calm down. I promise you that Tobin is going to be pissed at first but she’ll get over it. And it’s Tobin we’re talking about, you know she’s going to come back to soccer. Lastly, she’ll be ok again because we are all here for her. It’s only been a month, the hard part isn’t even close to over with this.”

“I can’t stand seeing her sad.”

“I know, neither can I. That’s why we’re here though,” she said and Christen sighed, leaning up against the car. “Let’s go, we’ll come back and cook and they’ll all be up soon.”

“Alright,” Christen said, looking back at the house one last time before getting into the car. Her heart ached for her friend and for the little boy that looked so much like his mother.

x-x-x

Christen watched the young boy across from her. He sat in Tobin’s lap, refusing to leave her side. What captured Christen’s attention the most, however, was that in the month since they had last seen the boy, he somehow had started to look more like Alex. His hair had grown out into a shaggier cut, falling almost in front of his eyes, eyes that were almost exact replicas of Alex’s. 

“Tobin,” Lauren said sighing, “we’re just worried.”

“I know, and I swear, I will try to keep in contact better,” Tobin said. Christen refocused on her friend; she noticed how tired Tobin looked, and that the normally healthy woman had lost a bit of weight. What drove a spike through her chest, however, was how the spark in Tobin’s eyes was gone. 

“How are you liking it back here?” Christen asked, shocking even herself. 

“Um… things are good I guess. Mom and Dad have been really supportive this whole time. Sasha’s been enjoying them being around,” Tobin said, brushing his hair back as she spoke about him. 

“Maybe we could take him out to the park later, or maybe a museum or something?” Christen offered and Tobin gave a smile.

“I’m sure he’d like that,” Tobin kissed the top of Sasha’s head. 

After dinner, Lauren pulled Tobin aside. They watched as Christen played with Sasha in the backyard. 

“How are you really doing?”

“It’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be, I think?” Tobin said and Lauren nodded. 

“How can we help?”

“Just… don’t let me push everyone away. I don’t realize how quickly time is moving when it’s just the two of us. It’s hard to keep up with everyone and take care of him.”

“You’ll have to answer your phone then,” Lauren chuckled and Tobin nodded, dragging a hand through her hair. 

“Cheney… when things settle down… I have to come back,” Tobin explained looking back at Sasha as he chased after Christen, “I’ve already lost myself… I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again if I don’t come back to soccer.”

“Jill already told you the spot will be yours to try for when you get back and Portland will welcome you back with open arms.”

“Will the teams though?” Tobin asked worrying her lip.

“Of course Tobs, we love you,” Lauren hugged her. “We have a game in a few months in Penn, I’ll get you tickets if you want to go?”

“I’ll go,” Tobin said instantly and Lauren smiled, there was hope yet.

x-x-x

One thing Christen wasn’t prepared for was the night time routine of getting Sasha to bed. She knew kids weren’t the best at going to sleep, and were usually cranky when they got that tired. Hell, she got cranky when she was tired, so she couldn’t blame them. Sasha, however, took it to a whole other level. 

“Mama!” the boy screamed as he tore through the house, tears streaming down his face as he searched frantically for his missing mother. “Where’s mama?” he sobbed, throwing himself into Lauren, who scooped him up, much like she had that night with Tobin. 

“Oh my sweet angel,” Lauren soothed, rocking him back in forth in her arms, “it’s ok to be sad Sasha.”

“I miss my mama,” he whimpered, burying his face into Lauren’s neck as he sobbed, clutching her shirt, “where’s my mama?” 

“Buddy, can you tell me where your mama is?” Lauren asked softly and the young boy looked up at her, huge tears rolling down his reddened cheeks. 

“Is she in Heaven? With God?” He asked, his lower lip quivering.

“Yeah Sasha she is. You know what though?”

“No.”

“Just because we can’t see her, doesn’t mean she isn’t here with us all the time. See, we get something special. We get to carry her in our hearts everyday. She gets to watch out for us everyday. So when you’re sad and lonely, she’s there and just wants to comfort you. Do you know what you can do?”

“No,” he wiped his nose with his arm and Lauren smiled, brushing his hair back from his face. 

“You can get your favorite stuffed animal and a nice blanket, and curl up with them giving your friend a big tight hug, and I bet you even if you can’t see her, or feel her, that your mama will be there hugging you too,” Lauren explained.

“Yeah?” 

“I bet you remember how much mama loved to cuddle with you, right?”

“She gave the best cuddles,” Sasha smiled. 

“So, how about we go give it a try and you let your mommy tuck you in with your favorite stuffed animal and a nice warm blanket ok? And I bet your mama will be right there beside you all night cuddling you close.”

“Ok,” Sasha said and climbed out of Lauren’s lap, slowly making his way over to Tobin, who ran a hand through his hair looking up at Lauren. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ before turning around and following the boy to his room.

“How did you know that would work?” Christen asked once they were out of earshot.

“I didn’t,” Lauren said, turning to Christen, “but I knew if that’s what Tobin’s been handling every night… it’s no wonder she’s in such bad shape.” 

Christen watched as Lauren walked away. She knew better than to go after the woman, that she needed time to clear her head. What they had just witnessed had broken both of their hearts and it was something they couldn’t fix with a snap of their fingers. Lauren just wasn’t used to that, so Christen stayed in the living room of the Heath home, processing her own thoughts of the events. She looked up towards the kitchen when she heard the door open and watched as Tobin stepped out of the house. Curiosity getting the better of her, she followed the woman outside. Christen took Tobin’s form in as the woman leaned against the deck railing. Her shoulders were slumped forward, quaking every so often; her body looked beaten down, almost destroyed. Christen watched as Tobin’s hands clenched into fists, and Tobin’s body snapped up. 

“I hate you!” she screamed, voice cracking. Christen was shocked so much she jumped back a bit but still couldn’t take her eyes off her broken friend. “You promised that we were in this together! We’d tackle this as a team! Look at us now. I can’t do this! I can’t handle him alone! I need you! He needs you. I’m not a fit parent without you!” Tobin’s voice echoed off the neighboring homes, “I hate you for leaving him! How dare you leave him! I hat—” Tobin cut her words off when she felt arms wrap around her. 

“It’s ok,” Christen said softly, rubbing a hand up and down Tobin’s back, “it’s ok to hate her. You’re hurt, it’s ok. She’ll understand,” Christen said, quickly hoping Tobin wouldn’t turn her anger on her. Thankfully Tobin just stood there, stiff as a board in Christen’s arms. 

“I… I can’t do this Chris…” Tobin said, starting to crumble into Christen’s grip, “I don’t know what to do without her.”

“We’ll help you. We’ll figure this out Tobin, I promise you.”

“I miss her so much… I don’t know what to do,” Tobin clutched onto Christen, starting to sob. Christen held tightly onto Tobin, trying to sooth her. 

“I promise Tobin, we’ll always be here for you. We’ll get you through this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I promise the next chapter is a lot lighter than this one. Thoughts? Comments?


	13. Note

First off, I hate putting up author notes as chapters. It freaking irks me to fucking hell, so please know this is important.

Secondly, I understand a lot of you are upset about this possibly being Preath and I’m no longer going to beat around the bush and say: yes, Tobin does end up with Christen in the end. Now, as to ‘why is Preath not in the tags?’  Preath isn’t in the tags just like how Ali/Ash, Kelley/Hope and a multitude of other ships and people that appear in the story aren’t in the tags. Why?  Because THIS ISN’T PREATH FOCUSED. This isn’t about Preath or even Talex really. This is about Tobin’s journey through a portion of her life with her son. So why is Talex tagged? Because without Talex there would be no story, there would be no Sasha, without them there wouldn’t be a catalyst to move this story forward. I knew right from the start who ever I would write with Tobin at the start would die, be it Alex or Christen and she’d end up with the other. Now, I may add the tag when, and if, I deem it relevant to the story and not a moment sooner. Hell, I might not even add in the Preath tag because I’m not looking for more readers if that’s what you think I was doing, trying to avoid Talex readers not reading this because it turns to Preath... I was not looking to be sneaky or anything. However, it did occur to me that had I put the Preath tag in there it would’ve spoiled my story. Anyone who’s been reading the comment section will know, I avoid spoiling my own work like mad. I didn’t put this much work into something that I love for it to be spoiled.  

Now, for those who are unhappy with this turn of events, life doesn’t always go the way you want it, so the close tab button is right up there. Go help yourselves. I am tired of the constant comments that are, quite frankly, incredibly rude. My beta and I have spent 4 months on this work, and have put our hearts and souls into it. It makes me want to say fuck it and not finish posting this. I don’t need to post these for you guys to read, I write for my own happiness and share because I want to. The reaction to this has been incredibly hard to swallow, I knew people would be upset with Alex’s death but to react this way about Tobin possibly finding happiness after the loss of her wife is baffling to me. Is Tobin ending up happy with someone else that horrible for you guys? The possibility that there is happiness after the loss of a loved one? If your lover or spouse or hell even one of your parents died wouldn’t you want to find happiness again? Or your living parent to do so? Trust me when I say I know exactly how hard that is so please stop being so… appalled by the prospect that Tobin could find happiness after Alex. I write real life situations; there are deaths, and heartbreak and sadness, and real conversations along with the good parts. Life isn’t always happy-go-lucky as many of you know. This blowback makes me not want to put up other works I have going because god forbid I write something someone disagrees with. 

So, for the time being, I don’t know if I’ll decide to keep posting this story and others or not. For now, I think I’m taking a break from posting this story. Dealing with the negativity is not what I need right now or ever. 

Just to be clear, I am not upset with the people saying they are unhappy with Alex’s death. I understand how hard taking a death of any character can be, which is why the Major Death flag was up since the beginning. I am upset with the comments telling me not to make this Preath. As I’ve said, I’ve been working on this for months now and had this completed before I started posting so receiving these comments about how I shouldn’t write my own story makes me not want to share anymore.

To those of you that have truly enjoyed the story and have been giving me encouragement, you’ve been absolutely fantastic and I’m sorry that it’s come to this. I thought I would be able to just brush these off but it’s been a lot more than I thought it would and I just need to take a step back. 


	14. Chapter 14

Christen groaned as her phone rang. It was nearly 11 at night and she had a game the next day, but when she saw the name on her screen she answered, trying to stifle a yawn.

“Hey,” she said.

“Oh man, Chris you were asleep, I didn’t even… go back to sleep.”

“No… no, Tobin you did me a favor, I fell asleep on the couch,” Christen lied and Tobin chuckled, “what’s up?”

“I was wondering… if it’s not asking too much, could I come visit?”

“Tobs—”

“I mean I don’t want to put you out Chris, I shouldn’t even be asking—”

“Tobin,”

“Yeah?”

“I was going to say, only if you bring my favorite boy,” Christen smiled and Tobin grinned.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll bring him.”

“Awesome, we can take him to the parks, and, oh, there is this really good pancake place right by Cloud Gate.” 

“You mean The Bean?” Tobin asked, laughing.

“Shut up, I hate that name,” Christen chuckled. 

“I should let you go back to sleep, you have a game tomorrow.”

“Please, don’t. I could really use someone to talk to. Julie’s been talking nonstop about Zach and I… I miss you Tobs.”

“Ok… well, I was thinking while I was there… I don’t know Chris, I just need a break,” Tobin admitted. “I can’t be home anymore it’s driving me up a wall.” 

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re more than welcome here.”

“I was going to go to Paris. Shirley said we could stay there but… Sasha isn’t ready for that much travel.”

“Tobs, I promise you, it’s ok. We’ll take him to the museum and Shedd’s, they have another baby otter. He’ll love it.” 

“I… I want to visit… I want to just get back into life,” Tobin explained and Christen’s heart broke for her friend. 

“Make plans, I’ll pick you up from the airport, and we’ll hang out for the week.” 

“Thanks Chris.”

“Hey, you two are family. Plus I miss you guys, I need some extra Sasha cuddles when he’s here.”

“He misses you too, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“I hate this but I should get to bed. Julie is gonna kill me if I’m tired in the morning.”

“Night Chris, kick some butt tomorrow.”

“Make plans Tobs, I expect to hear all about them tomorrow.”

x-x-x

Tobin yawned as she walked out of Christen’s spare room, shuffling toward the smell of coffee. She gladly took the cup that JJ offered her before turning to see what the blonde was starting at. There in the small living room was Christen showing Sasha how to practice yoga. Tobin smiled, shaking her head.

“Can we keep him?” JJ asked, nudging Tobin’s shoulder, “she didn’t get me up at the butt crack of dawn to partake,” Tobin smiled at the thought.

“How about you can borrow him during camps?” she offered and JJ grinned.

“So does that mean you’re coming back?”

“Thinking about it. I’ll be at the game you guys have next month.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, anything to keep him a little busy helps.”

“Mommy! Aunt Chris said she’d take us to the pancake place,” Sasha said when he noticed Tobin standing by JJ.

“Yeah? Are you a little excited?” Tobin grinned as Sasha ran over to her. She lifted the boy up into her arms.

“Yeah!” he said, looking back at Christen, “can we go?”

“Sure, let me get ready, and your mom might want to get you ready too. I don’t know if Scooby-Doo PJs is the best thing to wear out in the city.”

“Mommy hurry,” Sasha said, looking at Tobin who laughed.

“You want to join us JJ?” Tobin asked and the defender shook her head.

“Nope, I’ve restricted myself to one visit a month,” she said proudly and Tobin laughed, nodding.

“Yeah, pancakes have yet to make it on Dawn’s list from what I’ve heard. Hey, maybe I’ll try using that as a bargaining chip for them to get me back on the team.”

“Oh please do!” JJ grinned.

Less than half an hour later, they were walking down the street toward the pancake house that both Christen and JJ had spent all that time raving about.

“Stay close Sash,” Tobin told the boy as he ran a few feet in front of them. “Thanks for taking care of him after he woke up.”

“Don’t mention it, he was great. Quite a little yogi you got there.”

“Don’t you know kids are all that flexible?” Tobin laughed and Christen smiled. She was glad her friend was starting to pull out of the depression she’d been in.

“So the wait might be a little long but the calling device they give us reaches all the way to the park.”

“That sounds fine, we can get some of that early morning energy out of him,” Tobin said, watching Sasha closely as the boy waited impatiently at a crosswalk. “Sash, you don’t cross without us,” she warned and the boy sighed but waited for Tobin and Christen to catch up. Tobin waited for Sasha to take her hand before allowing them to cross the road. 

“Mommy, what kind of pancakes can I get?” Sasha asked as they crossed.

“I don’t know bud, I have no idea what they have.”

“I linked you,” Christen said and Tobin shrugged. 

“Looking at pancakes I couldn’t have at the moment didn’t seem like the best idea,” Tobin explained and Christen rolled her eyes. Alex never said she was truly raising two kids instead of one.

“They have a bunch of types, you’ll find something you like,” Christen promised the boy. “I’ll run in and get us on the list,” she offered as they walked up to the building. People were waiting all over in the courtyard for a table and the inside lobby was jammed. 

“Yeah, good luck battling your way in,” Tobin offered as she picked Sasha up, “come on Sash, we’ll look at the menu out here.” She walked over the wall where a menu was. 

“Mommy, what do they have?” he asked and Tobin smiled, shaking her head.

“Let’s see, blueberry pancakes, strawberry, wildberry, fig and walnut… oh, you won’t like those,” Tobin said, scrunching her own nose up.

“Why?”

“Cause even mommy doesn’t like those,” Tobin said and Sasha nodded, that was a good enough reason. 

“You’re just picky,” Christen said as she walked up to them.

“I’m sorry, I’m not training with the team so I can have…” she looked back at the menu, “Oreo s’more pancakes while you can enjoy your Fig and walnut multigrain horrible excuse for a pancake,” Tobin said, smirking and Christen laughed.

“I’ll give ya that, but you won’t get Oreo s’more pancakes anyway, you’ll end up sick and knowing you, you’ll go for something like their signature berry ones.” 

“Mommy, I want Oreo s’more pancakes,” Sasha exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Sorry buddy, you gotta be at least 10 to have those,” Tobin lied quickly and the boy pouted, “how about banana cream pie? or tiramisu?”

“What’s that?”

“Whoops, never mind, can’t have that either. It’s got coffee in it, you don’t need any extra energy,” Tobin said, trying to cover up her mistake. “Oh look, cinnamon roll and chocolate chip are the bottom two, how about either of those?” 

“Chocolate chip!” Sasha said, wiggling in Tobin’s grip. 

“Well, now that that is settled, should we head over to the park?” Christen asked and Sasha nodded as Tobin set him on the ground. 

“Lead the way Chris,” Tobin smiled taking Sasha hand as they walked across another road. 

“This is one of my favorite places to go on Sunday mornings. Get out for some fresh air, people watch, read or even get some extra yoga in,” Christen explained as they walked, “it’s a big tourist spot but that’s ok. If you go off the beaten path a bit, you end up in a really nice area.” 

“Hey, it’s ok. He’s a kid, it doesn’t take much to impress him,” Tobin said smiling and Christen laughed, nodding. 

“Ok,” She smiled, “we have to see Cloud Gate though, and maybe avoid the water part till after breakfast.” 

“Water?” Tobin asked, looking at Sasha as he walked a few feet in front of them, watching a woman and her young daughter. 

“Yeah, they have this… I’m not even sure how to explain it. It’s two towers with water running down the sides into a shallow, like three inches shallow, pool of water. Kids love it,”

“Yeah, after breakfast,” Tobin smiled, “Sash, what are you doing?” Tobin asked, looking back up at her son who was now holding hands with the little girl walking with her mother.

“I made a friend,” he grinned and Tobin chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m sorry about that,” she said to the mother who just shook her head. 

“Please, don’t be. She’s always been really shy,” the mother smiled, “we were just headed over to the bean if you wouldn’t mind letting them play for awhile?”

“That’s where we’re headed too,” Tobin smiled and Christen couldn’t help but be in awe of how easily the two parents handled the situation. The women walked behind the children watching as they interacted.

“So, do you guys live here or just visiting?” the mother asked.

“Christen lives here,” Tobin smiled, nodding to her friend, “she was nice enough to allow Sasha and myself to visit. We’ve been in a bit of a funk lately.” 

“I’m sorry to hear about that,” she said and Tobin gave her a small nod. “We just moved here. I got a job offer and couldn’t turn it down. Maya has taken it well, or really, as well as any 3-year-old can.”

“Yeah, they are pretty resilient. We lost my wife earlier this year and Sasha’s been doing really well. Hell, he’s doing better than me, if I’m honest,” Tobin laughed. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said genuinely, and Tobin gave her a small smile, “losing a loved one is always hard.”

“He keeps me sane,” Tobin nodded her head toward Sasha, “everything changed after she passed but he’s been doing well with it. Maybe one day I’ll feel comfortable enough to get back to work, leaving him at home with my parents or her’s,” Tobin rambled almost to herself more than either Christen or the other woman.

“We’re—”

“Soccer players?” the woman interjected. Tobin nodded with a laugh. “I kinda figured. My niece adores you guys and took Maya with her to a game last year.” 

“Now that’s rare,” Tobin laughed, “normally when we run into people that know us, they ask for photos and signatures. I’m Tobin, by the way, my son is Sasha.”

“Christen,” Christen smiled at the woman who nodded.

“Jennifer, that is Maya. I figured you guys didn’t need someone bugging you once I put it together.”

“How did you put it together if you didn’t know right off the bat?” Christen asked curious. 

“It just kinda clicked after she said that she and Sasha were visiting you here. Sasha is a pretty rare name, but one that stands out to a national fan, or her aunt,” Jennifer added with a chuckle, “add in a prominent ‘Christen’ from the team and who lives and plays here in Chicago? I figured out quickly you were  _ that _ Christen and  _ that  _ Sasha. The dots really just connected themselves,“ she said bashfully, “oh, and just a fair warning, my niece thinks my daughter should marry your son.”

“Well, if I can brag, I do plan on raising him right so he should be one heck of a gentlemen one day,” Tobin said a bit smugly. “Till then he can keep playing with his food and disgustingly eat worms,” Tobin shuddered and Christen laughed. 

“They all do that at least once,” Jennifer said and Tobin gagged. 

“I could deal with it if it had been once, but no little one has done it multiple times now.”

“The best was still at practice and he did it in front of Abby who started sobbing,” Christen smirked and Tobin laughed, it took them over two hours to calm Abby down after that, and Sasha was as happy as could be. No one had realized the smart two-year-old had a worm in his pocket, so when they finally calmed the legendary striker down, it only lasted so long. Sasha had picked the worm from his pocket, wanting to share it with his aunt, who screamed and ran away. Alex had to explain to Sasha what fears were, while Tobin tried not to laugh as she attempted to calm Abby down again. 

“Mommy!” Sasha came running up, Maya close behind him. Tobin knelt down to his level.

“What’s up big guy?” She asked and the boy grinned.

“Can Maya have pancakes with us?” he asked, not a single hint of shyness.

“Well, that would be up to Maya and her mom,” Tobin said, looking up at the woman in question. “Would you want to join us?” 

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friend,” Jennifer said and Christen smiled noticing that Sasha had, once again, taken Maya’s hand in his own.

“Oh nonsense, you’d be imposing more if you said no, little Sasha would pout all through breakfast,” Christen said and Tobin nodded. She finally noticed her son had taken the little girl’s hand in his own and she beamed. 

“They are fast friends, we can’t break up them just yet,” Tobin offered and Jennifer agreed. 

“Well, that is true,” she said, a smile on her face. “I guess we could join them, what do you say Maya?”

“Yes!” The little girl smiled.

“Well perfect timing, we’re getting called to the table,” Christen said and the group walked back to the pancake house. Christen talked to the host about amending their table, he just smiled and nodded saying they were getting a larger table anyway. When they were approaching the table, Sasha tried to pull the seat out for Maya, looking up at Tobin with pleading eyes. His mother smiled down at him and helped him show the girl he cared. Tobin helped him push the girl into the table before sitting next to her son, leaning over to him.

“Good job bud, made me proud,” she whispered to him and he grinned. When Tobin looked up she noticed that both of the other women at the table were swooning over the boy. Tobin smirked, he sure got the Heath charm.

After breakfast, Tobin swapped numbers with Jennifer, the two making promises that the kids would see each other again. Christen and Jennifer swapped numbers too, Christen telling her to call anytime she wanted tickets. The two soccer players even signed Maya’s hat for her before the group split up. Christen couldn’t stop smiling the whole way back to the apartment.

“Alright, you gotta let me know what has you so happy,” Tobin asked nudging her friend.

“Your little boy is something so special Tobs, you have no idea.”

“Oh I think I do,” Tobin smiled back looking at Sasha as he chased after some birds. “Hey, you think I could join the Red Stars for a practice?” she asked suddenly, shocking Christen.

“Yeah, I’m sure they’d love to have you around,” Christen said, pulling her phone out, “I’ll text coach right now.”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to call Jill today… I’d like to be able to join the team for practice again. Get back in shape… back into that groove. I miss it, I miss everyone.”

“We miss you too, and him. He’s much better than Amy’s kids,” Christen joked and Tobin laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so after lots of pie, and some retail therapy (But I'm broke so all I got was pie and m&m bark, I even left the lego store empty handed) and plenty of talking it through with a bunch of people; I shouldn't have snapped at you guys, it got frustrating between comments here and a few people on Tumblr getting pretty rude. I understand how you guys can feel pretty betrayed over my way of tagging but I did it to avoid spoiling things it was either tag the death or tag both relationships and considering I saw the death as something that could be a trigger I went with that instead. I'm sorry if you guys don't agree with this but I wasn't looking to purposefully deceive you, that wasn't my intention. So as one of my favorite songs says 'When youre wrong just say so' I was wrong guys and I'm sorry for that. I hope you all stick with me through to the end, if you don't I understand, but this won't keep me away so I do hope to see you read some of my future fics. Thank you guys for all the support and helping me understand why you were all upset, I'll be getting back to all the comments tonight. 
> 
> Now as always, comments? Thought? Oh and if your ever in the Chicago area hit up Wildberry pancakes they are to die for.


	15. Chapter 15

Visiting Christen started to become a regular thing for Tobin and Sasha. It was their third visit to Chicago when a storm came through in the late evening. Christen knew about Tobin’s fascination with thunderstorms, she knew the few that had come through in Portland always captured the attention of the woman and she had passed her love onto her son. She wasn’t surprised when Tobin couldn’t help but watch the storm descend on Chicago, standing on the balcony, leaning against the rails as the storm raged on around her. 

“Mommy,” Sasha whined as he opened the door to the room he and Tobin were sharing. Christen walked over to the young boy and picked him up; he had tears falling down his face and was shaking. 

“Sash, what’s the matter?” she asked, wiping the tears from his face. 

“Where’s mommy?” he asked, looking around the apartment for his mother. 

“She’s right outside, watching the storm. Do you want to join her?” He shook his head, tucking his face into Christen’s neck. “Little man, what’s going on? You love storms.”

“I’m scared…” he said and Christen kissed the top of his head. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. You wanna know what I think?” Christen asked, gaining the boy’s full attention, his bright blue eyes shining up at her, “ I think it’s your mama. She knows how much you and your mom love storms and you both love her, so she’s showing you that she’s still watching over you both.” 

“Mama watches us?”

“Of course she does big guy. She misses you so much and she’s showing you guys. So there is nothing to be afraid of.” 

“I miss mama,” he yawned and Christen nodded. 

“I know you do bud. You want to go see your mom? I’m sure she’d love to have her storm watching buddy with her.”

“Ok,” Sasha said and wiggled out of Christen’s grip. The forward smiled at him as she helped him with the sliding glass door. She shut the door as she watched Tobin lean down and pick the boy up in her arms. She smiled as Tobin started pointing things out to the boy, his head laid down on her shoulder. 

When she woke up the next morning she couldn’t find the two anywhere, Julie smirked at her as she offered no help.

“Where are they?” She finally gave up and asked.

“In the courtyard,” Julie smiled and Christen walked over to the window that overlooked the small courtyard. There, jumping in the puddles and laughing, were Tobin and Sasha. Christen couldn’t help but smile at the pair, seeing the joy on both of their faces.

x-x-x

Hope pulled a chair up next to Tobin, leaning heavily on the table in front of them.

“Kelley sent me over here to ask you when you would be coming back?” 

“I’m not sure if I am coming back,” Tobin said, watching Sasha run after Ryan and Kip. Tobin wanted to come back but things hadn’t gotten any easier for Sasha. The boy was constantly seeking out affection from Tobin; he couldn’t stand to not have her in sight. 

“Fair enough,” Hope said, “Tobin, have you thought about maybe what is best for you?” 

“What is best for me, is making sure Sasha is happy.”

“Tobin, it’s been six months. I know that isn’t a long time but Tobs, you’re fading away. Are you getting help?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been getting both of us in a few times a week. We do joint and singular appointments,” Tobin explained. Hope was a little shocked that the woman was so open about it. 

“Tobin… I’m worried about you.”

“Hope, I’m at a standstill. I don’t know what my next step will be. If I’ll move forward and figure out something to do with my degree and have a stable life for him, or if I’ll come back.” 

“What do you want?” 

“I want someone to promise me he’ll be ok,” Tobin said, looking back toward her son who was now kicking a ball around with Ryan, Kip, and Mal, “I want someone to tell me that what we’re both feeling is valid and that one day this will all make sense.”

“How is he doing?” 

“He’s doing exactly how the therapist said he would. He’s crying less at least, still sleeping with me every night, he’ll have meltdowns and will just scream,” Tobin frowned, “it’s exhausting, but I understand it. I keep finding him just sitting in the middle of rooms alone, like he totally shut down; it’s terrifying.” Hope put a hand on Tobin’s shoulder.

“What did the doc say about it?”

“To just be there for him, play with him, remind him that I’m there and won’t leave,” Tobin sighed running a hand through her hair. “He’s slowly getting better but every once in awhile, he’ll ask when she’s coming home…” Tobin stopped, her voice cracking. Hope wrapped her into a hug. 

“It’s ok,” she said softly, as Tobin tried to pull herself back together. 

“I can’t do this Hope, I can’t. I need her. I need her here with me. Telling me I’m not screwing this kid up any more than he’ll already be from losing her. I can’t do this,” Tobin sobbed and Hope started to rub circles into her back.

“Tobin, you are one of the strongest people I know. You can do this and you will. If you need help, all you have to do is say something and look how many of us will come running to help you.”

“I need her, I need Alex!” 

“I wish she was still here, I really do.”

“It should’ve been me. She would be so much better at this,” Tobin said and Hope cupped her face.

“Do not ever say that, you are doing a great job with that little boy. Yes, I miss Alex too and god do I wish this had never happened but Tobin, you got this. You can handle this.”

“It’s too much,” Tobin whimpered and Hope shook her head. 

“No, it’s not. You can handle this,” she said just as Sasha let out a cry. Tobin’s head snapped up, searching for her son. “It’s ok, look, he’s right there with Amy,” Hope said and Tobin watched as Amy sat on the ground with Sasha. She rocked the boy back and forth as he clutched to her, tears falling down his face. Since Alex’s death Sasha hadn’t been able to find comfort in anyone but his mother, so as Tobin watched her best friend sooth her son’s tears, a smile made it’s way onto her face. 

“He’s never calmed down for anyone but me,” Tobin said, wiping her own tears away. 

“See Tobs, that’s what I was trying to tell you, you’re doing a great job,” Hope said, kissing the top of the woman’s head, “you aren’t in this alone, so stop shutting us out.”

“I’m trying,” Tobin said honestly and Hope nodded. 

“That’s all I ask.”

x-x-x

Jill looked over at Tobin. She knew the woman was coming in a few days before the game to try and see her friends and possibly work out with them. So far, Tobin hadn’t joined the team in practice but Jill had an opportunity she wasn’t sure she wanted to pass up. She walked over to the young woman, smiling at Sasha and running a hand through his hair.

“I have a proposition for you, Tobin,” Jill said and Tobin raised an eyebrow up at her, “come practice with us today, please? We need someone to just keep us laid back for the day.”

“I can’t I have—”

“Amy and Lauren’s kids will be with us. Bring him, we have a sitter.” 

“I…” Tobin looked up at Christen who was sitting next to her, the forward gave her a nod and Tobin sighed, “yeah, I’d love to be out there again.” 

“Gear up then, we leave in fifteen minutes,” Jill smiled and turned to walk away. She gave Dawn a thumbs up and the woman grinned. 

“You got some extra practice clothes?” Tobin asked looking up at Chris who smiled.

“For you? Always.”

“Mommy, are we going to play?” Sasha asked, looking up at Tobin who grinned down at him.

“Yeah bud, we are.”

When they reached the stadium, Tobin couldn’t help but feel anxious. It's been months since she’d been near a field, it was exciting and terrifying all at once. She looked down at Sasha, his hand clasped in hers. His eyes were wide, taking everything in with a smile on his face. When he looked up at Tobin it made her heart stop, it was exactly how Alex looked every time she stepped onto the field. 

“You guys ready?” Amy asked, walking up to them, her two sons walking right beside her. Amy grabbed Tobin’s free hand, “come on, we got this,” she promised and they walked toward the locker room. Tobin stopped as soon as she walked in. There, in one of the cubbies, was her jersey, hanging up, neatly pressed. 

“Thought you might need some gear,” Dawn said, walking up to Tobin. She put a hand on the midfielder’s back and Tobin turned, hugging her tightly as tears started falling. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, trying not to sob in front of Sasha. Dawn wrapped her arms around Tobin tightly, kissing her temple. 

“Don’t thank me, Tobin. You did this, you came back,” Dawn said and Tobin nodded. She pulled away from Dawn, the woman quickly wiping the tears away from her face, “you came here, it’s all you.”

“Come on Tobs, show us what you got!” Mallory said and everyone agreed. Tobin grinned as she pulled her jersey back on. 

“Fifty bucks says she nutmegs Lauren first,” Pinoe said to Hope who smirked. 

“You’re on.” 

Amy tossed a ball toward Tobin, who started slowly dribbling it down the field, getting used to the movements again. 

“Don’t watch the ball!” Lindsey yelled at her and Tobin’s head snapped up. She started taking in the people on the field, running plays through her mind and before anyone knows it, they’re all in the middle of a scrimmage. Tobin passed back to Kelley as Becky stepped in front of her, trying to strip the ball. Tobin ran quickly past the defender and received the ball back from Kelley, only Lauren standing between her and Press, who was set up to score. Tobin smirked.

“Sorry Chen,” she said as she nutmegged the other middy and retrieved the ball, completing her pass to Christen who sank the ball into the lower left corner, beating Hope out by a hair’s breadth. Christen crashed into her hugging her tightly, soon everyone was piled on, congratulating her. 

Jill stood watching from the sidelines, a smile plastered on her face. She walked over to Sasha who had been watching the whole play, putting a hand on his back as she knelt down by him.

“Go get your mom, little man,” she told him and he took off for Tobin. The woman scooped him up in her arms, tossing him above her head and catching him before clutching him to her chest, her signature smile finally gracing her face once more. 

x-x-x

Tobin kept joining the team the rest of the week for practices, taking it easier after the first day at Dawn’s insistence. Tobin fought Dawn at first trying to keep up appearances that she was still in shape and game ready, but she was thankful the woman wasn’t buying it. She couldn’t believe how happy she was when she saw Carli waving her over on the second day for an ice bath. As she sank into the tub she groaned and Carli let out a laugh.

“Sore Tobs?” She asked.

“So sore I can’t nod yes or even open my eyes right now,” she said, sinking lower into the water, “I get it now Car, this is great.” 

“Told you,” Carli smirked. “You’re looking good out there still, though your boy beats you by far.”

“Oh trust me, I know. He’ll be a great player one day.”

“That video of him accidentally hitting himself in the face with the ball… priceless.”

“He learned it from his aunt Carlos,” Tobin smirked and Carli splashed her. 

“So, how are things?” 

“They’re good, I’m glad I’m here. I’m going to talk to Jill and Dawn about getting on track to come back.”

“Really?” Carli grinned and Tobin nodded.

“I need to come back, this is my home. I’ll talk with them first and then, call the Thorns.”

“You’re out of contract, you could go anywhere,” Carli pointed out.

“I don’t want to go anywhere, though,” Tobin smiled, “I like Portland, I’ll go back there.”

“It’s a good fit for you, but you’re sure you don’t want to go to Kansas city? Be closer to Amy and Lauren?”

“I’ll have Kelley and Hope just to the north, I’ll be ok,” Tobin promised and smiled. “Hell, half the team is on the Thorns anyway,” she joked and Carli laughed. 

“Fair enough,” Carli said, “alright Toby, outta the tub. We’re even past my limit,” Carli said, standing up. Tobin groaned but stood up. 

“Man, I hope Dawn lets us have dessert tonight,” Tobin said and Carli laughed throwing an arm around the woman. 

“I bet if you asked her, she would.”

x-x-x

Jill had gotten permission to have Tobin and Sasha on the bench with permission from both US Soccer and their opponent, France, for the game. Jill was glad that they were facing France, knowing Tobin had connections to many of the women on the team. The two teams agreed to a dinner two nights before the game. It was France that had asked, looking for an excuse to see some of their old teammates and check on Tobin for themselves. 

Now, at game day, Jill watched the young woman with her son as she explained the game to him. His eyes were wide as he watched his family play. He cheered for every goal, even the one France got. He was worried every time someone hit the ground, and he yelled at the ref every time someone else did. Jill was initially worried that he’d be a distraction on the bench but he seemed to fit right in. Jill also knew that he was the ticket to bring Tobin back to the team for good. She was going to do everything in her power to bring the midfielder back to her team. 

When Tobin came to her after camp, asking to sit with her and Dawn to get a plan together for her, Jill masked her excitement. At least till Dawn cracked and pulled out a pack they already had for her. However, Tobin’s face fell slightly when she realized the next camp was right in the middle of Sasha’s birthday. She didn’t know how the boy would react on major events without his mama and it worried her. Jill, however, told her to focus on her family first and just report. They wouldn’t blame her for taking time for the boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys so latest update, was hoping to get it out earlier tonight but life caught me off guard. But let me know what you think. I tried getting Hope and Carli more in here because I like the friendship Tobin seems to have with both of them. I enjoy writing them too I just don't have a good idea how yet. So as always before I ramble (too late?) comments? Thoughts?


	16. Chapter 16

Tobin stood in front of the home she had bought, Amy and Lauren on either side of her. 

“Welcome back to Portland, Tobs,” Lauren said as she pulled Tobin into her side, “this will be good for you.”

“When do you report to the Thorns?” Amy asked.

“A week,” Tobin bit her lip. “What do you guys think of geraniums along the sidewalk?” she asked with a smirk as Lauren bumped their shoulders together, laughing.

“That you’d kill them in a week’s time.”

“Stick to hearty plants Tobs, we aren’t here to water them for you.”

“Hey, I kept my kid alive just fine! I can handle flowers.”

“Your child informs you when he’s hungry or thirsty or sick, plants just die,” Amy pointed out and the three stayed quiet for a moment before Lauren wrapped her arm around Tobin’s shoulders.

“Hey, you ok?”

“I’m terrified guys… but, I’m excited to be back,” Tobin said and looked up at the house. It seemed almost too big for her and Sasha but she had the promises of many of her teammates that they’d visit often. Christen already had plans to visit the next week. Tobin leaned into Lauren who kissed the top of her head. 

“I don’t think I’ve told you this enough. I’m proud of you Tobin,” Lauren said and Tobin smiled.

“I know you are.”

“I am too,” Amy said and Tobin wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. 

“What am I going to do with all this space guys?” Tobin asked and Lauren laughed.

“Get a dog.”

“She has a cat,” Amy said and Tobin’s eyes went wide. She’d have to get Smudge back from Allie soon, she’d completely forgotten about the animal. “You are going to get him back right?”

“Yeah, I mean he went to New Jersey with us, and he’s only been with Allie till we could settle in… and…”

“Oh my god, you miss him!” Amy accused, stepping away from Tobin, “I can’t believe you like a cat!”

“It’s Alex’s cat!” Tobin snapped back as Lauren broke into hysterics. 

“So?”

“Of course I love the stupid thing, plus he adores Sasha.”

“Ok fine, if he adores my godson,” Amy said and Tobin laughed.

“You mean Jeff and Jeri’s godson?” 

“Shhh, you know they’d have to fight through all of us first.”

“I’d win,” Lauren winked and Amy laughed, “now come on, some pizza and beer is calling us to really break this new place in,” she said, leading the two into the house. 

“Come on kids!” Amy called as all four of the kids ran by and into the house. 

“See Tobs, you’ll have no problem keeping this house full all the time,” Lauren said and Tobin grinned. She knew what Lauren said was true and she couldn’t be happier to think one day, the house would be jammed full with friends and family.

x-x-x

Tobin had dropped Sasha off with Lindsey and Mal for the afternoon, knowing the two would keep the boy busy while she ran out. She normally would take her son with her but she had one stop she wasn’t ready to take him for. 

She walked through the grass slowly, making her way over to the gravesite of her wife. She sat down next to the stone, leaning against it.

“Hey babe,” Tobin said softly. She sighed and tried to relax, “I’m going back to the team. I think I’m ready. I’ve been back with the Thorns for a bit. It’s almost like I never left... till I look up and can’t find you on the pitch in front of me. It’s a bit of a shock at first,” she chuckled, “but I’m sort of getting used to it, in an odd ‘I don’t want to’ sort of way.” 

Tobin took a moment to look around, She laid her legs out in front of her, looking down at her feet covered by a simple pair of flip flops, a set that Alex had tried to convince her to throw out. She chuckled at the memories. 

“Had I noticed I put these on before…” she said, smirking. “I swear, I didn’t do it on purpose,” she chuckled. 

“I’m taking Sasha with me tomorrow, to camp. It’s exciting yet terrifying, all at the same time,” Tobin admitted. “It’s been a year now and I’m still not sure how I’m going to even handle this... but I’m not alone. Our family is so strong, Lex. They have rallied around us and it’s great. Things are starting to look up. We’ll have his birthday there. I’m worried about making it perfect for him…” Tobin groaned, “you have no idea how much I wish you were here to tell me to stop worrying.”

x-x-x

Tobin wanted to wait till the last minute to wake Sasha up and get him ready for their flight. That plan, however, failed pretty much the moment she woke up. Sasha had heard Tobin moving around and he had gotten up to see why. So, when Tobin turned to see why the door opened to her room she couldn’t help but smile as Sasha stood there yawning, pawing at his eyes with his blanket in his hand.

“Mommy?” he asked and Tobin walked over to him, picking him up and kissing his forehead.

“Hey bud, what are you doing up so early?” 

“Mommy, we camp today?” he asked, yawning again, dropping his head to Tobin’s shoulder.

“Yeah buddy, we’re going to camp today.” 

“With aunt Christen?”

“Yup.”

“And aunt Lauren?”

“Yup.”

“And aunt Ash?”

“Yes Sasha, I promise all of your aunts will be there,” Tobin said, laughing. 

“Mommy…”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Don’t get hurt,” he said and Tobin’s eyes filled with tears and she kissed his temple. 

“I won’t Sash, I promise. Now, why don’t you go grab your travel pack and meet me by the front door? We should leave soon,” Tobin said, setting the boy down. He hugged Tobin before dragging himself back to his room. 

Tobin sat down at the edge of her bed, trying not to cry. It was her first official camp back with the team; she was on the roster again. She was excited but it also started bringing up bad memories. When she looked back up she saw Sasha standing there again. The boy dropped everything he had and ran over to Tobin flinging himself against her. 

“Mommy don’t cry,” he said and Tobin hugged him tightly.

“I love you, Sasha,” Tobin said kissing the top of his head. 

“I love you too, mommy.” 

Tobin picked him up, and toed the soccer ball in her room up enough for Sasha to grab it. 

“Ready, my man?”

“Yeah!,” Sasha smiled as they got ready to head out to the airport.

x-x-x

Tobin held Sasha’s hand as they walked into the hotel. She beamed when she saw Dawn and let Sasha run up to the woman; he hugged her tightly.

“Aunt Dawn! It’s camp time!” he grinned and Dawn laughed, nodding.

“It is,” she smiled at Tobin as she walked up. 

“Hey Dawn,” Tobin smiled. 

“Good to have you back Tobs,” Dawn set Sasha down and went through the room keys, “I have you two in room 504, and I have a request.”

“Oh? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a request from my time on this team,” Tobin joked and Dawn rolled her eyes. 

“Press asked if she could room with you guys. I haven’t cemented her in there with you, I wanted to ask first. I know it’d be hard with him and you guys sharing a bed and—”

“I’m fine with that. It’ll be nice having an adult around actually.”

“Well, the hotel does say we need at least one adult per room and we do want to stick to policy,” Dawn joked and Tobin chuckled rolling her eyes. 

“Good one Dawn.”

“Head on up. Lauren and Amy are on either side of your room with their kids and everyone else should be here shortly.”

“Thanks, Dawn, come on Sash. I’ll let you hit the elevator buttons,” Tobin grinned as she reached out for the boy’s hand.

x-x-x

Tobin and Sasha had butted heads the first full day of camp. He was excited at first to be with his extended family, but as the day dragged on and he missed his nap he became uneasy. He was barely used to Portland again when his mother had him on a plane off to another new city. So, when he started throwing a fit in the middle of a meeting, Tobin had picked him up and taken him into another room. Lauren thankfully knew that someone should check on the two after the meeting and went to do just that. 

Lauren had no idea what exactly she was walking in on but knew the face that nearly four-year-old Sasha had on and knew exactly what the boy was going to say. She also knew Tobin had yet to hear it and as a parent, it would hurt her immensely. 

“I don’t want you,” he shouted through sobs, his arms down at his sides in fists as he stomped, “I want mama!” he yelled again and Lauren saw the pain already forming on Tobin’s face.

“I want her too bub, but she’s not here, and she won’t be coming back…” Tobin tried to explain, she knew the boy understood, it’s been a year now since his mama had gone to heaven but he was upset and lashing out.

“I hate you!” he shouted and Tobin froze, staring at him in shock. Sasha, having shocked himself, stared back at his mother wide eyed. Stricken, Tobin started crying. She sat down on the floor allowing the pain of the last year consume her, the words her son had shouted out at her echoing through her mind and tearing her heart into pieces. Lauren watched as Sasha wiped his own face and carefully approached his mother.

“Mommy?” he asked, softly touching Tobin’s shoulder. He almost looked as if he was hoping that Tobin was playing a game with him, with the way she had her face buried away from him. However, Tobin wasn’t playing. She was hurt, she missed Alex, she feared she couldn’t do this without the woman and Sasha’s words had just proved it to her.

“Mommy… I’m sorry,” he tried. He got on the floor by Tobin and tried to push his way into his mother’s arms. 

“Mommy?…” he said again, tears welling up once more in his eyes, “Mommy please,” he begged and Tobin pulled him into a hug crying into his hair.

“I miss mama too buddy,” Tobin cried and Sasha wrapped his arms around Tobin’s neck, sobbing with her. 

“I’m sorry mommy, I love you,” he said and Tobin kissed the top of his head.

“It’s ok, you were sad and angry. I didn’t like hearing it because it hurt my heart but I know you’re sorry,” Tobin said wiping the tears from his face. Sasha’s lower lip still quivering as she spoke to him.

“I love you, mommy,” he said and Tobin kissed his nose.

“I love you too, buddy,” she said, standing up and hitching him onto her hip. Finally noticing Lauren standing there, she walked over to her friend.

“You ok?” Lauren asked Tobin as she ran a hand through Sasha’s hair, the young boy’s head on Tobin’s shoulder as he played with her hair.

“No, but we’re getting there,” Tobin answered honestly, “he’s just stressed. It’s all new to him.” Tobin had brought him on the trip to camp, fearing that leaving him alone with his grandparents might make him feel even more abandoned. 

“I was going to offer to take him with me and Amy to the park.”

“That’s ok, someone here just had an emotionally draining day, and I think we could both do with some cuddles and a nap,” Tobin said, kissing Sasha’s forehead. Lauren followed them up to Tobin’s room. She waited for Tobin to put her son down then hugged her tightly.

“You’re doing a great job, Tobin,” she said softly and Tobin clutched onto her tightly.

“Thanks, Chen, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Tobin said and Lauren patted her back. 

“I’ll always be there for you Toby.” 

x-x-x

Tobin yawned as the hotel door clicked shut, she looked over her shoulder to see Christen walking in. 

“Hey,” she said, kissing the back of Sasha’s head before she sat up in the bed. 

“Hey, how are you two doing?” Christen asked as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

“We’re ok, he was upset but he’s doing ok now,” Tobin said running a hand through Sasha’s hair. 

“How’s he doing with everything? With the move and all that?”

“He’s loving it, says ‘the playgrounds are so much more fun’,” Tobin said in her best Sasha voice, Christen chuckled. “You know, you really didn’t need to offer to share a room with us.”

“I wanted to. I knew how difficult it would be to be back,” Christen explained quickly and Tobin nodded.

“Thanks,” she said softly and Christen gave her a smile. 

“Anytime Tobs.”

“Alright, turn something besides little kid cartoons on,” Tobin said laughing. 

“I hear Arsenal is—”

“Please!” Tobin grinned as Christen turned the tv on, “I’m going to get some snacks. You ok if I leave little man here?” 

“Yeah Tobs, he’s asleep. He shouldn’t be too much trouble,” she joked and Tobin grinned, “just pick me up trail mix and we’ll call it even.”

“I don’t know man, that seems like a lot of work,” Tobin said smirking as she pulled on Alex’s old Cal sweatshirt. 

“Hey Tobs,” Christen said, stopping Tobin before she walked out the door, “thanks for letting me be your roommate,” Tobin smiled and gave a quick nod before disappearing out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I swear I'll try and get back to updates being around 7pm EST again tomorrow, life today and yesterday have been insane. Comments? Thoughts? Ever had a kid say they hate you? It's the worst.


	17. Chapter 17

Tobin was worried about making Sasha’s first birthday without Alex perfect. She knew the boy was missing his mama and knew there was nothing she could do to replace the hole in his heart. But, she could try to make the day the best it could be for him, so when he woke her up at five in the morning Tobin tried not to groan and ignore him. Instead, she opened her eyes, watching the now four-year-old sit on her stomach and smile down at her.

“I’m four now!” he said excitedly and Tobin chuckled, trying to quiet him down; Christen was still asleep. Jill had given them the day off and Tobin was certain it was because it was Sasha’s birthday but when she was able to corner the coach later, Jill claimed innocence. Tobin figured she’d let Christen sleep in while she took Sasha out for a pancake breakfast. She quickly got the boy up and into the bathroom, trying to keep him quiet as they got ready for the day. When Tobin walked back out of the bathroom she found eyes staring back at her, smiling sleepily. 

“So, what’s the big plan for little Sasha’s birthday?” Christen asked and Tobin laughed.

“You know you don’t have to do anything, you can stay in I’ll take him out—”

“Nonsense, he’s my favorite nephew!” Christen claimed as she got up to change for the day. 

“Pancakes for breakfast.”

“Thank god I made reservations at Wildberry then,” Christen grinned and Tobin laughed knowing the woman had something up her sleeve. 

“So, is that why this camp starts in Chicago?” Tobin chuckled and Christen shook her head.

“No, that’d be because Dawn and Jill have, like, six meetings in two days.” 

“Sure Chris,” Tobin smiled.

“Mommy hurry!” Sasha said and Tobin swept the boy into her arms.

“Come on Sash, Chris is going to join us for pancakes.”

“Yes!” he said excitedly. 

The three walked down the road to the pancake house, greeted by a host that immediately smiled at them and sat them. Tobin raised an eyebrow at Christen who chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck.

“I might not have been able to stick to JJ’s rule of once a month,” Christen said and Tobin laughed shaking her head.

Their breakfast flew by. Giving Sasha a good sugar rush first thing in the morning wasn’t really part of Tobin’s plan, but when the boy begged for fruity pebble pancakes as well as some of Tobin’s signature berry ones she just couldn’t resist his blue eyes shining back at her. She was thankful that the boy knew to stay in a 6 foot radius of them as they headed toward the nearest bus stop. They had agreed that taking him to the aquarium would be a good idea for his birthday. As they stood at the bus stop, Tobin tore through her wallet growing more frustrated with each passing moment.

“Crap, we have to go back to the hotel,” she said and Christen gave her a confused look. “I left our bus passes,” she explained looking over at Sasha who was quickly making friends with one of the local’s dogs, “maybe I can just run back real quick…”

“It’s ok, I’m sure he’ll understand,” Christen said and Tobin sighed. 

“Hey Sash… We have to run back to the hotel real quick,” Tobin said and Sasha shook his head.

“I’ll stay here,” he said and Tobin looked up at the owner of the dog before laughing and walking over to him.

“Hey Tobin,” Jonathan said as he smiled up at her.

“Hey Toews,” Tobin grinned as she knelt next to Sasha, “funny seeing you here,” she joked as Christen walked up to them.

“Hey Chris,” he smiled at her, “what brings you guys here so early?”

“This guy just turned four,” Tobin said, kissing Sasha’s cheek. 

“Oh hey big guy! Happy birthday,” Jon smiled, Sasha smiled at him.

“Thanks,” Sasha smiled. 

“You going to grow up and play soccer like your moms? Or you wanna learn hockey with me?” he asked beaming at the boy and Sasha looked up at him.

“Do I get a puppy if I play hockey?” he asked, hopeful, causing Jon to laugh. 

“I’m not too sure if my girlfriend would like me giving up her dog, but I’m sure I could convince your aunt Christen to help you pick out the perfect pup for you.”

“Oh no man, don’t even go there,” Tobin said.

“I gotta get moving kids, it was nice seeing you two,” he quickly hugged both women, and ruffled Sasha’s hair. “Swing by sometime and I’ll get you tickets to a Hawks game, Sasha,” he promised and Tobin smiled.

“Thanks Tazer,” she smiled.

“Any time, tell Jules I said hey. And hey, don’t be a stranger to the windy city.”

“I’m trying not to,” Tobin promised, watching as he walked away. 

“So, I feel it’s a bit weird we know him,” Christen said and Tobin laughed.

“Well, we know someone from almost all the leagues now, plus Zach knew him and introduced us,” Tobin said as they started heading back to the hotel, “plus, you going to pass up free tickets?”

“Hey, maybe he can introduce you to Pavel,” Christen chuckled.

“The magic man of hockey meeting the magician of soccer… it’d be interesting,” Tobin pondered. 

“Mom, hurry up!” Sasha said as he tried, but failed, to open the door to the hotel. Tobin walked up and helped him open the door.

“Hey, we should swing by breakfast and tell everyone we’re going to be out today,” Christen said and Tobin turned Sasha toward the doors to the room. This time, Chris grabbed the doors and the room erupted into cheers. The whole team was standing under a banner which said ‘Happy Birthday Sasha’ and in front of them was a cake and dozens of gifts. Tobin chuckled to herself, why had she worried about his birthday at all? 

“Mommy! Look!” Sasha said excitedly as he ran to Ali who scooped him up, kissing his cheek. 

“We figured we would try to make our little guy’s birthday the best it could be!” Ash said, stepping forward, “so, we have cake for breakfast, along with some gifts and then we’re going to all go to the aquarium and see the sharks! How’s that sound?” Ash said excitedly and Sasha grinned nodding. Ali set him down so he could play with Kip and the other kids, even Maya and her mother were there. Tobin’s heart swelled for the love her team was showing for her son.

“Otters are better,” Sasha said and Ali laughed ruffling his hair. 

“Well even better, cause they have two baby otters!” Ash grinned and high fived the boy. 

“You guys did this?” Tobin asked, looking at Christen who smiled nodding. 

“Yeah, I told you he was my favorite nephew.” 

x-x-x

Christen sat on her own bed as Sasha got ready for his bedtime. His birthday had been long and lots of fun, but exhausting. He was waiting for Tobin to return from the bathroom, but as he waited he pulled his own PJs on. Christen watched over the top of her book as he struggled to remove his socks, finally claiming victory over them he walked over to the bed and knelt down. Christen knew instantly what the boy was doing, and was glad that Tobin was still raising him in faith, even after her own was rocked. 

“God,” the boy started, his hands clasped together, and eyes closed tight, “mama is an angel,” Christen’s heart clenched at the words, “and she’s up there with you, watching down over me, and I want you to tell her that I had fun today. I got to play with Ryan and Kip and Reece and Rylie, they told me stories about mama, that she was the best goal getter after aunt Abby. I like it here mama. They are kind and mommy is happy. I miss mama,” Christen could hear the boy’s voice waver, and watched as he swiped his eyes. “They care about me, and made me have a really good birthday, even if I miss mama. Ok,” he said sighing, “tonight, I sleep me down to lay, and pray to keep my soul, guide me in starry nights, and wake me when morning light.” He quickly made the sign of the cross before crawling into bed. Christen acted like she had never taken her eyes off the book. 

“Aunt Chris?” Sasha asked softly after a few minutes.

“Yeah buddy?” Christen replied, looking over at the boy. 

“Mommy’s still sad,” he said and Christen got up, switching so she was sitting on the edge of the bed Sasha was in. She carefully ran a hand through his soft hair, pulling the blanket up around him.

“I know bud, I wish I could help her more.”

“Is she always gonna be sad?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Do I make her sad?”

“Oh no bud, you make her so happy. She talks about you and she lights up. You are the most important thing to her.”

“Aunt Chris?”

“Yeah Sasha?” 

He looked up at Christen for a moment, unsure of what to ask next.

“Will ice cream help her?” he asked and Christen smiled.

“I’m sure it would be worth a try.”

“Can we go get ice cream tomorrow?”

“We’ll have to ask your mom but I don’t see why not.”

“Aunt Chris?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“I love you,” he yawned causing Christen to smile more.

“I love you too Sasha,” Christen said, tucking the blanket around him as his eyes started to close. As she stood up, Tobin opened the door of the bathroom. 

“Sorry,” she said, pointing down to her leg that was wrapped in gauze, “apparently I’m not as tough as I once was,” she joked and Christen nodded. Tobin had taken a cleat to the calf earlier in a pickup game they played.

“He’s nearly out,” Christen whispered as Tobin climbed into bed and the boy snuggled closer to her. 

“Thanks Chris, you really didn’t have to offer to room with us.”

“It’s my pleasure Tobs, he’s a great kid.”

“He really is,” Tobin beamed looking down at her son who was now fast asleep in her arms. 

“Might want to work on his prayers a little more,” Christen gave Tobin a soft smile.

“Let me guess, ‘tonight I sleep me down to lay and pray to keep my soul’?” Tobin asked smiling herself.

“Word for word.”

“It’s his favorite, I prefer it that way now too.”

“I could get used to it being that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Jon was Jonathan Toews for the Chicago Blackhawks if you were confused. Besides that, Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Let me know what you guys think.


	18. Chapter 18

Christen grabbed her phone off the nightstand, she knew who it would be before even looking at the screen.

“Tobs?” she yawned.

“He’s sick, Chris. Like, really sick. I don’t know what to do...” Tobin said quickly. Christen looked at the clock; it was two in the morning. She had a game against the Thorns, against Tobin, in the early afternoon. It was their home opener for the new season. The light flipped on and Julie was staring back at her, confused, Christen felt horrible for waking her roommate.

“Go back to sleep,” Christen said as she got out of bed, pulling a pair of jeans back on.

“Where are you going?” JJ yawned.

“Sasha is sick…” Christen said and JJ was up pulling her own sweats back on and a sweatshirt over her head, “go back to bed Jay, we can’t both be tired tomorrow.” 

“Like hell,” JJ said and Christen rolled her eyes but didn’t fight. 

“We’ll be right there,” Christen said as JJ shot a text to the team informing them what was happening. They went to the lobby waiting for a cab when Alyssa walked into the lobby in sweats and a Chicago shirt.

“Sash has a cold,” she yawned and Christen didn’t bother to fight her on it either. They all piled into a cab and the man drove to Tobin’s as fast as he could, Christen pressing him to push it.

The moment they arrived, Christen was out of the taxi like a rocket. She quickly opened Tobin’s door with her key and rushed up to the little boy’s room. There she found Tobin holding Sasha as he coughed, hot tears streaming down his face.

“Mommy it hurts!” he cried as Tobin cried into the top of his head.

“I know, bud,” Tobin said softly. Christen walked over to them, she knelt next to the bed, putting a hand on Tobin’s knee.

“We should take him to a hospital…” she said softly and Tobin shook her head, panic in her eyes. Ever since Alex, she hadn’t been back to a hospital, for anything. She wasn’t going to take her four and a half year old there now.

“Tobs, get up. We’re taking him to the hospital.” Christen said sternly, shocking Tobin. 

“He’ll want his blanket,” Tobin said as she stood, Sasha in her arms. 

“I got it,” Christen promised, “anything else?”

“His meds are in the bathroom.”

“I’ll get them too,” Christen said and put a hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “give your keys to Julie, she’ll drive. You tell Alyssa to take the front; I’ll sit in back with you guys. It’ll be ok.”

“Ok,” Tobin said before carrying Sasha downstairs. She relayed the message and watched as her teammates worked quickly and soon they were all piled in the car, driving to the nearest hospital.

“Thanks Chris,” Tobin said as they sat in the hospital waiting room, the doctors having taken Sasha back already, Christen laughed.

“Don’t worry Tobs, I love him too much to see him in pain too, but I don’t blame you for not wanting to take him,” Christen said and Tobin stared at the woman for a moment. Her heart swelled at the same moment that it was breaking. She couldn’t breathe, she started to panic.

“I… I need some air,” she said, getting up quickly  and leaving the hospital so fast that it left Christen reeling. When Christen went to run after her, Alyssa grabbed her arm, shaking her head. 

“It’s ok, let her go,” she said and pulled Christen back to the seat next to her.

Outside, Tobin paced back and forth as she waited for Lauren to pick up the phone.

“This better be important,” Lauren groaned.

“Chen…” Tobin said and Lauren sat up. She reached over and flipped the light on effectively waking up Amy in the other bed. She quickly put it on speaker for the other woman to listen.

“Tobs, what’s wrong?” Lauren asked, trying to stay calm.

“I… I don’t know, I was freaking out and Christen was talking about Sasha and then said she loved him and I don’t know. I melted and I wanted to lean over and kiss her but I can’t. That’s not fair to Alex and it’s not right and—”

“Tobin stop!” Amy demanded and Tobin stopped, sitting down on the curb.

“I think I may have feelings for Chris…”

“Tobin, why are you with Chris at 3 am, the night before a game?” Lauren asked, “start from the beginning for us.”

“Oh… right, um... “ Tobin suddenly felt bad that she had left out what was going on, though she also didn’t want her friends to worry about Sasha.

“Tobin, everything. I’ll know if you’re lying,” Lauren demanded and Tobin sighed.

“Sasha is sick, and I called her because we’re playing them tomorrow. She came over, with JJ and Alyssa and well, we’re in the hospital and—”

“Woah, why is he sick?”

“He’s got a fever and a cough and…” Tobin trailed off.

“Little kids get colds Tobs, it’ll be ok,” Amy promised, calming Tobin slightly.

“Well, Chris came over with them and we took him in, he’s being looked at. Chris started talking and said she loved him too and knew how I felt. I just… it hit me that… I really rely on Chris and I trusted her to be there for me and Sash and… I don’t know guys but I feel something.”

“Why are you worried?” Lauren asked.

“Because it’s not fair to Alex.”

“Woah Tobs, stop right there. Alex would want you to be happy, she wouldn’t want you to be alone forever.”

“No, I—”

“Maybe go talk to Alex’s family,” Lauren suggested and Tobin thought for a moment. Could she really move on from her wife? Was she allowed? She felt something for the woman who had been by her side for the last two years, but it felt like she was letting everyone down if she moved on. 

“Ok,” she agreed, tears welling up in her eyes, her throat tightening up. 

“Oh Toby, it’s ok,” Lauren said.

“Yeah Tobs, it’s ok,” Amy repeated looking up at Lauren her own eyes filling with tears for her best friend. She quickly typed out a text before leaning into Lauren’s side. 

“We’re always here for you Tobin, no matter what,” Lauren promised. 

“You and that little boy of yours.”

“I know,” Tobin said, choking slightly on her cries. She didn’t hear Julie walk up, but when arms wrapped around her she leaned into the presence next to her. Burying her face in the blonde’s neck as she tried to quell her cries.

“It’s ok Tobin, I got you,” Julie promised as she slid the phone from Tobin’s hand. “Hey Lauren, Amy, I got her. I’ll call you if we need anything else.”

“Thanks, JJ,” Lauren smiled, “call us in the morning.”

“Will do,” she said before hanging up. She stayed outside the hospital with Tobin in her arms for another twenty minutes till the middy had collected herself enough to go back in and check on her son. She wrapped an arm around Tobin’s waist as they walked in. 

“She really cares about you Tobin, please don’t doubt that.”

x-x-x

Tobin wasn’t sure why she was shocked that Alex’s parents were at the game the following day, but she was. She was thankful though since Sasha was feeling tired and fussy but the minute he saw his grandparents in the stands, he wiggled out of Tobin’s grasp and ran to them, freaking Tobin out since she had yet to see them. Tobin climbed over the rail and walked up to the couple, smiling as Alex’s father showered attention onto the young boy. Tobin was swept into a crushing hug by Pam before she could get a word out.

“Your mother called us, saying Sasha was under the weather and you were a bit stressed. We come offering our services of babysitting, cooking, and cleaning; and whatever else you need.”

“I wouldn’t mind another hug,” Tobin said and the woman chuckled, but hugged Tobin again. 

“How are you doing Toby? You look a bit frazzled,” she said honestly and Tobin ran a hand over her hair sighing. She looked back up at the woman and felt her eyes starting to water. 

“I’ll be ok,” she lied and the woman shook her head.

“Mommy! Aunt Chris,” Sasha said as the Chicago Red Stars took the field to warm up. He excited he would get to see her again, he felt bad that he didn’t get to spend time with his favorite aunt the previous night while he was sick. 

“I got him,” Alex’s father said as he carried Sasha down to the field. Tobin watched as the players gathered around him, listening to whatever story he had to tell this time. Her eyes barely left Christen as the woman held him, running a hand through his hair and tucking his jacket up against the rising breeze.

“Tobin, why don’t we sit and talk for a bit?” Pam asked taking a seat in the stands, inviting Tobin to sit next to her. Tobin reluctantly sat down and faced her mother in law. “Tobin, I have a serious question and I don’t want you to get offended by it, ok?”

“I’ll try.”

“Why haven’t you started to try and date yet?” Pam asked, shocking Tobin. 

“What? I… I can’t,” Tobin said, backpedaling. 

“Tobin,” Pam took Tobin’s hand in her own, “my daughter would want you happy, no matter what. I see the way you look at Christen, and I see how she cares for Sasha. She wouldn’t be a bad match for you two. I know it’s hard but honey, I don’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life,” she explained as tears started falling down Tobin’s cheeks. 

“I just miss her,” she gasped and Pam collected Tobin into another hug. 

“Honey, you deserve to be happy. If anyone ever has a problem with you moving on from Alex, I’ll thrash them myself,” the woman promised, making Tobin chuckle a little, “so do me a favor and just think about it, ok?”

“Ok,” Tobin promised.

“And kick those Red Stars butts all over that field, even if they are doing a good job keeping my grandson happy right now.” Tobin looked back at the field; both teams were still around Sasha as the boy rested his head against Christen’s shoulder. Tobin smiled, Christen had been there for them for a long time now. She felt better when the woman was around and turned to her just as much as she turned to Lauren and Amy. She just had to find a way to open her heart a little more to the woman. 

x-x-x   
Tobin kicked her shoes off as she leaned against Alex’s gravestone. She grew more comfortable coming to see her wife with every passing visit. 

“So, I know we never discussed this before…” Tobin sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest. “I’m not sure what to do Lex. I love you, and I miss you every day, but it feels right being around Christen. I just wanted to let you know that even if I do move on, it’s not me saying I don’t love you anymore…” Tobin stopped and thought about what exactly she would say if Alex was standing in front of her. “I’ll always love you, and I know you want me to be happy again… so I’m going to ask Christen out. God, it sounds so childish,” she chuckled, “I really think she’ll be good for us Lex. She’s been there for Sasha and I now for... well, he’s nearly five and… two years... it’s really been two years.”

Tobin didn’t say anything for awhile, allowing the calm around her to wash over her. She missed Alex but also knew that no matter what the woman was watching over her and Sasha. She also knew that Alex would indeed want her to be happy. 

“I just wanted to let you know first, you’re still my best friend. Still someone I turn to, still someone I love so much.”

x-x-x

Tobin kept staring out at Christen playing with Sasha in the back yard. She didn’t hear Hope walk up next to her, and jumped when the keeper spoke up.

“She’s good with him,” Hope said and Tobin nodded, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“I don’t know what I’m doing Hope,” Tobin said and Hope laughed.

“You’re falling again, and that’s ok. Go talk to her, I have to ask Sasha to help me with something anyway,” Hope said and Tobin raised a questioning eyebrow. “You’ll find out soon,” she promised. Tobin walked over to the two, Christen smiling at her.

“Hey you.”

“Hey,” Tobin smiled, “hey Sasha, aunt Hope needs you for a minute, ok bud?”

“Ok,” he grinned. He loved his aunt Hope, she helped him get into trouble and he wouldn’t get into real trouble cause his mom would just laugh it off. 

"How's Portland treating you?" Christen asked sliding up next to Tobin.

"House still takes getting used to, Alex picked out our home before I just couldn't bear to return to it."

"I like your new home, it fits you and him," Christen smiled and Tobin nodded, not able to look up at Christen.

"He loves it," Tobin said the two grew silent after that.

“You ok?” Christen asked after a minute, putting a hand on Tobin’s arm, she could tell the woman was nervous and it was worrying her.

“I… no, I have to ask you something and it freaks me out.”

“Just ask Tobs.”

“Do you maybe want to get dinner sometime?” she asked and Christen looked at her confused; they got dinner all the time. Tobin watched as the realization hit her, the woman’s eyes going slowly wide.

“Really?”

“Yeah… really… if you don’t, it’s fine just forget—” Tobin was cut off as Christen leaned over their lips nearly touching. 

“Please tell me I can kiss you,” she said and Tobin shivered. She wanted more than anything to kiss the woman in front of her but she wasn’t sure how she felt about it yet. Instead of answering she took a deep breath and closed the gap, pulling Christen closer to her. 

“So, is this a yes?” Tobin asked, smirking as Christen nodded. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for a long time.”

“I’ve been waiting to ask for a long time.”

“Hey, I’m always going to be here for you, and I know this is going to be new and it’s going to be hard. I want you to talk to me about it, ok? I know you’ll always love Alex and I’m ok with that, but if you start freaking out or get scared or anything, talk to me. I don’t want you to just run because things get scary. And Tobs… I promise you Alex would want you to be happy.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” Tobin smiled, “my only thing is, that boy in there is my life and if you aren’t ready for that—”

“Tobin, I love him so much, it hurts to be away from him. I swear I’ll never hurt him,” that was good enough for Tobin as she leaned back in, kissing Christen softly.

“I’ll pick you up at 8?” 

“Sounds perfect," Christen smiled, the two jumped back when the sliding door crashed open.

"Mommy hurry inside!" Sasha said excitedly and Tobin looked at him confused but started following him.

"What's up bud?" she asked, Christen right behind her, the little boy bouncing up and down on his feet.

"Aunt Kelley's having a baby!" he grinned and Hope facepalmed, apparently he didn't stick to her plan so well. Tobin looked up at the couple, Kelley was chuckling at Hope who was grumbling but had a smile plastered on her face. 

"Seriously? Finally?" Tobin asked and Kelley nodded vigorously. "About damn time Hope."

"Like your one to speak," Hope shot back looking down at the joined hands of Tobin and Christen. 

"I'd say she's got perfect timing," Christen smiled at Tobin who grinned back, her fears from before dissolving quickly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now it's officially Preath, So I guess you can call this the end of act II start of act III? But as always, thought? Comments? Do you guys want a one shot of Kelley and Hope babyproofing the Morgan house from ealier?


	19. Chapter 19

The first night that Christen had spent over, Tobin had been nervous again. She wasn't sure why the young woman was constantly making her nervous. However, when Christen walked into the living room and Smudge laid his narrowed eyes on her, Tobin knew why. She was bringing someone new into their safe spot. The cat yowled as he ran out of the room.

“Sorry about him,” Tobin said and Christen laughed.

“Cats always know right away that I’m a dog person,” Christen smiled and Tobin chuckled. 

“He’s just a butt anyway. Doesn’t like anyone except Sasha.”

“That’s good though, at least he has a friend in the cat. I had a cat growing up and he hated me.”

“Explains a lot,” Tobin smirked as she followed Christen over to the couch. Sasha would be home from an evening with Hope and Kelley soon and Tobin wanted to soak up all the alone time she could get. Her body, however, was screaming at her to go to sleep. 

Tobin tried fighting off fatigue but with Christen running a hand through her hair as they watched TV she soon succumbed. By the time she woke up later, Christen had already gotten Sasha tucked into bed and it was getting late.

“Come on sleepy head, let’s get you to bed,” she said, pulling Tobin to her feet. They stumbled to the bedroom where Tobin fell face first onto the bed, nearly asleep again. Christen leaned down and kissed her.

“Night Tobs,” Christen said softly before turning to leave, but before she could, Tobin’s hand shot out and stopped her.

“Stay,” Tobin mumbled and Christen was shocked.

“It’s ok Toby, I can drive back—”

“Please,” Tobin looked up at her, “stay,” she pled and Christen nodded. She quickly got ready for bed and curled into the bed next to the midfielder. Tobin pulled Christen closer as soon as the forward was laying down, kissing Christen’s shoulder before snuggling close.

“Thank you,” Tobin said and Christen kissed her forehead.

“Anytime Toby,” Christen said before drifting off. In the morning, she’d wake up to a black and white cat staring down at her as he purred deeply on her chest. She’d learn later that Tobin was massively jealous that the cat liked Christen more than herself and that the cat obviously had a grudge against her. Christen just spent the morning laughing as Tobin ranted about the cat.

x-x-x

Lauren sat down next to Christen as she sat with Sasha in her lap.

“Hey Chris.”

“Hey Lauren,” Christen smiled at her. Christen had agreed to watch all the kids for a few hours while their parents were in recovery since she didn’t play the day before. 

“What are you drawing there bud?” Lauren asked Sasha and the boy grinned up at her.

“A picture,” he said back and Lauren rolled her eyes. Of course, he’d have Tobin’s sense of humor.

“What kind of picture?”

“A good one,” he replied and Lauren huffed as Christen laughed. “It’s for aunt Chris,” he explained and Lauren beamed at Christen as the woman’s jaw dropped.

“For me?”

“Yeah,” he said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well Chris, you must be doing something right to be getting a kid’s coloring page,” Lauren said patting her back. She chuckled when Christen looked over at her with watery eyes.

“Thank you Sasha, I’ll cherish it,” she said and the boy rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a picture,” he said and Lauren looked over at the drawing he was working on. It wasn’t just a picture; it was a family picture of Tobin, Sasha and Christen. It was almost like the boy was saying he welcomed her to their family without using words. Lauren had to admit, even she was getting choked up about it. She didn’t blame Christen in the slightest for nearly sobbing into the boy’s hair. She did, however, marvel at her as the woman held it together. Little Sasha had Christen wrapped around his finger, and Lauren doubted the woman wanted it any other way. 

x-x-x

Tobin looked over at Sasha, now seven years old, as he sat next to Christen, his hand wrapped tightly in her’s. Christen cared for Sasha dearly and loved him like he was her own, and it melted Tobin’s heart. However, Tobin still wanted to make sure Sasha was ok with Christen being in their lives, because she wanted to make it a more permanent thing. She wanted to live in the same city as the woman and build their family and fall asleep in the woman’s arms every night. So, she wanted to ask him before she asked Portland to trade her to Chicago, and before she asked Christen to marry her. 

Tobin walked up to them, she wrapped an arm around Christen kissing her, and ruffled Sasha’s hair.

“How are my two favorite people?” she asked and Christen laughed.

“Well, we were fine till someone joined us, huh Sash?” Christen asked and Sasha nodded.

“Oh yeah,” he said back and Tobin laughed. 

“Well, I actually have a very important thing to discuss with Mr. man over here. Do you mind if I steal my boy for a minute?” Tobin asked Christen who grinned, kissing her again. 

“Take all the time you need, I heard Ali has a bottle of wine in need of opening,” Christen said before walking toward the house again. 

“Mom?” Sasha asked as Tobin sat down next to him.

“I wanted to talk to you bud, before I went and changed both of our lives…”

“If this is about moving to Chicago, I’m in… I want you to be happy. Aunt Chris makes you happy,” he explained and tucked his chin to his knees, “I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

“Oh bud,” Tobin wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close, “I love you so so much Sasha, and you mean the world to me. I want to know that you're ok with Christen in our lives.”

“You ask this a lot, but yeah mom, the answer hasn’t changed.” 

“Ok… then would you do me the honor of being my best man?” she asked and Sasha’s eyes lit up.

“Really? You’re going to marry her?” he asked excitedly and Tobin grinned.

“I hope so, I mean I have to ask her, and she has to say yes.”

“Oh, she’ll say yes! I know she will,” he grinned nearly bouncing up and down.

“Now bud, you can’t let her know, ok?”

“I know,” he said, wiggling back and forth. “Hey mom, I’m really glad she’s in our lives,” he said and Tobin kissed the top of his head.

“Me too bud, me too.”

x-x-x

“I finally bought a ring,” Tobin said, sitting against Alex’s headstone. “It fits her, I think, well for sure size wise but I mean— never mind, you know what I meant,” Tobin grinned as she dug the ring from her pocket. “I’m thinking of ways to ask her but I can’t decide. Asking you had felt so natural, even if you say you wish you had gotten some grand gesture, but you loved it. You always said so,” Tobin laughed. “You’d hate Chicago, it’s cold as hell in the winter, even if we do winter here.” 

Tobin laid in the grass thinking about exactly how she would ask Christen. “I just want it to be right, I want her to love it. I know no matter what she will but still. I love her Lex; I don’t wanna mess this up.”

x-x-x

Tobin was jittery. She was going to ask Christen to marry her today, no matter what. She had the clearance from not only their team, but the French national team too, their opponents for the day. She sat in the locker room, knee jumping up and down. 

“What has you so nervous?” Christen asked, putting a hand on the woman’s knee.

“Nothing, just the game,” Tobin lied, catching Ashlyn’s chuckle and shake of her head out of the corner of her eye.

“Come on Tobs,” Christen said pointedly, knowing the woman was keeping something from her.

“I’ll be ok Chris,” Tobin promised and kissed Christen, “be ready out there, I’m placing my money on you tonight Press,” Tobin said as they lined up. 

The game was just a friendly, but each side battled like it was a do or die match. Tobin found herself on the ground a lot, but thankfully the other team helped her up each time and they’d laugh it off. When half time rolled around it was still scoreless and Tobin’s nerves were still low in her stomach. As they headed toward the locker room, Tobin saw Christie standing by the side. She jogged over to the woman hugging her. 

“Hey, I didn’t know you’d be here,” Tobin grinned.

“Well, when Abby called and said you had a big day planned…” Christie said and Tobin gave her a guilty look. 

“Yeah…”

“I just wanted to tell you before that we all support you,” Christe smiled and Tobin’s eyebrows knitted together. So Christie pointed up to the stands where Sasha sat with Abby, Hope, Ali, Lauren, Amy, and half a dozen more of their teammates. Tobin’s grinned filled her face again, her heart swelling.

“Thanks, Cap,” Tobin said and Christie pulled Tobin into a hug, kissing her temple. 

“You got this Toby,” she said, “now kill it in the second.”

The second half began and  Tobin did exactly as her captain asked of her, she killed it. She delivered crosses to Christen that met the back of the net and corners to Julie and Mal. She felt like nothing could stop her, till the final whistle blew and Tobin looked around confused as to why everyone had stopped. Kelley had laughed and wrapped an arm around Tobin’s shoulders. 

“Dork, we won!” Kelley said and Tobin grinned. She looked over to the crowd and Lindsey was already pulling Sasha outta the stands, he ran right to her as soon as his feet hit the ground. Tobin hugged him tightly.

“You ready bud?” She asked and the boy nodded.

“Yeah mom,” He said as Christen jogged up.

“Hey you two,” Christen smiled kissing Tobin and ruffling Sasha’s hair. 

“Hey babe,” Tobin said, taking Christen’s hand. She slowly got down on one knee and Christen just stared at her. Sasha dug the ring box out of his pocket before kneeling next to his mother. “Christen, you make every day so much better. You’ve turned our lives around completely and have always been—” Tobin’s voice caught in her throat for a moment as her eyes started to water. She swallowed and met Christen’s eyes,“ —been there for both of us. You fill every day with so much love and energy, and we were just wondering if you would officially join our family and marry me?”

“And be my mum?” Sasha added as tears fell down Christen’s face. She nodded as Tobin took the ring and slid it on her hand. Tobin stood up and kissed Christen, cupping her face and wiping away the tears. Tobin grinned as she pressed her forehead to Christen’s.

“There are a lot of people here wanting to congratulate you,” Tobin said as Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin’s neck, burying her face into Tobin’s chest. 

“I love you, you dork,” Christen said and Tobin laughed kissing the top of her head. 

“Love you too,” Tobin said. Wrapping an arm around the woman, she turned them so they were facing both teams and their friends and family. Christen smiled at the group as they roared to life and ran to the couple to congratulate them, the stadium cheering around them. Christen kept smiling, not leaving Tobin’s side and Sasha standing in front of her, smiling up at her. 

“I love you too Sasha,” Christen said and the boy smiled up at her.

“I know mum,” he said and Christen’s heart soared.  

x-x-x

Tobin stood in front of the doorway watching the storm rage on the other side. Christen had come down and wrapped her arms tightly around Tobin, kissing her shoulder.

“It’s pretty bad out there,” she said, “I hope it clears up for tomorrow.”

“It will,” Tobin said confidently, “it’s Lex, making sure I know not to screw this up.”

“How do you know?” Christen asked, resting her chin on Tobin’s shoulder. She thought back on her conversation from years ago with Sasha and how she told the boy it was just his mama. She wanted to know what her own fiancée thought.

“Because every time I started to get worried, the house would light up and shake with the power of the storm. It reminded me that she wants me happy, and storms always brought a certain happiness out in me with her. I forgot about that till tonight.” By now, Tobin had tears falling down her cheeks, “but now… now I have you, and Sasha sleeps through them and I was worried but now I know she’s happy too,” Tobin explained and Christen turned her, kissing her softly. 

“If you don’t want to do this…”

“No Chris, I want to do this more than anything,” Tobin promised, wrapping her arms around her, “I just was waiting for a sign, and she finally gave it to me. I miss her but I’m so glad she’s ok with this.” Tobin buried her face in Christen’s neck, “I can’t wait to be your wife,” she said, tears falling.

“Only a few more hours.”

x-x-x

Tobin couldn’t be happier. She stood at the end of the aisle with Sasha dressed in a mini tux matching his mother’s. Tobin had her hands on the boy’s shoulders. 

“It’s ok mom, mum will come,” he promised, looking up at Tobin, and Tobin smiled down at him.

“I know bud, I’m just excited.” At first, Tobin wasn’t so sure about getting married again but Christen made her so happy. It had taken long talks with all her family, all of Alex’s family and countless visits to Alex’s grave before she’d finally got down on bended knee and asked. Now, she stood in front of all three families, plus their teams and friends and her heart was beating out of her chest. 

When the door opened and Christen walked through Tobin was glad Ash was behind her, cause she nearly fell over. 

“Damn Tobs, you did good,” Ash said and Tobin grinned. 

“I know Ash, I know,” she said not taking her eyes off of her fiancée . Tobin hugged Christen’s father before taking Christen’s hand. “Hey beautiful,” Tobin said and Christen’s cheeks flared red.

“Hey, Toby.”

“You sure?” Tobin asked once again and Christen leaned over kissing her cheek.

“More than sure,” she promised as they turned toward the front, waiting to say their vows. Tobin refused to let go of her hands the whole time they stood there. 

Tobin couldn’t have dreamed of a better wedding, her nerves passed the night before about Alex when the random storm came rushing through. She couldn’t help but smile into Christen’s neck that night as another storm rolled in the distance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit longer for this one, it's winding down to the end guys! but as always thoughts and comments?


	20. Chapter 20

Christen watched as Sasha walked up to her, tears welling up in his young eyes. Without hesitating he buried his face in her stomach, tears now streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry,” he cried, Christen ruffled his hair and knelt in front of him so they were eye level to one another.

“Tell me what happened Sash,” she said and he wiped his nose with his sleeve, trying to quell his cries.

“He said that Morgan was a girl’s name… that I had two girl names and a stupid name. I got so mad, that’s mama’s name,” he said tears welling up again. Christen wrapped the ten-year-old in her arms, as he cried. 

“You shouldn’t have hit him buddy,” she said. Honestly, she was proud of the boy; Sasha was proud of who he was and he wanted nothing more than to represent club and country one day. Christen picked him up and sat down in the chair behind them.

“You’re in some pretty big trouble mister, but I want you to know that it’s ok. He hurt your feelings, and no, you shouldn’t have hit him, but secretly, I get it,” she smiled at the boy, “but when your mom gets here, that’s only between us.”

“Mum… why are people mean?” he asked and Christen’s heart broke. 

“Oh buddy, I don’t know. If I could protect you from every ounce of pain and hurt I would, but some people are jerks.” 

“People are jerks?” Tobin asked, leaning against the doorjamb, shocking both Christen and Sasha. 

“Hey,” Christen smiled, recovering first, not noticing that Sasha’s eyes had welled again with fresh tears.

“I heard you got into some trouble mister,” Tobin said, a little disappointment in her voice; she took a seat next to Christen. Under Tobin’s watchful eye, Sasha buried himself further into Christen. 

“I hit someone,” he whimpered and Tobin nodded.

“Why did you hit someone bud? You aren’t violent.” 

“He said Morgan was a stupid last name, and it was a girl’s name. A stupid girl’s name… He said I had two stupid girl names, and that Heath was stupid too. He said that my moms were too stupid to pick a last name for me,” Sasha explained but started crying again. Christen rubbed his back trying to calm him down. 

“Oh bud,” Tobin looked up at Christen for a moment before softly addressing the boy again. “Come here Sasha, I’m not mad at you,” Tobin said and Sasha waited a moment longer, hugging Christen before moving over to sit on Tobin’s lap, who wrapped him in a tight embrace. “I love you no matter what. I don’t care if you hit some silly little boy who is just jealous that you have such an awesome name,” Tobin grinned pressing her forehead to Sasha’s, “and how awesome it is that you have not only two moms, but three, and you have so many aunts that I can’t count that high, can you?”

“Mom!” Sasha laughed, throwing his arms around his mother’s neck, hugging her tightly. “I love you, mommy,” he said and Tobin smiled, kissing the side of his head. 

“Love you too bud, now come on, we have to apologize.”

“But mom! He was mean first.”

“And what do we do after every game, even to the players that were mean?” Tobin asked and Sasha sighed.

“We shake hands and say good game.”

“Good, now come on. Grab your mum’s hand and we’ll go talk to the principal and that little jerk,” Tobin said and Christen rolled her eyes. They walked as a family into the office where the other student sat and Tobin tried not to smirk at the fact her son had bloodied the kid’s nose.

“I’m glad you’re here Mrs. Heath.”

“It’s—”

“She’s glad to be here, well not under these circumstances but you understand,” Christen cut Tobin’s remark off and Tobin smirked.

“Your boy hit our son!” a woman accused pointing right in Tobin’s face. Tobin rolled her eyes and laughed.

“I see. Well, your boy was picking on my son. Picking on him about my dead wife so…” Tobin stared the woman down and Christen just rolled her eyes. When it came to Sasha, Tobin could become vicious in a heartbeat, no longer was she her normal laid back self, but a cornered animal.

“Words are different than physical violence!” the woman yelled and Christen tried not to laugh.

“Oh? Really? Because your boy will forget about getting his face punched in a year or so, but my son? Yeah, he has to live with the words your son spat at him every day for the rest of his life. Well, your son might remember that he got beat by a kid half his size but he’ll get over it sooner or later. My boy, he has to live with the fact that his mother is dead. So yeah, I get a little pissed off when little shit-heads like your boy spit out words without thinking of the damage they can cause. He just wanted to upset my boy and wasn’t expecting for him to retaliate. Guess what? My son did exactly what he should’ve done.”

“Ok, Tobs…” Christen said, pulling Tobin back from the family, “it’s ok, just relax.” 

“Stay the hell away from my boy and keep your trap shut so next time he won’t hit you,” Tobin fumed as she walked out. Sasha looked between all the other adults and the boy who hit him, in the room and shrugged.

“Sorry, Tony! See you next week!” he shouted as he chased after his mother, Christen following close behind him. Sasha jumped into his mother’s car, leaning forward on his elbows between the front seats, to look at her as Christen got in the passenger seat.

“So mom… what happened to the hand shake idea?”

“Fuck it, you deserve ice cream,” Tobin said and Christen’s jaw dropped, that wasn’t exactly how she was expecting that to go, “no one talks bad about my son or the ones I love,” Christen took her hand, she smiled at Tobin as she relaxed a bit. 

“We might have to work on that for next time,” Christen said and Tobin scoffed.

“Bud, don’t hit anyone again.”

“I’ll try not to mom,” Sasha grinned and Christen gave him a look, “Mum, I said I’ll try!”

“Alright Sash.”

“We still get ice cream, right?” Sasha asked after a few minutes of silence in the car, causing both women to laugh.

“Yeah buddy. Ice cream for the big defender,” Tobin smiled back at him.

“Well about that…” Sasha said as if this was the perfect moment to bring up the new topic. “I wanna be a striker,” he finished and Tobin’s jaw dropped. She snapped her head around to look at Christen.

“You got to him!” she accused.

“Only took 7 years,” she puffed up, high-fiving the boy, “I did make a promise, didn’t I?

“Alright Sash, then you’ll be the best damn striker in the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this one might seem a little odd but it carries a few really key points that carried not only throughout the story but show up in the end. Thus why it's in here. As always let me know what you guys think.


	21. Chapter 21

Tobin stared down at the pregnancy test that was in Christen’s hand. She’d only felt this excitement one other time in her life and that was when Alex had found out she was pregnant. Tobin looked back up at Christen who was beaming.

“Well… I’m telling you right now, that one day, very, very far in the future, when you run into Alex in heaven. She’s going to give you hell for getting pregnant in one go,” Tobin smirked and Christen flung herself at Tobin kissing her.

“We’re going to have another kid,” Christen said kissing Tobin’s neck. 

“We are!” Her heart swelled every time Christen said that Sasha was her son, this time was no different. 

“Oh my god, I hope it’s a girl! No wait, a boy! Oh, I don’t know… A girl—” Tobin cut her off by kissing her.

“I hope they are healthy,” she said and Christen smiled cupping Tobin’s face. 

“You’re perfect,” she said and kissed Tobin again.

“But secretly I hope it’s a girl,” Tobin grinned and laid back on the bed, pulling Christen with her.

x-x-x

Tobin knew a lot about pregnancy, things she wasn’t even sure she’d remember. However, she knew from the get-go that she’d remember the fear. She wasn’t as nervous or fearful this time but she had a gut feeling that Christen might be. So, when she woke up one night and Christen was sitting up in bed she knew exactly what it was. Tobin inched closer to the woman, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

“Hey, you ok?” Tobin asked and Christen shook her head, “what’s going on?”

“I’m scared, Tobin,” Christen said and Tobin smiled. She kissed her wife’s shoulder and crawled out of bed. She felt Christen’s eyes on her as she walked over to the bookshelf they had in their room. Tobin took a moment before finding what she was looking for and returning back to bed. She flipped the light on their nightstand on and pulled Christen till she was leaning back into her. 

“When Alex became pregnant, I was terrified. I knew nothing about kids and I was terrible at commitment; I had no clue what she saw in me. She saw something though, and so did every teammate we had. You guys came and crashed into our house so quickly to prove me wrong,” Tobin laid the first photo album in Christen’s lap, it was the one for Tobin. “Every time I got scared I would pull this out and see all the things you guys saw in me. It gave me strength. Even after we had Sasha, I would turn to the book and repeat to myself that I could handle this,” Tobin kissed the top of Christen’s head. “I didn’t start this for this same purpose but it could help,” Tobin laid a book Christen had never seen in the woman’s lap. It was another photo album on the front was Christen the first time she had held Sasha.

“When did you start this?” 

“Right after you said yes,” Tobin smiled and Christen opened the book. The first page was the picture Christen had taken of Tobin, Alex and Sasha at Tobin’s first game back after the boy had been born. “I wanted this in here because even before... you were making an impact on our lives. This picture stayed in my locker for years, and still is. I’ve had it in my car, my wallet, it’s in our living room, it is my favorite photo of us and I’ll never forgot who snapped it,” Tobin grinned leaning over to kiss Christen as she flipped the page. The next photo was of Christen holding Sasha after that same game, and a photo of her giving him a piggyback ride a few years after that.

“I know what it’s like to be scared but you have a way with kids, and you’ve already helped raise one. I promise you that you will be just fine.” She smiled and Christen snuggled further into Tobin, resting her head on the woman’s chest.

“I love you Tobs,” she said, going through the photo album. Tobin kissed the top of her head.

“Love you too Chris. You’re going to be a great mom, because you already are one.”

x-x-x

Tobin would never truly admit to liking Smudge since Alex’s death, but she still had a soft spot for him. As the cat got older he went back to his ways of loving on Tobin again. He sought her out for nightly snuggles as he struggled to keep his achy body moving. However, Tobin swore the cat knew that Christen was pregnant before they even did. For as little as Smudge liked Tobin for some time there, he would be hot and cold with Christen. He likely realized that she was to blame for the dog that had entered his home. Though one night he was snuggled close to Christen, right smack on top of her stomach. Christen allowed him to do so, even finding an odd comfort in him being there. 

“He knew before we did,” Tobin said, laying next to Christen on the couch, as she pet the cat. 

“He may have,” Christen agreed. The old cat had his nose pressed against Christen’s stomach as he purred away. 

“When Alex was pregnant, he constantly chased me away from her, so at least that’s changed.”

“I doubt this poor thing has enough energy left in him to even make it back to his own bed.” 

“He’s a good cat at least, always kept a good eye over Sasha,” Tobin said sadness filling her when she realized that one day, the cat would eventually pass. 

“He seems pretty keen on our newest little one too,” Christen smiled. 

“Something about cats and baby bellies,” Tobin chuckled.

“Might be the fact it’s warm.”

“No, I think he truly cares about little girl or boy Press in there,” Tobin grinned, leaning over to press a kiss to the side of Christen’s stomach, “I know I sure do.”

“You better, you’re the one that roped me into this,” Christen warned and Tobin laughed, leaning up to kiss her wife.

“You wanted them just as badly as I did,” Tobin said and Christen smiled into their kiss. 

“I can’t wait to meet them.”

x-x-x

With most of the original national team out of their prime and retired from their duties for club and country, they often took the opportunity to gather together, whether it be for a game centrally located for everyone, or something to celebrate. Today was definitely something to celebrate. Christen sat next to Mal on one of the couches in the house the group had rented out on the shores of the Atlantic, bringing many of them back close to home. 

“So you found out what they’ll be right?” Mal asked, smiling down at her former mentor.

“We did, but we made a deal not to say till everyone was here!” she said and Mal groaned, flopping back against the couch.

“I know,” Sasha smirked at Mal who glared at him.

“Just remember, I’m still allowed to pick on you,” she said, narrowing her eyes at the teenaged boy.

“Sure Mal, sure.”

“God, when will Carli and Abby get here?” Mal complained as the door opened and Kelley came running in.

“Chris!” she said excitedly and Christen looked up at the woman, “Cap just pulled in!” Christen reached her hand out and Kelley gladly helped the woman to her feet as they all made their way outside.

“Well look at you,” Christie smiled, walking up to Christen, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek, “it suits you,” she said honestly and Christen blushed. 

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Christen said and Christie waved her off.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You two mean the world to me, plus an excuse to get out of that house? I’ll gladly take it anytime,” she added, “now, where is my favorite nephew?” 

“Right here, Cap,” Sasha grinned and swept his aunt into a hug. 

“You get bigger every time I see you, what are you feeding him Christen?” Christie laughed. 

“Honestly? He eats everything and then complains we don’t shop enough. He’s impossible.” 

“Oh, I remember those days,” Lauren smiled as she walked up with Tobin and Amy.

“Remember them? Your boy just came over and ate everything in my house not a week ago!” Amy accused and Lauren grinned nodding. 

“I was out of food, what else was I supposed to do?”

“Heck Cheney, even I go and shop for my kid. Slacking a bit there mom?” Tobin smirked as Lauren gave her a small shove.

“Well, as much fun as this is, I say we move it back inside,” Ali suggested, “and kids? Chris gets first pick on where to sit,” she reminded the youngsters who groaned.

“Always so bossy princess,” Ash smirked kissing her wife. 

“Well, I learned from the best.”

“Damn right you did, I ran a tight ship in my day,” Hope jumped in and Ali grinned at her, giving her a fist bump. 

“Hey Solo, watch it. This right back is mine, you have the other one,” Ash warned just as Kelley walked up.

“What is it with our keepers somehow being able to tame us right backs?” Kelley asked, smirking at Ali who chuckled, looking up at Ash who had her arms wrapped protectively around her.

“I’d say it’s the other way around Kells.”

“Guys! Hurry up! She’s going to tell us if it’s a boy or girl,” Mal yelled from the house.

“No, she’s not, we’re not that clueless Pugh. We know she’s waiting for Abs,” Hope shot back.

“Why are we waiting for me?” Abby said from behind them, causing Hope to jump.

“Christen and Tobin are going to announce the baby’s gender.”

“Oh good, just in time,” Abby grinned. “Carli is right behind me, and by that I mean she fucking tailgated me the whole way here.”

“Yeah well, if you didn’t drive like a grandma,” Carli sassed back, grinning as she hugged Hope. “Hey, you guys are four short?” she said and Hope nodded.

“The O’Hara home got four extra Georgia peaches this weekend,” Hope said and kissed the top of Kelley’s head, “I was going to murder them all slowly if they didn’t go for a visit.” 

“I kept telling you, Mom would be more than happy to have her ‘precious angels’ down there.”

“Guys!” Mal yelled again and this time, the group moved toward the living room.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Becky said, sitting next to Julie who bounced her own son on her lap, grinning at her friends. 

“Well, we just found out,” Tobin started and smiled down at Christen. “We’re having a little girl!” she said and the room erupted into noise as everyone congratulated them. 

“Another little girl,” Ash grinned. 

“Guys… wait... “ Kelley said, deep in thought as everyone turned to her, “this little girl means 25 baby girls and 24 baby boys, a total of 49 kids between all of us,” Kelley said a moment later and the room fell quiet. 

“Damn! We went at it like rabbits!” Ash said, breaking the silence and earning a smack from Ali.

“Hey, you’re right up there with one of the higher counts! You have three,” Moe accused.

“Three very wonderful children,” Ash smiled, kissing Ali’s cheek.

“We have enough to form our own teams!” Mal said excitedly. 

“Who knows? Maybe one day all of them could end up on the same teams,” Cap said and everyone nodded.

“Well, if your kids last as long as you did Cap that might hold true,” Christen smiled. She ran a hand over her baby bump, looking up at Tobin, “it takes a village, huh?”

“Yeah it does,” Tobin leaned down and kissed her.

x-x-x

Tobin couldn’t be more smug about how flawless her plan had gone off to get Christen to talk about baby names. She remembers how hard it was to find a name for Sasha. The countless days of tossing names back and forth, the arguments, the nights on the couch, and worst of all the cold shoulder when she wouldn’t give up Pavel.

“Oh! I like Marigold,” Ali said and a few heads turned her way, Sasha grinned and added it to the board he had so he could keep track of ‘approved’ names.

“Daisy,” Ash added flipping through the book she had. Christen, Tobin, and Sasha all shook their heads, not allowing it to be added to the list. 

“Dylan?” Mal offered.

“That’s a boy’s name,” Abby said and Mallory held up the book proudly. 

“It’s unisex, says so right here.”

“I actually kind of like Dylan…” Christen said and Sasha wrote it down. So far they had thirteen approved names, with two of those being approved by everyone in the room. Christen flipped to another page and stopped. The first name she spotted was Lexi and it burned against the white paper. She thought about it for a moment, knowing how similar it was to her wife and son’s past. All she could think about however was a little girl named Lexi chasing after Sasha in the yard as she called them both in for dinner, it fit perfectly.

“What about Lexi?” she asked quietly. The attention in the room focused solely on her and Tobin as the group waited for a reaction. Tobin looked down at her wife, brows furrowed. 

“Lexi?”

“I like it Tobs,” Ali said and Ash nodded.

“It’s a pretty name, for what is sure to be a pretty girl,” Lauren added. 

“Go for it,” Abby smiled warmly. 

“Chris… you sure?” Tobin asked, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Of course Tobin. She wasn’t just part of your life, but all of ours… If our little girl ends up even an ounce like Alex, she’ll be an amazing human being,” Chris said as Tobin cupped her cheek, pulling her in for a slow kiss.

“I love you, Chris,” Tobin said softly barely parting from her wife’s lips. 

“Well, I think we found a winner,” Sasha said putting his marker down. “Who had their money on it starting with an L?”

“That’d be me!” Pinoe said proudly, she walked over to Sasha to collect her money, “you can still change your minds and use Landon though!”

“I don’t think so Pinoe, I’m pretty set on Lexi,” Christen grinned as Tobin kissed her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Sorry for being late on yesterday's update, kinda had an exam that killed me last night. Only one more to go thank god. And guys this is almost done! I think two chapters are left? I'm excited but I'm sad to see it go. Let me know what you guys think!


	22. Chapter 22

Where Sasha was born on a stormy day, tiny little Lexi was born on a bright sunny day after a night full of storms. 

Chicago storms may have been different than Portland storms; they were more intense, but Tobin still took comfort in them. She and Sasha had watched it roll in and the boy had looked at her that night and only said one thing.

“Mama is watching over Lexi too,” he said and Tobin kissed the top of his head. The next day Tobin wondered how right the boy had been as she held Lexi in her arms, the girl’s green eyes wide taking in everything.

“You want to hold her, Sasha?” Tobin asked walking over to the thirteen-year-old. Sasha gladly took his little sister into his arms. 

“Hey Lexi, I’m so happy to meet you,” Sasha grinned and Tobin smiled, ruffling his hair as she went back over to Christen’s side. Tobin smiled down at the woman, brushing her hair back before kissing her.

“You did great Chris,” Tobin said and Christen gave a sleepy smile. 

“We did great. We’re in this together, all of us.”

x-x-x

Lexi quickly became Sasha’s best friend. He loved spending time with his younger sister. He was always the first one up when she cried, take her for runs with him and even didn’t mind changing her or giving her baths. As she grew, he would take her to practice with him and the boys on his team would coo over the young girl. He taught her all the important things in life. The best soccer moves, the best ways to get out of trouble, and even the best prayers to say before bed. Sasha loved his role as a big brother. 

x-x-x

Sasha awoke in the middle of the night. Lexi was crying as a storm raged outside the home. He yawned and made his way down the hall to his little sister’s room. Pulling the girl from her crib, she instantly curled into her big brother’s chest letting out hearty sobs.

“What’s the matter, Lexi?” he asked softly, rubbing her back. The two-year-old kept sobbing as he walked over to the rocking chair in the corner.

“Is the storm scaring you?” he asked as he started to rock her back and forth. “You want to know a secret?” He asked and the little girl looked up at him, nodding. 

“My mama, she was scared of storms too. They were loud and mean and she just plain didn’t like them. You know what though?”

“Hmm?” The little girl yawned.

“Mommy and I, we showed her that storms aren’t scary. They are just this really big exciting thing to happen. Mommy used to take me outside and we’d watch them come through. When you’re bigger, I’ll do that with you, ok?”

“Kay,” she said back and Sasha kissed her forehead, her cries having stopped. 

“You know what I think of storms now?” he asked and Lexi shook her head, “I think they are my mama reminding me she’s still here watching over me.”

“Why?” 

“Because I know mama watches over us, both me and you and even mommy and mum. Mama is always here for all of us,” he explained, “she loves you too, you know that right?”

“Yup,” Lexi said. She had heard stories about Sasha’s mama and the love the woman had. 

“So, when storms come through, don’t be scared, it’s just mama reminding us she’s still here.”

“Ok Sash,” Lexi said and yawned again, her eyes sliding closed. Sasha smiled and went to go put her back in her crib, he tucked her blanket up around her.

“You sleep tight little one,” he said, kissing the top of her head, “and you watch over her mama, just like you do me.”

x-x-x

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sasha jogged up to his little sister picking the nearly three-year-old up. “Why are you crying baby girl?” he asked, grabbing her blanket from the floor as he rocked her in his arms.

“She’s in trouble for hiding mom’s keys again,” Christen said and the little girl pouted in her brother’s arms.

“Don’t go Sash!” she cried and Sasha grinned.

“Oh but Lexi, you know I have to. It’s my job and I love it. I promise I’ll be back,” Sasha said when an idea struck him. “You know what? I used to get real sad when camps rolled around, you know what my mama did?”

“No?”

“She and I would make cookies, and that always helped me not be sad. You want to make cookies with me?” he asked and Lexi grinned, nodding. So, Sasha walked them to the kitchen, Christen following behind them. She took a seat at the bar top to watch her two children. Sasha set Lexi on the counter and pulled her own little apron out, one with little dogs all over it. He quickly helped her into it before starting to get everything out. 

“What kind?” she asked and Sasha grinned over his shoulder.

“Our favorite, chocolate chip,” he said. Sasha allowed Lexi to help him measure things and dump them in a big mixing bowl. He even let her control the speed on the mixer. Neither child noticed when Tobin had walked in, taking up residence next to Christen, her eyes shining with tears. 

“Hey babe, what’s wrong?” Christen asked when she noticed the state of her wife.

“Alex did this exact same thing with him the day before we left for camp,” Tobin explained and Christen took her hand, “I had no idea he remembered.”

“Mama and I always made cookies when I was sad. Of course, I remember,” Sasha smiled and handed a spoonful of cookie dough over to both his mothers. “Dawn will understand,” he smirked and Tobin chuckled, she walked over to him, kissing his cheek, then Lexi’s cheek.

“How did I end up so lucky?” she asked as Sasha hugged her tightly.

“Oh, Lexi? Where are the keys?” Sasha asked and the girl sighed but jumped down with the help of her brother, she walked over to the garbage can, sliding the bag over she reached down and grabbed them. 

“I’m sorry,” she said as she handed them over to Christen.

“It’s ok sugar,” Christen said, picking the girl up and planting a kiss on her forehead, “I get sad when Sasha goes too.” 

“But hey, I’ll be back, and we have cookies!” He said and everyone laughed. 

x-x-x

Sasha loved taking Lexi with him on the first day for any national team camps they went to. He was still vying for the senior team, knowing his time was coming as he grew up. He also knew that when his parents dropped him off, they would get a small reunion with their friends, his family. Amy and Lauren would be there dropping their sons off and the young girl would be showered with attention. As long as it was people she knew, the girl wasn’t shy, but the moment someone she wasn’t sure about approached, she would hide behind her older brother. 

Though what was even better, as far as Sasha was concerned, was game days while he was at camp. The two siblings would have been separated for a few days by then, and both were excited to see each other.

“Sash!” Lexi said, running up as fast as her three-year-old legs could and her brother swooped her into his arms.

“Hey, Lexi! You guys are early,” he said and Lexi kissed her brother’s cheek.

“Mum promised ice cream if you win!” she said excitedly.

“Oh, did she now?” he asked looking up to Christen who looked guilty. 

“I’m sure Dawn won’t mind, but you have to win.” 

“That’s the plan,” he grinned, “can I take her down to the pitch?” 

“Sure just be careful,” Tobin said as she took Christen’s hand, “why don’t we go find HAO?” 

“Sounds good to me,” They followed their kids down to the pitch where they knew the woman, now coach of the team, would be. 

“I knew you two weren’t far behind,” Heather smiled as she hugged her two friends, “that little girl of yours gets cuter every time I see her.”

“Thanks,” Christen smiled as Tobin wrapped an arm around her waist, “so, how are our boys looking?”

“Looking good enough that the senior team coach is here today, but they don’t know that so…”

“Down low, gotcha,” Tobin grinned, “what do you think?”

“I think we’ll be having a ‘15ers reunion in a month at the next men's senior team game,” HAO grinned and Tobin smiled, “and that your little girl is going to be showered with affection.”

“She’ll be four then,” Christen said and HAO nodded.

“You guys better be ready to drive a U-Haul home with all of the stuff she's going to get.” 

x-x-x

Tobin hugged Sasha tightly, he was about to board the team bus and head to the stadium. 

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll do just fine,” She promised him, running a hand through his hair, it had grown to match his mama’s over the years. Tobin swore if you put a 17-year-old Sasha next to a 17-year-old Alex they’d look like twins. 

“Mom…” He whined but a smile was plastered across his face, his bright blue eyes dancing.

“Just promise me you’ll be safe.”

“I promise.”

“And get some goals.”

“I always try,” He grinned. 

“And remember,” She pulled him down kissing his forehead. “Mommy and mama love you,” she said softly and he wrapped her into a tight hug. 

“Mom, you did the best you could, and it was a hell of a lot better than most people could do. You always made me feel loved. So stop thinking you weren’t enough,” Sasha said grinning, he put his hands on her shoulders. “Look where we are mom, look what we’ve achieved, again. This is just the start.”

“Sasha, it’s time to go!” HAO said walking by, she grinned at Tobin who beamed back. “Tobs,” She nodded.

“HAO, kill it out there today,” Tobin smiled.

“With this team? My jobs easy, save me a seat in the stands!” HAO grinned as she headed toward the bus, Tobin turned back to Sasha.

“Kick some ass out there bud,” Tobin said and Sasha’s jaw dropped.

“You don’t swear.”

“Only when it’s important,” Tobin smirked and gave Sasha a nudge. “Go make us proud.”

“Will do mom!” He said jogging off to join his team. 

x-x-x

Tobin was nervous. More nervous than her own debut for the national team. This time, she wasn’t the one running onto the field, but her son. She was surrounded by all her teammates. All twenty-three players from the 2015 World Cup had flown in for the game, along with other teammates from throughout the years. All sorts of family members and even Jill and Dawn had made the trip. Tobin couldn’t help but feel the love for her son. In front of her was Servando, Maya, and Jennifer who had giant ‘13’ signs for Sasha. Even Jonathan Toews and some of the old Hawks had showed up. They were all here celebrating Sasha’s accomplishments and Tobin felt a pride settle in her chest. All these people loved her son just as much as she did and helped him to his place. Christen wrapped an arm around Tobin kissing her temple. 

“It’s ok, I promise,” she whispered and Tobin chuckled, kissing her back. 

“We have a special treat for you all tonight,” an announcer said through the PA and Tobin stopped breathing. “Coming up from the u-20 group to join the Senior team is someone very near and dear to all soccer hearts. Blood of two World Cup champions from the 2015 Women’s World Cup, raised closely by 3 of those champions and watched over by all 23 members, we’d like to introduce Sasha Morgan-Heath-Press to the national team!” The crowd erupted into cheers around them, no section louder than their own. Tobin had tears streaming down her face as she watched her son run to the edge of the pitch. He looked up at his mothers and sister, smiling, before taking Kip and Ryan’s hands and the three did a pitch jump. By now there wasn’t a dry eye in their section and Christen was crying into Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Sasha will be wearing number 13 in honor of his mother Alex Morgan and his three mothers’ names on his jersey tonight.” Everyone cheered as they saw the jersey Sasha had donned for his first game. Up top was emblazoned ‘Morgan’, not only his last name but representing his mama. ‘Heath’ was stitched across his right side for his mom while ‘Press’ adorned his left side for his step mother. “These three great women all had a hand in raising him and creating the striker we have in front of us today. Please give a warm welcome to Tobin Heath and Christen Press, along with Alex Morgan who we know will be watching over her son today,” The crowd once again roared to life in a standing ovation for the three. Tobin kept an arm securely around Christen, kissing the top of her head. 

“That’s our boy out there,” Tobin said softly and Christen nodded. 

“Get it Sasha!” Lexi yelled and Tobin laughed pulling the girl into her lap, kissing her cheek.

The crowd quieted down as the game started. Tobin couldn’t help but laugh as Sasha dominated the field with his own group of ‘New Kids’ in Kip and Ryan. She glanced over her shoulder at Amy and Lauren who had their own tears in their eyes. Their boys were just slightly older and had been on the team a little longer but all three grew up playing together and knew they’d make the national team one day. 

Tobin turned back to the field and watched as Kip Holiday set up Sasha for a perfect goal, Sasha’s first. Tobin watched with the stadium quiet as the ball sailed by the keeper’s head and swooped into the netting behind him. The crowd erupted once more as Tobin jumped up and watched as Sasha, with a striking resemblance to Alex copied his mama’s favorite victory move and airplaned to his team. As they all jumped on Sasha burying him in celebration he lifted one hand pointing to the sky. Tobin smiled softly looking up herself.

“We did good, Lex.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so... that's it (no apparently counting isnt a strong suit this week). I'm sad to see this end. Also shout out to my beta AnanziP1 you rock bud, and hey guess what, it's actually finished. But tell me what you guys think, good bad, any thoughts really. Favorite parts, least favorite part(s)? And thank you for reading guys!


End file.
